Slow Burn 2/2 (The A-Team - Movie - Circus!AU)
Title: Slow Burn (Movie-verse Circus!AU)
Rating: R
Warning: Homophobic language, child abuse, mental health issues, violence and sex.
Part One
#####
A year with The Burress Brothers’ Circus and all it took was just one brief look at the new annual route to send the tiny insulated world filled with the sounds of cheering crowds and the smells of popcorn and sickly sweet cotton candy tilting on its axis so swiftly that H.M. Murdock almost fell completely off.
2003 - Richmond, Texas
Murdock knew he should have run, weeks ago, the minute he saw the town’s name on the route. Had the chance and he hadn’t taken it. Just as he had started to put one foot in front of the other, Face had come bounding over, laughing about a ridiculous idea he’d gotten for Javi’s birthday.
The fire-eater had convinced himself that with his friends, Face around he could get through the week. As soon as the front tires of the Silverado hit the county line, though; the town with its aching familiarity started reaching out to drag him back.
He’d focused on Mabel when she asked for help with the elephants, Eduardo when he needed someone to feed the monkeys and not the memories that kept slipping in. Like when he was 12 and wound up on the bruising end of his Granddad’s belt, after the old man found him peeking out his window at the shirtless ranch hands in the yard below.
Murdock struggled the first day in town to try and lose himself in the circus’ hustle and bustle as people moved obliviously around the lot. As they got everything set up for what to them was just another stand.
By dinnertime though, even the air had started pressing down on Murdock and he’d made with a bullshit excuse that had Face looking at him funny. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get to the Airstream. Where everything in it let him know was who he was, the 30 year old fire-eater not the scared, unhappy, crazy kid, who may or may not have fallen into a bizarre time warp.
Once inside Murdock spent hours pacing back and forth, miles worn into the trailer’s narrow walkway while his mind worked the same erratic path. Just before the sky lightened he exhaustively dropped down onto the bed and into a fitful sleep, dreams full of sharp, shouting, unseen things.
#####
The sun was hot and bright the next morning as Murdock made his way towards Face’s trailer. He’d hoped that just by being around his friend it’d curb some of the spinning. Even just a little so he could get a better hold on the Tilt-A-Whirl before he lost his tenuous grasp completely.
He knocked on the door, fidgeting as he waited. When no answer came he started to knock a second time before hearing voices inside. And not ones that led to a very awkward interruption, like usual, but a harsh, angry whisper.
‘Something’s wrong.’ Alarm tingled at the base of Murdock’s skull as he twisted the handle, finding it locked. “Face?”
“Hey, buddy. I’m kinda busy.” The aerialist called back, his tone tight and awkward.
“I really need to talk to you.” The fire-eater insistently tapped on the door before trying the knob again.
“Murdock!” The shout edged with agitation. “We’ll talk later. It’s not a good...”
Murdock became aware of two things simultaneously. The grunt of pain that came along with the premature end of Face’s sentence and the door swinging opening just as he started to throw a shoulder against it. He stumbled forward before hands were dragging him fully into the trailer.
From his vantage point on the floor Murdock had a moment to appreciate that his own personal Gravitron had come to a screeching halt before he was being hauled onto his feet.
The fire-eater quickly took in the surroundings. Face was sitting on the couch in just a pair of running shorts and with a dark bruise coming up on his cheek to go along with the swelling of his right eye. Before Murdock could get his attention, the two men standing near the aerialist started arguing.
“You couldn’t just shut the fuck up.” The tall, balding man with an extreme beer belly growled at the skinny, scraggly toothed man beside him as he jerked his thumb at Murdock. “Now we gotta deal with this faggot as well.”
“Hey! Thanks a lot for blowing my cover. I’m usually real stealthy. Guys don’t know there’s a faggot in the room till I got my dick…”
The punch from Scraggly was swift and had Murdock spitting blood before the words even died on his lip.
Wiping his chin, the fire-eater looked in Face’s direction. The aerialist’s eyes were blown wide with panic as he mouthed, “What are you doing?”
‘What are you doing?’ Murdock gave an indifferent shrug even as his stomach tried to join the party on the outside.
“Shoulda just taken him out to the truck.” Beer-belly huffed.
“This is fucking stupid. Charlene’s a skank anyways.” Scraggly responded as more flying fists broke out.
