(no subject)
So I was going to do one of those 2008 in review things, except I was trying to use old livejournal entries and I discovered I only had one or two entries every month. So it wasn't very helpful and I only really remember significant things. I don't really want to remember it though, since not much good actually happened and it mostly just got worse as the year went on. So I'm not going to think about that.
What I am going to think about is how I changed over the year. I'm a less optimistic person than I was before. I don't care about much like I did before, although that might be a result of being a senior. I've mostly become a person I don't like. At all. I can never do what is expected of me, no matter how hard I try, and I feel like everything I've done over the past couple of the years has been a waste of my time because no one is ever satisfied with what I do. I hate when I whine but I find myself doing it more and more often. The world just seems to be a more evil place every day and it makes me upset.
So I have to try and make this year a better year. It's weird because this is the year we've been waiting for for as long as I can remember. Mike is going to be gone for six months and it's going to be awful. I'm hoping that I can force myself to repair the relationships I've ruined by being too busy and antisocial. I have to make it through the rest of my senior year in post. The only reason I'm even there is to fill the position I was elected to and to be on call because I still want to be able to do things for people. I can't stand the people or the events or the drama or any of it. So I'm just going to stay out of it as much as I can and still do what I have to. I want to be more optimistic so the world doesn't look so dark and evil. Most of all I want to be a happy person. I doubt that's ever going to happen. At least content would be good. I want to be a good person, not someone people don't want to be around or associate with.
I listed ten resolutions in my real journal, but I should put them here too I suppose. The gist of them is that I want to be more organized and motivated and healthy and I want to get things done. So I have to become that way.
I hope you all are well. Happy new year.
What I am going to think about is how I changed over the year. I'm a less optimistic person than I was before. I don't care about much like I did before, although that might be a result of being a senior. I've mostly become a person I don't like. At all. I can never do what is expected of me, no matter how hard I try, and I feel like everything I've done over the past couple of the years has been a waste of my time because no one is ever satisfied with what I do. I hate when I whine but I find myself doing it more and more often. The world just seems to be a more evil place every day and it makes me upset.
So I have to try and make this year a better year. It's weird because this is the year we've been waiting for for as long as I can remember. Mike is going to be gone for six months and it's going to be awful. I'm hoping that I can force myself to repair the relationships I've ruined by being too busy and antisocial. I have to make it through the rest of my senior year in post. The only reason I'm even there is to fill the position I was elected to and to be on call because I still want to be able to do things for people. I can't stand the people or the events or the drama or any of it. So I'm just going to stay out of it as much as I can and still do what I have to. I want to be more optimistic so the world doesn't look so dark and evil. Most of all I want to be a happy person. I doubt that's ever going to happen. At least content would be good. I want to be a good person, not someone people don't want to be around or associate with.
I listed ten resolutions in my real journal, but I should put them here too I suppose. The gist of them is that I want to be more organized and motivated and healthy and I want to get things done. So I have to become that way.
I hope you all are well. Happy new year.