(no subject)
Have I changed?
I think so. Toned down the noise. Found a path to follow. Found some one that helps me really look at myself.
This process is almost familiar. I did do this fairly regularly, didn't I...
Farming. The concept wasn't even a consideration the last time I wrote in here. It didn't sound fun, or interesting, or meaningful. In six years I've attached all of those qualifiers to just that profession, assuming one adheres to a certain ideological practice and isn't seeking wealth. But I lack the certainty or conviction of one who has known his calling from a young age.
But I'm making a go of it. And it's certainly more promising than anything that I've dipped my toes in before. I'm even waking up differently. Usually after a month or so, angry at the world and my station, mulling over a deep sense of despair at the concept of leaving my comfortable slumber for the menial drudgery that lay before me. Now - a year and a half in - I drive to work, and I smile.
That's something.
I think so. Toned down the noise. Found a path to follow. Found some one that helps me really look at myself.
This process is almost familiar. I did do this fairly regularly, didn't I...
Farming. The concept wasn't even a consideration the last time I wrote in here. It didn't sound fun, or interesting, or meaningful. In six years I've attached all of those qualifiers to just that profession, assuming one adheres to a certain ideological practice and isn't seeking wealth. But I lack the certainty or conviction of one who has known his calling from a young age.
But I'm making a go of it. And it's certainly more promising than anything that I've dipped my toes in before. I'm even waking up differently. Usually after a month or so, angry at the world and my station, mulling over a deep sense of despair at the concept of leaving my comfortable slumber for the menial drudgery that lay before me. Now - a year and a half in - I drive to work, and I smile.
That's something.