Murdock glanced at Face as the aerialist slowly moved towards the edge of the couch, unnoticed as the two men continued with the shouts and blows.
“That’s my wife you’re calling a skank!” Beer-belly screamed; landing a punch against Scraggly’s jaw, knocking more teeth loose, Murdock was sure.
“She is! If she wasn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now!”
“What the hell were they...” As realization hit, Murdock nearly groaned. Face. When they got out of here he was giving the aerialist another black eye. But right now he silently urged his friend forward. With these morons fighting each other they could easily get the upper hand.
“Fuck this!” The jilted husband whipped around in Face’s direction, halting all of the aerialist’s movements when he cocked a pistol and put it against Face’s head. “Think you can just come through town, sleeping with people’s wives? Ain’t happening no more. It’ll be the last damned time.”
Ok, maybe not.
This was not happening. Fuck, he hated this place. Think, H.M., Think. He was not going to die in this town he’d tried so hard to get away from. This town…This town.
“WAIT! Stop! Stop! I’ve got money!” The words were out of Murdock’s mouth so fast he was as surprised as everyone else in the trailer.
“Bullshit.” Beer-belly eyed the fire-eater but didn’t move the gun away from Face.
“I do. I do. I just need to go to the bank.” Murdock felt bile creep up the back of his throat as Face sat, hand like vices against the side of the couch.
Beer-belly relaxed, gun lowering just a bit. “How much?”
Murdock didn’t even hesitate. “$90,000.”
“$90,000?”
A sharp, manic laugh escaped the fire-eater when Face’s voice was the loudest of the responding three.
“You’re lying.” Beer-belly swung the gun back into place, pressed it hard against Face’s temple. “Look how surprised your boyfriend here is.”
Murdock held out a calming hand even as the room started to slide slightly. “He didn’t know. But I swear. I can get it from the bank. You can have every single bit of it. Just let us go.”
“Hold up.” Scraggly looked at Murdock fully for the first time since dragging him into the trailer. “What’s your name?”
“Murdock.” Something about Scraggly’s beak-like nose and dirty blond hair was familiar but before he could get to it the man looked at his friend.
“He ain’t lying.” Scraggly verified. “His Granddaddy’s Milton Brown.”
Murdock’s eyes narrowed as recognition slid into place. “Jimmy fucking Wortham.”
“It figures your crazy ass would run off with a circus. I thought for sure you’d been locked away in some padded room in Meridian this whole time.” Wortham sneered.
‘Fuck this town.’ Murdock thought once more for good measure as a quick glance at Face showed his friend gaping with puzzlement.
“Jimmy, y’all can play catch up on the way to the bank.” Beer-belly put the gun away and yanked on Face’s arm. “Me and pretty boy’ll follow y’all in my truck.”
“No.” Murdock said and Beer-belly scoffed.
“You ain’t ordering no one around.”
Murdock shook his head. “Yes. I am. He ain’t riding with you. He can go with Jimmy. If you want the money you’re with me.”
The fire-eater stared unwaveringly as the other man backed down.
“Fuck you, faggot.” He growled, barreling out of the trailer.
#####
“Is this what folks in Richmond do for fun now? Threaten to kill trapeze artists. Damn, it’s probably best I left town. I was never really good with…” Murdock couldn’t stop his hands from shaking or his mouth from running off.
“Shut the fuck up and drive.” Beer-belly ordered as he stared at the rear view mirror.
Murdock glared at the man in the seat next to him before glancing in the mirror for himself. Making sure that beat up, multi-colored Ranger was still right behind them.
“Last damned time I’m ever touching Richmond soil.” Murdock muttered when they pulled up to the curb in front of the bank.
30 minutes of argument and frustration with the bank manager and Murdock walked out with a cashier’s check, feeling like he was in some bad Made for TV movie. He shoved the check into Beer-belly’s hand, where he leaned against the side of the truck.
“How do I know this ain’t some bullshit that’s gonna get me thrown in prison the minute I cash it?” He asked with distrust.
“Fair enough.” Murdock nodded, before looking at Face in the passenger seat. “But I don’t give two shits about that money. It’s been there for 8 years. You’re doing me a favor by taking it.” Murdock meant every word, good riddance.
Murdock opened the door and Face barely slid out before the other man shoved his way into the truck’s cab.
