Oops.
Hey everyone. Yeah. Uh. See, I'd like to apologize for not ever being online/answering the phone/generally disappearing.
Also, never updating.
On the other hand, I'm completely erasing all sense of myself and filling it up with Christopher Moore, Harry Potter and Dave Barry-all of which I have read and reread for the past month. I'm not going to have a brain near the end of this and am going to come up with some really bizarre Lamb/Harry Potter crossovers wherein Biff decides to vacation with Mary in London and keeps running into very strange people who are seriously trying to fight against their own Dark Wizard Lord Guy and Biff's all nonchalant and suggesting that they eat more bacon and convincing people that adultery is really not all that bad. And that he never had sex with the Yak, no matter what anyone else heard.
And people generally write him off as a crazy person until he starts pretending to prophesize the end of the world as told to him by the greatest guy ever (Josh) and his prophecies start inexplicably coming true. Then he gets lectures from Mary while they're eating in a restaurant that she saw Josh in her bathroom mirror and he told her to tell Biff to stop fucking with people or he was going to actually COME and lay some smack down. To which Biff replies, "Josh lay the smack down? Bullshit." Then he turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "And pretty soon when the sky turns blood-red, you should go find someone you love and bang their brains out. Because, lo, the end is nigh."
The sky turns blood-red the next day and the Ministry of Magic is all up in arms trying to find this prophet guy and wondering WHY THE HELL the prophecies are not in the prophecy room where they belong, and strange men with masks appear trying to kill-or-apprehend-but-most-probably-kill Biff who is all, "Behold. I get thee the fucketh out of here." He tries to escape with the Magdalene and only manages to get to customs before they are stopped and all hell breaks loose with the escapes and the confusion and the gospel and living out second chances.
NOT that I thought about this AT ALL while sweeping chewed popcorn out of dirty theaters.
I need a life.
ETA: Also, does anyone want to give me advice on whether or not I should read Chronicles of Narnia? I mean, I've read "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" but I never got past that first one. Is it worth it? And by worth it I mean that I remember thinking (back in the day when I was still in fourth grade) that it was kinda slow. But since then I've tried to read "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy and can only make it through "The Fellowship" before I can't read anymore. So what I'm saying is that I might have redefined slow. And perhaps TLtWatW is not slow. Or something. In conclusion: How much does it cost and will I want to rip my hair out because I'm way too old to start to try and create a nostalgic love for a set of children's books?
Also, never updating.
On the other hand, I'm completely erasing all sense of myself and filling it up with Christopher Moore, Harry Potter and Dave Barry-all of which I have read and reread for the past month. I'm not going to have a brain near the end of this and am going to come up with some really bizarre Lamb/Harry Potter crossovers wherein Biff decides to vacation with Mary in London and keeps running into very strange people who are seriously trying to fight against their own Dark Wizard Lord Guy and Biff's all nonchalant and suggesting that they eat more bacon and convincing people that adultery is really not all that bad. And that he never had sex with the Yak, no matter what anyone else heard.
And people generally write him off as a crazy person until he starts pretending to prophesize the end of the world as told to him by the greatest guy ever (Josh) and his prophecies start inexplicably coming true. Then he gets lectures from Mary while they're eating in a restaurant that she saw Josh in her bathroom mirror and he told her to tell Biff to stop fucking with people or he was going to actually COME and lay some smack down. To which Biff replies, "Josh lay the smack down? Bullshit." Then he turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "And pretty soon when the sky turns blood-red, you should go find someone you love and bang their brains out. Because, lo, the end is nigh."
The sky turns blood-red the next day and the Ministry of Magic is all up in arms trying to find this prophet guy and wondering WHY THE HELL the prophecies are not in the prophecy room where they belong, and strange men with masks appear trying to kill-or-apprehend-but-most-probably-kill Biff who is all, "Behold. I get thee the fucketh out of here." He tries to escape with the Magdalene and only manages to get to customs before they are stopped and all hell breaks loose with the escapes and the confusion and the gospel and living out second chances.
NOT that I thought about this AT ALL while sweeping chewed popcorn out of dirty theaters.
I need a life.
ETA: Also, does anyone want to give me advice on whether or not I should read Chronicles of Narnia? I mean, I've read "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" but I never got past that first one. Is it worth it? And by worth it I mean that I remember thinking (back in the day when I was still in fourth grade) that it was kinda slow. But since then I've tried to read "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy and can only make it through "The Fellowship" before I can't read anymore. So what I'm saying is that I might have redefined slow. And perhaps TLtWatW is not slow. Or something. In conclusion: How much does it cost and will I want to rip my hair out because I'm way too old to start to try and create a nostalgic love for a set of children's books?