For Once...
Dont you hate it when there are so many thoughts in your head and none of them will come out. i do. and my head is spinning so fast, i cant keep up with it. seriously, it really does feel like it is spinning. too many things are on my mind. im having a writers cramp too. dont you hate it when that happens? this bites. i was thinking, but i cant say it. im to afraid. heh, me afraid (!) but everyone is afraid of something. i wish i could speak words of meaning. something that would change someones life for the better, or made them see a deeper side of me. but... thats crazy talk for me to do that. i wish i was skilled like that, like Alli is she has so many great ideas, she is so smart. and Arnar, he always knows what to say. so why cant i be like that? why cant i change the world? but... how am i going to change the world, if i cant even change myself.
He's all i think about, day and night. its hard to breath, and tears want to go down my face. my heart beats faster then ever before. He's in my dreams, and im afraid, he will think i am some kind of psycho freak, or a stalker. but the thing is, im not. i just really hit it hard. so once he reads this he will know, i really really really really like him. oh dear. i am kind of scared for him to read this. i could make it friends only... but then.. i dont know.
some lyrics to kind of explain my head: See...this is real.....But she doesn't feel. Lonely hearts, Shattered Dreams
Theres nothing better in this place. Nothing but memories
my mom just came up and said i have to go to bed, its ten thirty. but its best i dont. so what do i do? i wish the stars would come out. i wish it was the weekend. i wish you would get on. i wish for once, i wasnt afraid. my head really hurts, maybe it is best i go to bed.
too many unsaid words...