“I hate this place.” Murdock voiced aloud as the Ranger sped off. “Come on. Let’s go.” He reached out but Face shrugged him off and climbed into the Silverado.
“You ok?” The fire-eater took inventory of his friend’s injuries, black eye almost completely shut, his cheek swollen and bruised.
When Face didn’t answer he just started to drive.
There was a serious need for a discussion about the towns picked for the route. Screw Pike. He was going straight to the Burress Brothers themselves…if there really were Burress Brothers. Something most certainly needed to be done to avoid violent, redneck infested shitholes.
“Face…”
“Don’t. Just…” Before the truck could even be parked, the aerialist was out and to his trailer, leaving Murdock shaking behind the steering wheel.
They were alright. Face was alright. Right? What the hell just happened?
As much anxiety as he’d had about coming back to Richmond, this was not what Murdock had expected. Leave it to Face to make it interesting. Jesus Christ. All of this because…
What would have happened if he hadn’t gone to the trailer? If he didn’t have the money? If those two stupid assholes had decided putting bullets in them was more fun?
Instead of tapering off, the tremors increased as each scenario flashed in his mind. Until Murdock took off out of the truck in a flash.
“Do you ever think with anything besides your cock?” Murdock slammed the door open as he charged into the Scamp. “You almost got yourself killed! What if I hadn’t been…”
The fire-eater was only vaguely aware of the words coming out of his mouth. All he could see was red and Face standing by the sink, momentary shock on his features as Murdock barreled into him.
The surprise quickly wore off, though and Face responded, pushing Murdock back as he grabbed at his arms and shouted.
“I didn’t ask… I know…I fucked up…”
The Scamp was small but as they continued to shove and scream at each other in the narrow space it seemed even more so.
Murdock lashed out but Face dodged the punch before lunging forward, pinning the fire-eater to the bathroom door with a brutal collision of mouths.
‘What the fuck?’ Pain spiked from his split lip, giving Murdock a moment of clarity but then Face was desperately grasping at him and it was all that matter.
Savage and not at all what Murdock had ever envisioned, he let the anger and the adrenaline drive him against the other man. The hiss as his hand brushed against Face’s cheek, the coppery taste of his own blood on his tongue, all ignored in favor of bearing down into the friction caused by the aerialist’s leg between his thighs.
It stayed a vicious flurry of movement, Face’s hand in his hair, yanking Murdock back into the kiss every time he tried to take a breath. Blunt nails digging into Face’s thin material clad ass, trying to get him closer as broken, half formed words gave way to heated moans. Hands frantically tugging at clothes, satisfied only when bare skin was exposed.
Murdock didn’t care when all it took was Face’s callused hand barely wrapping around his cock to have him messily coming like some inexperienced teenager. Especially when the aerialist immediately braced his other hand on the door, pressing their bodies tighter as he animalistically rutted against the fire-eater’s lean frame until he shuddered with his own climax.
Minutes passed where only the sound was their ragged breathing as the pair slumped, tangled together against the door.
“So? Do you fuck everyone like that or is it something you save for special occasions? You know, Hurray! We still have our brain pans!” Murdock broke the silence with a pointed laugh but the aerialist didn't answer, just continued to pant hot and damp across his shoulder.
“Face?” The fire-eater ran fingers through the other man’s thick, sweaty hair. “If this is gonna be all weird and wonky, I’m gonna need a few more minutes before ya’ kick me out. My legs are jello and your awesome upper body strength is all that’s keeping me upright.”
Face snapped to at that, moving away enough that true to his word Murdock slipped just a bit down the door. “Fuck it.” He snorted, before letting himself slide the rest of the way. Not caring how absolute ridiculous he looked. Sweaty, sticky and completely fucked out with his shorts around his knees. If anyone deserved it, it was most definitely H.M. Murdock.
“What is wrong with you?” Face asked, at a loss.
The fire-eater hated the way the question sounded coming from his friend’s mouth.
Murdock sighed and started tugging his shorts up over slim hips. “If you wanna list you might need to pull up a piece of floor for awhile, Faceman.”
To his surprise the aerialist did, situating his own clothes before dropping down next to him. Shocked even more when Face looked at him, blue eyes full of racing emotions.
All but tenderness fell away when Face reached out and ran a thumb over the fire-eater’s split lip. “You ok?”
“Physically or mentally?” Murdock asked with a flippant wag of eyebrows.
