(no subject)
I need to stop acting like my life is going to fall apart when you leave. Because I know it isn't. Sometimes I wonder if I'm more afraid of being fine without you here than I'm worried about not being fine. As if it would mean we mean less to each other than I convince myself that we do. Unfortunately I don't think there's any way of figuring it out right now..
My sleep schedule is so off right now that I am currently making myself dinner.. I hope it isn't like this all vacation because then I sleep all day. Normally I can prevent myself from having such an awful schedule but since we didn't have school Friday I ended up sleeping all day by accident after staying up late doing homework. And then there's the fact that I don't have any particular desire to associate with the rest of the planet at the moment, so I might as well be up by myself.
So the only college I've heard from so far is Boston College, and I got deferred to regular admission. Some of my friends think I'm nuts for being happy about that but whatever. I never thought they would even consider me, seeing as my grades are less than fantastic and everything. I don't really even care if they deny me; knowing that a school like that would even consider me is enough to make me feel like I actually accomplished something after torturing myself for the past (almost) four years. Plus my first choice school is Providence.
I need to accept that I can't change what people are going to do with their lives, no matter how sure I am that they are doing the wrong thing. And that I can't try and hold on to things that are no longer there, or won't be there much longer. In a few months we'll all be leaving each other, and I have to be ready for that when it happens.
My sleep schedule is so off right now that I am currently making myself dinner.. I hope it isn't like this all vacation because then I sleep all day. Normally I can prevent myself from having such an awful schedule but since we didn't have school Friday I ended up sleeping all day by accident after staying up late doing homework. And then there's the fact that I don't have any particular desire to associate with the rest of the planet at the moment, so I might as well be up by myself.
So the only college I've heard from so far is Boston College, and I got deferred to regular admission. Some of my friends think I'm nuts for being happy about that but whatever. I never thought they would even consider me, seeing as my grades are less than fantastic and everything. I don't really even care if they deny me; knowing that a school like that would even consider me is enough to make me feel like I actually accomplished something after torturing myself for the past (almost) four years. Plus my first choice school is Providence.
I need to accept that I can't change what people are going to do with their lives, no matter how sure I am that they are doing the wrong thing. And that I can't try and hold on to things that are no longer there, or won't be there much longer. In a few months we'll all be leaving each other, and I have to be ready for that when it happens.