home is where the heart is
despite the fact that skipping school is bad yadda yadda yadda, this week (half week?) has been incredible. ive gotten to spend hours and days with the people i love the most. the people i honestly feel are meant to be in my life and stay in my life. the people i wake up excited to see. the people i live for being friends with.
and now i have to leave...
how could 5 days be sooooooooooooo short? its not fair. good times shouldnt pass so quickly because i never want this to end. i never want to leave this feeling. i dont want to go back to a school im not happy at, that i dont have my best friends at, that i dont have the love of my life at....yes, i said it even thought we're broken up. sue me.
im sick and tired of feeling like i live to come home like i live to come back to the bay and see all the amazing people i have here. why can't i just always be here? why am i forced to live in san diego this year? why can't i be where im happiest? sure, i have to go to college and san diego is where i wanted to go. but it's not where i want to be. not yet. maybe next school year sure, but not now. not when im hearing all the things my friends are doing, all the parties they're going to, all the adventures they're having, and not actualllly getting to experience them too. like, i get that people need to go to school and work and make something of themselves, but that's all ive been doing for the last 13+ yearssss!! why cant i just say 'fuck it' and stay in the bay and go back next year?
gahhhhh this is so frustrating and unfair....i've finally found the people who make me happiest and the people i want to be with and hang out with and live my life with, and college has just ripped me away from all of it.
i mean, i know that they are all there for me, but calling one of them to share stories and such isnt the same as calling them to come over.
i feel like all the people at ucsd are just substituting for my real friends, but will never actually be my friends...well, not my best friends. which sucks. i hate not having my best friends. its soooo hard. i know many people prob wont believe this since ucsd is so big, but honestly, there are times i feel so alone i cant stand it.
tonight was seriously the most fun i've had in a while, and goes to show how it doesnt matter where you are or what the fuck you're doing, all that matters is the people you're with. eating at little shin shin and being super loud and obnoxious (not on purpose, just cause that's who we are), eating amazing chinese food and talking about hrs, and classes (who would ever think i'd actually enjoy talking about classes outside of school??!!), and then being ridiculous about oranges and fortune cookies, and hanging out outside of fenton's and jumping up and down because alexis (and hopefully lindsey) get to visit me in a week and a half!!! and driving to longs to get valentines, and deciding that alexis and i are going to be valentines :) and dancing to soulja boy in my car, and singing at the top of our lungs, and being finally able to get scott's car unparked and giving amazing good-bye hugs :(, and singing all the way to lindseys, and more good-bye hugs
i seriously could not ask for better friends
or a better night. that was the perfect way to end my stay :)
but also makes me sooooo not want to leave EVER
like actually
if i didnt "have" to go to college, i wouldnt
i realize this has gone on wayyyyyy too long, but the point is that i have the best friends in the entire world and the bay area is the greatest place on earth and i love everything about my life when im here, and never want to leave....
i hope you guys always know that i love you and you mean the UNIVERSE to me!!
peace, love, and happiness
hales
and now i have to leave...
how could 5 days be sooooooooooooo short? its not fair. good times shouldnt pass so quickly because i never want this to end. i never want to leave this feeling. i dont want to go back to a school im not happy at, that i dont have my best friends at, that i dont have the love of my life at....yes, i said it even thought we're broken up. sue me.
im sick and tired of feeling like i live to come home like i live to come back to the bay and see all the amazing people i have here. why can't i just always be here? why am i forced to live in san diego this year? why can't i be where im happiest? sure, i have to go to college and san diego is where i wanted to go. but it's not where i want to be. not yet. maybe next school year sure, but not now. not when im hearing all the things my friends are doing, all the parties they're going to, all the adventures they're having, and not actualllly getting to experience them too. like, i get that people need to go to school and work and make something of themselves, but that's all ive been doing for the last 13+ yearssss!! why cant i just say 'fuck it' and stay in the bay and go back next year?
gahhhhh this is so frustrating and unfair....i've finally found the people who make me happiest and the people i want to be with and hang out with and live my life with, and college has just ripped me away from all of it.
i mean, i know that they are all there for me, but calling one of them to share stories and such isnt the same as calling them to come over.
i feel like all the people at ucsd are just substituting for my real friends, but will never actually be my friends...well, not my best friends. which sucks. i hate not having my best friends. its soooo hard. i know many people prob wont believe this since ucsd is so big, but honestly, there are times i feel so alone i cant stand it.
tonight was seriously the most fun i've had in a while, and goes to show how it doesnt matter where you are or what the fuck you're doing, all that matters is the people you're with. eating at little shin shin and being super loud and obnoxious (not on purpose, just cause that's who we are), eating amazing chinese food and talking about hrs, and classes (who would ever think i'd actually enjoy talking about classes outside of school??!!), and then being ridiculous about oranges and fortune cookies, and hanging out outside of fenton's and jumping up and down because alexis (and hopefully lindsey) get to visit me in a week and a half!!! and driving to longs to get valentines, and deciding that alexis and i are going to be valentines :) and dancing to soulja boy in my car, and singing at the top of our lungs, and being finally able to get scott's car unparked and giving amazing good-bye hugs :(, and singing all the way to lindseys, and more good-bye hugs
i seriously could not ask for better friends
or a better night. that was the perfect way to end my stay :)
but also makes me sooooo not want to leave EVER
like actually
if i didnt "have" to go to college, i wouldnt
i realize this has gone on wayyyyyy too long, but the point is that i have the best friends in the entire world and the bay area is the greatest place on earth and i love everything about my life when im here, and never want to leave....
i hope you guys always know that i love you and you mean the UNIVERSE to me!!
peace, love, and happiness
hales