“H.M.” Face chided.
“I think I’m getting there.”
Face frowned and that voice in the back of Murdock’s brain shouted, ‘Told you so.’ even as he tried to push it away. “Sorry, Faceman.”
“What? What are you talking about?" The aerialist gripped Murdock's arm tight." I don’t ever want to hear those words out of your mouth again. I'm sorry. I’m the one that fucked up. Me. Only me. If it wasn’t for you...” Face surged forward with a kiss, warmth and affection replacing the ferocity of before.
Gentle glide of tongues and soft sighs whenever they briefly parted for breath continued until the easy give and take was broken by an off-kilter snicker.
“Was she hot? Please, tell me she was worth $90k.”
Unable to speak, Face just stared dumbfounded as Murdock grinned at him.
“Oh god. Was it the bearded lady? Was she your creepiest lay?” The fire-eater groaned.
“Shut up. Shut up.” Face ordered as he dipped back in, bringing them together once more.
After they'd sat for what felt like hours on the floor, with neither saying much, Face stood and pulled Murdock with him to the bed. The aerialist, open and inquisitive had nuzzled close.
“Tell me, please.”
And Murdock had surprised himself by how effortlessly he’d answered.
He always talked non-stop, but never discussed his life growing up, with anyone. He’d gone out of his way to do the complete opposite Making sure to be surrounded by people who didn’t want to know.
But lying there with Face asking, Murdock left nothing unturned.
His Grandparents, the time spent in the hospital, all of it. He’d talked. Shakes accompanied certain parts but he’d kept on as the long fingers carding through his hair chased them away.
When Murdock had come to the end, the story catching up to where they were now, Face had taken over. With the soft slide of tongue across skin, the tight grip of fingers on hipbones. Pleasured exclamations and sated sighs the only things left to be voiced.
#####
Murdock jerked awake, disorientated by unfamiliar surroundings. He had a moment of panic, the room spinning until the weight across his back shifted and breath huffed against his neck.
Face.
Murdock shamelessly burrowed against the solid warmth of the aerialist’s body, even as Face’s arm wrapped around and pulled him closer.
This was good.
No, this was awesome.
Finally seeing that here, the circus was where he was supposed to be. Home. And that it was worth fighting to keep.
The weight he’d carried most of his life, of being screwed up and never good enough, gone as soon as that check was out of his hands.
Granted, he would have liked to have experienced less violence induced realizations, but what can you do?
And Face...
"We should have done that sooner." He'd said earlier, fingers tracing the length of Murdock's spine as they'd laid dozing. Morning light just beginning to filter in through the Scamp's tinted windows.
The fire-eater's first instinct had been to make a stupid joke as he rolled over. But then he'd seen the way the aerialist's face had lit up with that grin. The one only ever directed at him with such intensity.
Murdock had only been able to respond in kind before pulling Face back down to body warmed sheets.
His stomach growled, loudly demanding food, causing Face to chuckle.
“Damn, buddy, when’s the last time you ate?” The aerialist pulled back and Murdock couldn’t hide his wince.
“Yeahhh, it hurts like a son of a bitch.” Face gingerly pressed fingers against the swelling.
“You’re still beautiful to me!” Murdock sobbed dramatically, leaning in as Face laughed.
“What are you gonna do? There ain't no way you’re flying with that eye.” Murdock asked but Face just shrugged.
“Don’t know. But let’s get food first. I’m going to need all my strength for when I show Ray.”
#####
Murdock couldn’t have asked for a better Opening Night.
He grinned and laughed as he shotgunned a torch. People clapping as the fire crawled down his arm toward its unlit destination. Verses of Ring of Fire and Light My Fire mirthfully sung between fire resting on his tongue and being dragged over shoulders.
The smile growing even more as Face handed Murdock wetted cloths or torches. The grounded aerialist, made an excellent assistant, even if he’d lose him back to the air of the trapeze once his eye healed.
Murdock had fire running up his bare torso when the crowd shifted and he thought he saw a familiar face.
Shaking it off, he moved ahead, passing his arm through the fire. His hand catching the flame wrong when the vague glimpse became more solidified and sent his heart pounding.
The crowd gasped as he jerked the torch away, barely keeping in the cursed shout. Face was up quickly, extinguishing the fire while Murdock bowed and made a hasty exit.
