Its one of those time to here from monica.
My feet are extremely cold and my stomach is extremely upset. What a combination! Woo! Okay lets see candy (M&M's) and soda (cherry coke) not good together ;o). I went with my mom, step dad, brother, and step sister today to see Shrek 2. It was so cute. Butttttttt, I didn’t really want to go. -side note i am so stupid i just tripped/ran into my chair. now explain to me how someone could do that?!! Well its a typical monica thing to pull off.- i dont know it is my Saturday and instead of being in this hell hole i live in, i would rather, be screwing up some where else. but whatever, i am just, frustraded. Ok if you don’t want to hear me babble then don’t read the rest. and i am too lazy to put it in an live journal cut. but i guess i will....... wow hello! ok sooo, we had to go Seattle to see Shrek 2 and in the car ride i had some free time so i was thinking.... i am trying to get away from the house, i really really do not like it but they keep me in there. there has to be something in the constitution about keeping someone captive in their own house! *chews gum and thinks* i am just so tired of everyone telling me what to do, and what they want... so i get pushed off to the side, and now it is hard for me to decide or see what monica wants or needs. but if people tell me what to do, then i get kinda pissy at them and get all angry because i really really really don’t like when people tell me what to do. always i have been that way. i remember i would be in the bath tube when i was oh, 6 or 7 thinking ( i am the type of person who thinks a lot, and keeps my thoughts to myself so no one knows what i am thinking, or most of the time ;oP ) and one of the things i would think about was how much i did not like it when people told me what to do. anyways so, the point to that was, its like people are telling me how to run my life. Mommy wow! I am a big kid now! ok i think it is time for angry notes for people but i am not putting their names, i am putting mine in instead:
Monica- can’t seem to let go of the pain you gave me. Yeah we had some good times but then you left me. you left like the wind when to hot hot sun comes out. and that is a perfect analogy because, i used to be your sun shine and you would sing me that song. But i guess, this sun shine faded away, and they came into your life. so this sun shine turned into rain. and cries for the pain to go away. you put me through so much and i feel so little. but as you put me through at that stuff, you also helped me with my problems. I love you. i really really really really really really REALLY do.
Monica- you left me too, and i cant get the image of me standing on the porch and watching you go, i thought i did something wrong so that’s why you left. i remember it like yesterday. i hardly ever see you anymore, and i don’t think that is right. but even though all it feels like you do is nag and nag about the church, i remember when we spent time together, the movies, the bbq's with your friends, trips. but some of the pain i feel from when i was young, still remains in me. I love you. i really really really really really really REALLY do.
Monica-i don’t really know what to say. i remember when we were kids, i looked up to you so much and i still do, but seeing how we never talk anymore = / ..... well you know. i think it was better when we lived in a smaller place. do you remember when we would play legos together, i would play with your friends, or when we would play video games? we have had our share of good times. i wish that we could, bond more, that you would care about me more. i mean i am scared to upset you or annoy you, that i don’t ask. maybe because also you play video games and don’t need my help anymore, and i hide in my room. Oh, but late at night when you were in your room and i was in mine and i started to cry, how you cared. now if i cry you just sit there. what happened, we had such a tight bond. we let moving and the "new" changes separate us. I love you. i really really really really really really REALLY do.
Monicas (for two people in one letter)-ok lets see you guys rock! you are always there through the hard times. we help each other out, but sometimes you jump to conclusions, then you don’t listen to me, you block me out. so when i tell you the truth, you don’t hear it, you just listen to everyone/thing else. but, i don’t have much else to say, except that i love hanging with you people!!!!! sooooo many good times! I LOVE YOU!!!!
Monica-you always say that you "love me" and i don’t believe it anymore. heck i don’t believe it when anyone says it, well unless they mean it as a friend. but as you grow away from me, what if i start to like you but you don’t like me? i guess i am screwed huh? haha. oh well sucks for me ;0 ). there something i would like to say... but i am not. this may be confessional monica style but you wont make me say that. even when you don’t like me like that anymore, will we still hang out and do stuff together, will you still joke with me, like the old days? will you still call me for no reason and have long drawn out conversations and awkward silences? will you still be there? or... will you leave me? i love you.
to the real monica-you are so dense! for heaven sakes you run into everything... chairs, doors, cars etc. i have more nothing to say to you... *evil glare to self*
well hope you enjoyed your readings ;0 ). well now go.