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Aug 03, 2012 23:55


Yesterday I had my first of 6 counselling sessions. It was ok except we went through so many sad aspects of my life that she wasn't sure how to help me and what to focus on. So.. We're going to look at my self esteem... I ended up in tears about something from my past that I hadn't considered would still be causing me woes :( how am I supposed to get 'fixed' in another 5 sessions? :-s hope it doesn't leave me with a whole heap of unresolved issues!

Later on yesterday, I ended up doubled up in severe upper abdominal pain - whilst having a wee :-/ I was sweating profusely and feeling faint - rang Steve, who was thankfully in work with me, I told him to ring 999 and then to take me to a&e.. Then got him to stop at my local drs in the hope that someone might be there - it was around 6:20. They were still there and wheel chaired me into the Dr's room. She got me to lie on the bed and took my pulse, felt where it was painful, took my blood pressure and then prodded around where it was painful. Then she rang 999 :-s She gave me a tube to pee in and sent me off to the toilet with Steve to take a sample. When I came back the ambulance crew where there and they got me to lie back down on the bed. The Dr said I had pinky cheeks now and told the crew that I had been completely pale. She did a pregnancy test, despite Steve having had a vasectomy! It was negative which I suppose I'm glad about.

I was still in pain but it was milder so they told me to go home and if it was still painful in an hour to ring the duty Dr - if I went all pale and sweaty again Steve was to ring 999 immediately!

We went back home and I was still doubled up in pain so we lay on the bed together and eventually fell asleep - I woke several times, still in pain but it was getting better :) woke up after a good 12 hours sleep and was still feeling a bit woozy and very mild pain but more a slight worry that it might happen again :-s

Been to work and other than feeling 'weird' my stomach has been ok and yay I hope that's the last of it :)

Meanwhile, things are difficult with him - I still don't know why I'm doing all the running. I told him that I felt lonely today and he took it that I was attacking him!!! Arghhhhhh :( all I meant was.. Well, that I'm feeling so unloved and need someone who cares about me, to show me!! *sigh* it's all difficult and it seems like I'm the only one who can move us on while he sticks his feet in and drags things from the past up all the bloody time :( something will change, time will tell...

via ljapp

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