Buddy Time: Ironhide

[crazyforcrazies]

[A familiar voice clears itself across the comms.  Well, sort of familiar.  It's been a while, hasn't it?]

Good afternoon, passengers!  Did you miss me?

[A pause for responses.]

GOOD!  Ha ha.  I see we have some new faces on board.

I'm Dr. Guy Mann, the resident therapist and "go-to guy".

[Another pause.]

Ha ha, sorry I couldn't resist.  Oh

Comments

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Needless to say, the big Autobot is... displeased... by this turn of events. Not to mention confused.]

What--!

What is this!

[crazyforcrazies]

[Guy smiles warmly from his comfy chair and gestures to the couch opposite him.]

Please, have a seat. Ah, don't worry, it's been reinforced.

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He glances at the couch, working optic narrowing. Did everyone hear about the stupid bed breaking?]

... I will stand. Who are you? What is the meaning of this?

[crazyforcrazies]

[Oh. Choosing to stand? Hmm, that's very telling.

Guy squints behind his reading glasses and scribbles a few notes before answering him.]

Buddy time. You know, just two buddies, shooting the breeze.

[He smiles.]

So tell me about yourself.

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He glowers at the human. What is he... doing?]

I am not... your companion. I do not even know you.

[Shifts in place.]

... Tell you what?

[crazyforcrazies]

[Making notes all about you, Ironhide. Guy pours himself a cup of tea.]

Then let's get to know each other. Start from the beginning, just tell me anything that comes to mind.

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Since he can't exactly make notes, he'll just watch your every move.]

Human, if I began at the "beginning", you would have died of old age before I was halfway finished.

Are we done?

[crazyforcrazies]

[Mmm, uncooperative. That's very bad, Ironhide.

More scribbling.]

We're done when I say we're done.

[He tilts his head and peers at the robot over his glasses.]

This will go a lot smoother if you cooperate.

[heavyweaponsbot]

I have nothing to say to you.

[Uncooperative may as well be his second designation. He folds his arms, stubbornly staring him down.]

And I am not afraid of a... what is the expression... rough ride. I will say nothing.

[crazyforcrazies]

[Oh dear. Guy takes off his glasses and folds them neatly, setting them down on the table on top of his clipboard with Ironhide's file on it. He's welcome to try and peek, but it's written in that awful handwriting that all doctors have, and is completely indecipherable.]

Now ah, Ironhide. I am sensing some animosity here.

Do we need to take things down a notch, hmm?

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Arms still folded, he squares his shoulders, bracing himself. The file is noted... and worrisome. But he tries to put it out of his processor for now.]

Your ability to grasp the obvious is... astounding. I do not want to be here, how do you expect me to react, hmm?

I do not know.

[crazyforcrazies]

[Pushing himself out of the comfy chair, Guy looks up at the large Autobot and spreads the fingers of both hands wide. He slowly begins to sway them back and forth.

It's a peculiar type of magic that even works on non-organics, and Ironhide should find himself growing relaxed, sleepy, almost sedated.]

Just relaaaaaax, let's bring this down a notch.

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He pulls back from that - automatic response to a stranger in his personal bubble.]

Get away from me. What are you--

[And his tense posture goes limp. He stays standing, mercifully, however. This... is a strange feeling...]

Hmn.

[crazyforcrazies]

[Perfect. Not too much, but enough to maybe get a little more cooperation.]

Better? Don't worry, it'll wear off eventually.

Now, where were we?

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He's certainly more mellow now, that much is obvious.]

Hmn... you... asked questions. Why...?

[crazyforcrazies]

[And Guy takes a seat again, lifting his tea cup.]

Because it is my job to help. Now, why don't you tell me about yourself? How was your life back on your home world?

[Siiiiiip.]