yearbooks...

[crazyinlove03]

wow, it'd amazing how fast freshmen year has gone by. i mean, it feels like just yeasterday i was worried about not finding my classes, or being late to school, or even not finding any friends. life seems so easy then..i didn't have to worry about people i've had not-so-perfect relationships with or whose every flaw seems to stick out and make someone so unbelieveably annoying. At least in elementary i knew the type of people i would be dealing with. if someone were to yell at me, i would probably know what was wrong with them if it wasn't in their usual nature to do so. i was protected and watched over, never harmed or hurt. But now, i've got more freedom, more room to be my own person and experience things on my own. i have to face people whom i barely know anything about every single day. i have to listen to this huge amount of drama coming from people i now nothing about. it amazes me as to how i see these people everyday, yet i know nothing about them. but then again, you cross those few exceptions that you thought you knew everything and anything about them, and you realize, you don't know them at all. well, back to my thought for today, the time has come to close this certain chapter of my life with yearbook signing and the usual "K.I.T."s and "see you next summer"s, but for some reason this year seems more emotional for me to do. some people come up to me and ask me to sign their yearbook just for the heck of signing it, and i'm stuck into this situation of writing something nice about someone, yet i barely even know them. i mean how much do i really know about the smart girl in my math class or the quiet one in the back of religion? actually, how much do any of us know about each other...? i'll tell you what...barely anything. what am i to do in that type of situation? or even worse, what if someone you've had a bad start with or gotten into a fight with and haven't really resolved your differences asks you to sign their yearbook, what are you to do? you can't say no, but you can't really think of anything nice to say either. In a nutshell, what i'm really trying to say is how am i supposed to go through yet another year with people who barely even know me, and pretend that everything is alright? i mean when my mom got that notice about the risk of having to move because of state budget cuts and stuff like that, i thought of it as an opportunity to start over...again. begain fresh and maybe for once be happy with who i am and the people i hang out with. i mean ya there are those people who you love and are the greatest friends, but no one can survive on those couple of friends alone. i guess what i'm really trying to say is that i want true friends..is that so much to ask?

P.S. Melissa i <3 you, and thanks so mcuh for being the wonderful and beautiful friend that you are, really, i can't thank you enough for being there for me.