(no subject)
oh man. im funny. what a weird...yeah.
so, brazil. brazil is great. everything about it is great. but i like my blog better than lj. which is ok. tuesday i leave real amazonia, yet stay within the legal amazon, and go to sao luis, aka tropical reggae island, and live in a seminary and do environmental health community research. my life rocks?
i feel pretty different here. in a great way. independent and content with myself in ways i havent felt in a while. for a while i mean more or less summer after junior year. so, its been a while. but quite uplifting. as in, i feel like i finally have this image of myself, of the person i know is inside of me and that i have the potential to be that comes out now and then. now all i need to do is make those steps to get to there.
and yes. im weird. and yes, potentially a jerk. potentially an asshole. but. im learning here about my limits. i cant do long distance. im tired of being the nice guy who ends up getting walked on because he tries hard, too hard, to see the good in people who dont deserve the benefit of the doubt that i so generously give. and unlike previous times, its not enough to just say im tired of it. time to act on it. im tired of being walked on. time to just step up, and maybe be mean in the process. but its time to open up regardless. and just be who i feel comfortable being. and let people judge if they want. but, shes right, you need to take those chances. after all, the people who matter wont care, and the people who care dont matter. thank you doctor seuss.
my reading list for back in the usa:
otherwise? my life. seen lots of great/awful/brilliant/mindblowing/magical things here. in brazil. lots of very good conversations. lots of mind opening experiences. the usual study abroad. but much better. from what i hear. all i need now, i feel, is a few books, a martial art to get into, and a few long conversations with professors. maybe i should re-read The Gift. or finish reading In an Antique Land. because Ghosh is great. oh. Phantom Tollbooth. thats a must read again. and Magicians Newphew.
lots shit to do!
oh, all i want to do is environmental/ecologically minded public health. community based participatory research. martial arts. live in a port town or city. and own a small boat. where i will write. not fiction. but not boring dry non-fiction either. somewhere in between. maybe i should read magical realism. or something. i dont know. being on a boat during the manaus trip was so great. so cool. i need that. times 5.
so, brazil. brazil is great. everything about it is great. but i like my blog better than lj. which is ok. tuesday i leave real amazonia, yet stay within the legal amazon, and go to sao luis, aka tropical reggae island, and live in a seminary and do environmental health community research. my life rocks?
i feel pretty different here. in a great way. independent and content with myself in ways i havent felt in a while. for a while i mean more or less summer after junior year. so, its been a while. but quite uplifting. as in, i feel like i finally have this image of myself, of the person i know is inside of me and that i have the potential to be that comes out now and then. now all i need to do is make those steps to get to there.
and yes. im weird. and yes, potentially a jerk. potentially an asshole. but. im learning here about my limits. i cant do long distance. im tired of being the nice guy who ends up getting walked on because he tries hard, too hard, to see the good in people who dont deserve the benefit of the doubt that i so generously give. and unlike previous times, its not enough to just say im tired of it. time to act on it. im tired of being walked on. time to just step up, and maybe be mean in the process. but its time to open up regardless. and just be who i feel comfortable being. and let people judge if they want. but, shes right, you need to take those chances. after all, the people who matter wont care, and the people who care dont matter. thank you doctor seuss.
my reading list for back in the usa:
- The Vortex: Jose Eustasio Rivera
- Cosmicomics: Italo Calvino
- Invisible Cities: Italo Calvino
- The Teachings of Don Juan: Carlos Castenada
- One River: Wade Davis
- A Golden Age: Tahmima Anam
- Underground: Haruki Murakami
- Kafka on the Shore: Haruki Murakami
- Risk Society: Ulrich Beck
- The Ghost Map: Steven Johnson
- Biography of a Germ: Arno Karlen
- Man and Microbes: Arno Karlen
- The Plague: Albert Camus
- Heart of Darkness: Joseph Conrad
- Pedagogy of the Oppressed: Paulo Freire
- The Great Transformation: Karl Polanyi
- The Invisible Pyramid: Loren Eiseley
- The Parasite: Michel Serres
- Origin of the Species: Charles Darwin
otherwise? my life. seen lots of great/awful/brilliant/mindblowing/magical things here. in brazil. lots of very good conversations. lots of mind opening experiences. the usual study abroad. but much better. from what i hear. all i need now, i feel, is a few books, a martial art to get into, and a few long conversations with professors. maybe i should re-read The Gift. or finish reading In an Antique Land. because Ghosh is great. oh. Phantom Tollbooth. thats a must read again. and Magicians Newphew.
lots shit to do!
oh, all i want to do is environmental/ecologically minded public health. community based participatory research. martial arts. live in a port town or city. and own a small boat. where i will write. not fiction. but not boring dry non-fiction either. somewhere in between. maybe i should read magical realism. or something. i dont know. being on a boat during the manaus trip was so great. so cool. i need that. times 5.