(no subject)
At some point, when I decided to stop trying to make sense of life's pitfalls and miseries, i resolved to make it more interesting. I suppose when the normal state of being is boredom and a general dislike for life, it's difficult to be unhappy when everything is new. So I got a job in the nation's capital for the summer. I decided to go travelling some. I stopped caring about everyday worries like school, money, etc.
Being away for the summer did help. When my environment was new, I had no time to become complacent. It's as if my senses were heightened and everything new. At some point in 2008, I decided I wanted to do an internship in Europe. Looks like I got my wish. I'm leaving for Switzerland in January for 8 months.
Problem is, I hope things get more interesting because I'm feeling terribly apathetic about the amazing job and amazing new location. I suppose I need a bit more of something to get me motivated. I suppose this is the problem with having a life full of dramatic life and death situations. Crises become normal and normal becomes dull... and dull becomes depressingly dark.
Trying to pull myself out of this fit of apathy is hard enough as it is. Amazingly, I'm noticing more and more that both my parents have a very strange outlook on life. For two atheists, my parents are the least empowered people on the planet. Everything happens TO them... and they have no idea how to change their own situations. No wonder my life has been so hard, I've been deprogramming myself from this and haven't even realised it.
Being away for the summer did help. When my environment was new, I had no time to become complacent. It's as if my senses were heightened and everything new. At some point in 2008, I decided I wanted to do an internship in Europe. Looks like I got my wish. I'm leaving for Switzerland in January for 8 months.
Problem is, I hope things get more interesting because I'm feeling terribly apathetic about the amazing job and amazing new location. I suppose I need a bit more of something to get me motivated. I suppose this is the problem with having a life full of dramatic life and death situations. Crises become normal and normal becomes dull... and dull becomes depressingly dark.
Trying to pull myself out of this fit of apathy is hard enough as it is. Amazingly, I'm noticing more and more that both my parents have a very strange outlook on life. For two atheists, my parents are the least empowered people on the planet. Everything happens TO them... and they have no idea how to change their own situations. No wonder my life has been so hard, I've been deprogramming myself from this and haven't even realised it.