“Lemme see.” Face caught up, stopping the fire-eater's retreat beside the Big Top.
"It's fine." Murdock hissed as the aerialist took his hand. Tried to focus on the sound of the people filing inside the tent instead of his palm's pulsing burn.
"H.M.?" A voice shouted and Face looked up in confusion.
It just had to be one more thing, right?
Murdock didn't have time to explain before a short, older woman, dark hair streaked with gray came around the corner.
"Did you hurt yourself?" She asked with concern even as she kept her distance.
The question, as if she just saw him yesterday not over eight years ago, pulled a high-pitched, uncomfortable giggle from the fire-eater. Then Face's hand was warm against his elbow and Murdock was thankful for the steady weight.
"I'm ok, Bernice." His acknowledgment had her moving closer.
"How long have you been in town?"
"Just a couple days." Murdock waited anxiously, knowing what was coming next before she even spoke. His hand really hurt but like pulling off a band aid this needed to be done quick so there'd be less pain.
"Why didn't you come home?" She pleaded, as she held back tears.
"Because..." Murdock sighed. "I just couldn't. It's been too long."
"That's never true when it comes to family. I know you and Daddy never got along. He just... he didn't understand." Her eyes shined bright. "You still shoulda been there. He was your Granddaddy."
Family. Murdock tamped down a bitter laugh as Face suddenly leaned close and whispered.
"We can go, if you want."
For a brief second he wanted that. To turn and go. Not do this right here in the through-way, not do this at all.
But then he shook his head and met his Aunt's gaze straight on. "Bernice, I'm sorry for not letting you know I was alright. But I'm not sorry for not coming back. It ain't and never was home after Gramma died."
Despite Face beside him, Murdock started shaking but didn't stop talking. "It was easier for Granddad to ship me off then try and figure out what I needed. And I can tell you for certain, it wasn't two years of ECTs that took memories of Gramma I'll never get back."
His aunt stood in front of him, hand at her mouth unable to contain a sob that brought Murdock to a sudden halt.
She didn't do this.
Didn't deserve the anger he'd spent all that time running from. Never facing it. Instead, doing the exact same thing his Granddad did.
"Bernice." Murdock said softly, reaching out before his Aunt moved forward, wrapping her arms around him.
"I'm sorry I never did anything to stop Daddy from treating you like he did. I'm sorry all I did was throw money at you, hoping it'd somehow help." She cried, her hold on her nephew so fierce that the tremors wracking her body overtook his own.
Paying no attention to the performers moving passed, Murdock murmured and rocked her gently. "Shh. It's ok. We're ok." And it was... or would be eventually.
The money.
"The bank called you, didn't they?" Murdock asked abruptly and Bernice looked at him puzzled. Until she seemed to catch up with his slippery shift in thought.
"This morning. Shocked me something fierce when they told me it was a local withdrawal." She wiped her face. "You ain't never touched that money. I knew it had to be important."
Murdock turned and saw Face had moved farther down the walkway to give them privacy. "Yeah, it was." He said, hugging his aunt tight.
Maybe it'd be a good thing to keep Richmond on the route, afterall.
#####
6 months later - Chicago, Illinois
“Hey wanna come watch the rider Javi and Paolo are trying out?” Murdock smiled as Face leaned against the Scamp’s door frame. “Javi said he’s got a real bad attitude but rides better than anyone he’s ever seen.”
“Sure.” Face agreed as he started down the stairs. “What’s his name?”
“Bosco.” Murdock hummed as the aerialist slid an arm around his shoulder.
“Bosco?” Face chuckled. “What kind of name is that?”
“You’re one to talk, Templeton.”
“My name didn’t seem to be a problem when you were screaming it last night.” Face smirked and the fire-eater looked up at him scandalized.
“Are you calling my virtue into question in this public square?” Murdock gasped, feigning the offended damsel as he tried not too hard to get out of his friend’s grasp.
“Bud, I’m pretty sure there’s no question...that it’s gone. You’re loud.” Face's hold tightened as he placed a kiss into the fire-eater’s shaggy hair. “Come on. Let’s go see what Bad Attitude Bosco’s got.”
______
Back Yard - The area behind the big top where props, animals, and performers are readied for a circus performance, and where housing trailers are parked away from public view.
Cook Shack - The place where personnel eat, not open to the public.
Aba-daba - Any dessert served in the cook shack.
