(no subject)
So yesterday was not the best of days. This week, in fact, has not been the best of weeks. Because I let my guard down. Because I decided not to take the advice that I was giving some one else, I got fucked. But also, because I'm having more difficulty than anticipated kicking my own ass into gear this semester. I got so lazy over the summer. I just hope I haven't done irreparable damage yet.
So last night, after rehearsal, I got back to my house, and my roomate bought some beers because he's not having a good week either. And we drank, and we watched two of our housemates play guitar hero. Aaaand then we started a two-man mosh pit. Along with the "life-hating army". Yes, we moshed to guitar hero. And then I left to pass out, because moshing takes a lot more energy than I anticipated. But even though I was buzzing and exhausted and feeling better than before, it took me a long, long time to fall asleep. This is affecting me far more than I should have allowed. Why the hell would I let myself fall for her in the first place? I could've stopped all of this...
I leave tomorrow. I don't know how well I'm going to deal with this. I'm trying to decide whether or not I should even try to win her affection back (provided I ever had it to begin with).
And after all of this, the most surprising, disturbing, and indescribably frustrating part is that I still fucking love her.
So last night, after rehearsal, I got back to my house, and my roomate bought some beers because he's not having a good week either. And we drank, and we watched two of our housemates play guitar hero. Aaaand then we started a two-man mosh pit. Along with the "life-hating army". Yes, we moshed to guitar hero. And then I left to pass out, because moshing takes a lot more energy than I anticipated. But even though I was buzzing and exhausted and feeling better than before, it took me a long, long time to fall asleep. This is affecting me far more than I should have allowed. Why the hell would I let myself fall for her in the first place? I could've stopped all of this...
I leave tomorrow. I don't know how well I'm going to deal with this. I'm trying to decide whether or not I should even try to win her affection back (provided I ever had it to begin with).
And after all of this, the most surprising, disturbing, and indescribably frustrating part is that I still fucking love her.