(no subject)
I never seem to be able to do anything right for my mom. I'm not blaming her because I've put her through a lot of shit these couple weeks, but still. That's what it feels like. I'm never right and therefore can never relax. I had a plan and it was shot down before it left the ground and its been a couple days and I don't know what to do yet. No one has said, "okay, lets sit down and figure this out." Instead I'm asked what I'm going to do and told that I should be looking up things instead of relaxing for an hour or so before work. Ok, now I'm making her seem like the bad guy. She isn't. She wants to know what I'm doing for the next year. I just don't know yet. And when I say I don't know I'm accused of rolling my eyes at her when I'm not. I'm trying to end the conversation because its not a conversation at all. Its a one way thing that I can't win or even come out of feeling semi-good about myself. I'm upset because I don't want to be like that towards her and I hate it, but I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do in a situation like this? I don't even know how to communicate with her anymore. I feel like I'm either being dictated to or being yelled at or being completely ignored.
All I want from her is a real conversation.
I didn't realize that would be so much to ask for.
All I want from her is a real conversation.
I didn't realize that would be so much to ask for.