Cats - Lions, tigers, leopards, panthers.
Arena - The large cage in which big-cat acts are performed.
Mud Show - A smaller tent circus playing rural areas.
Pops - small fireballs, usually multiple in one fill.
Dog and Pony Show - A dismissive term for a very small circus.
Gilly (Gilly girl) - Anyone not connected with the circus, an outsider or towner.
Paraffin - "Ultra pure clear unscented lamp oil" recommended fuel to use for fire breathing.
Shotgun - lighting a trail of fuel on the body to light and unlit fire torch.
Slow burn - Very slowly dragging a lit fire torch on the skin
Rating: R
Warning: Homophobic language, child abuse, mental health issues, violence and sex.
Part One
#####
A year with The Burress Brothers’ Circus and all it took was just one brief look at the new annual route to send the tiny insulated world filled with the sounds of cheering crowds and the smells of popcorn and sickly sweet cotton candy tilting on its axis so swiftly that H.M. Murdock almost fell completely off.
2003 - Richmond, Texas
Murdock knew he should have run, weeks ago, the minute he saw the town’s name on the route. Had the chance and he hadn’t taken it. Just as he had started to put one foot in front of the other, Face had come bounding over, laughing about a ridiculous idea he’d gotten for Javi’s birthday.
The fire-eater had convinced himself that with his friends, Face around he could get through the week. As soon as the front tires of the Silverado hit the county line, though; the town with its aching familiarity started reaching out to drag him back.
He’d focused on Mabel when she asked for help with the elephants, Eduardo when he needed someone to feed the monkeys and not the memories that kept slipping in. Like when he was 12 and wound up on the bruising end of his Granddad’s belt, after the old man found him peeking out his window at the shirtless ranch hands in the yard below.
Murdock struggled the first day in town to try and lose himself in the circus’ hustle and bustle as people moved obliviously around the lot. As they got everything set up for what to them was just another stand.
By dinnertime though, even the air had started pressing down on Murdock and he’d made with a bullshit excuse that had Face looking at him funny. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get to the Airstream. Where everything in it let him know was who he was, the 30 year old fire-eater not the scared, unhappy, crazy kid, who may or may not have fallen into a bizarre time warp.
Once inside Murdock spent hours pacing back and forth, miles worn into the trailer’s narrow walkway while his mind worked the same erratic path. Just before the sky lightened he exhaustively dropped down onto the bed and into a fitful sleep, dreams full of sharp, shouting, unseen things.
#####
The sun was hot and bright the next morning as Murdock made his way towards Face’s trailer. He’d hoped that just by being around his friend it’d curb some of the spinning. Even just a little so he could get a better hold on the Tilt-A-Whirl before he lost his tenuous grasp completely.
He knocked on the door, fidgeting as he waited. When no answer came he started to knock a second time before hearing voices inside. And not ones that led to a very awkward interruption, like usual, but a harsh, angry whisper.
‘Something’s wrong.’ Alarm tingled at the base of Murdock’s skull as he twisted the handle, finding it locked. “Face?”
“Hey, buddy. I’m kinda busy.” The aerialist called back, his tone tight and awkward.
“I really need to talk to you.” The fire-eater insistently tapped on the door before trying the knob again.
“Murdock!” The shout edged with agitation. “We’ll talk later. It’s not a good...”
Murdock became aware of two things simultaneously. The grunt of pain that came along with the premature end of Face’s sentence and the door swinging opening just as he started to throw a shoulder against it. He stumbled forward before hands were dragging him fully into the trailer.
From his vantage point on the floor Murdock had a moment to appreciate that his own personal Gravitron had come to a screeching halt before he was being hauled onto his feet.
The fire-eater quickly took in the surroundings. Face was sitting on the couch in just a pair of running shorts and with a dark bruise coming up on his cheek to go along with the swelling of his right eye. Before Murdock could get his attention, the two men standing near the aerialist started arguing.
“You couldn’t just shut the fuck up.” The tall, balding man with an extreme beer belly growled at the skinny, scraggly toothed man beside him as he jerked his thumb at Murdock. “Now we gotta deal with this faggot as well.”
“Hey! Thanks a lot for blowing my cover. I’m usually real stealthy. Guys don’t know there’s a faggot in the room till I got my dick…”
The punch from Scraggly was swift and had Murdock spitting blood before the words even died on his lip.
Wiping his chin, the fire-eater looked in Face’s direction. The aerialist’s eyes were blown wide with panic as he mouthed, “What are you doing?”
‘What are you doing?’ Murdock gave an indifferent shrug even as his stomach tried to join the party on the outside.
“Shoulda just taken him out to the truck.” Beer-belly huffed.
“This is fucking stupid. Charlene’s a skank anyways.” Scraggly responded as more flying fists broke out.
Murdock glanced at Face as the aerialist slowly moved towards the edge of the couch, unnoticed as the two men continued with the shouts and blows.
“That’s my wife you’re calling a skank!” Beer-belly screamed; landing a punch against Scraggly’s jaw, knocking more teeth loose, Murdock was sure.
“She is! If she wasn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now!”
“What the hell were they...” As realization hit, Murdock nearly groaned. Face. When they got out of here he was giving the aerialist another black eye. But right now he silently urged his friend forward. With these morons fighting each other they could easily get the upper hand.
“Fuck this!” The jilted husband whipped around in Face’s direction, halting all of the aerialist’s movements when he cocked a pistol and put it against Face’s head. “Think you can just come through town, sleeping with people’s wives? Ain’t happening no more. It’ll be the last damned time.”
Ok, maybe not.
This was not happening. Fuck, he hated this place. Think, H.M., Think. He was not going to die in this town he’d tried so hard to get away from. This town…This town.
“WAIT! Stop! Stop! I’ve got money!” The words were out of Murdock’s mouth so fast he was as surprised as everyone else in the trailer.
“Bullshit.” Beer-belly eyed the fire-eater but didn’t move the gun away from Face.
“I do. I do. I just need to go to the bank.” Murdock felt bile creep up the back of his throat as Face sat, hand like vices against the side of the couch.
Beer-belly relaxed, gun lowering just a bit. “How much?”
Murdock didn’t even hesitate. “$90,000.”
“$90,000?”
A sharp, manic laugh escaped the fire-eater when Face’s voice was the loudest of the responding three.
“You’re lying.” Beer-belly swung the gun back into place, pressed it hard against Face’s temple. “Look how surprised your boyfriend here is.”
Murdock held out a calming hand even as the room started to slide slightly. “He didn’t know. But I swear. I can get it from the bank. You can have every single bit of it. Just let us go.”
“Hold up.” Scraggly looked at Murdock fully for the first time since dragging him into the trailer. “What’s your name?”
“Murdock.” Something about Scraggly’s beak-like nose and dirty blond hair was familiar but before he could get to it the man looked at his friend.
“He ain’t lying.” Scraggly verified. “His Granddaddy’s Milton Brown.”
Murdock’s eyes narrowed as recognition slid into place. “Jimmy fucking Wortham.”
“It figures your crazy ass would run off with a circus. I thought for sure you’d been locked away in some padded room in Meridian this whole time.” Wortham sneered.
‘Fuck this town.’ Murdock thought once more for good measure as a quick glance at Face showed his friend gaping with puzzlement.
“Jimmy, y’all can play catch up on the way to the bank.” Beer-belly put the gun away and yanked on Face’s arm. “Me and pretty boy’ll follow y’all in my truck.”
“No.” Murdock said and Beer-belly scoffed.
“You ain’t ordering no one around.”
Murdock shook his head. “Yes. I am. He ain’t riding with you. He can go with Jimmy. If you want the money you’re with me.”
The fire-eater stared unwaveringly as the other man backed down.
“Fuck you, faggot.” He growled, barreling out of the trailer.
#####
“Is this what folks in Richmond do for fun now? Threaten to kill trapeze artists. Damn, it’s probably best I left town. I was never really good with…” Murdock couldn’t stop his hands from shaking or his mouth from running off.
“Shut the fuck up and drive.” Beer-belly ordered as he stared at the rear view mirror.
Murdock glared at the man in the seat next to him before glancing in the mirror for himself. Making sure that beat up, multi-colored Ranger was still right behind them.
“Last damned time I’m ever touching Richmond soil.” Murdock muttered when they pulled up to the curb in front of the bank.
30 minutes of argument and frustration with the bank manager and Murdock walked out with a cashier’s check, feeling like he was in some bad Made for TV movie. He shoved the check into Beer-belly’s hand, where he leaned against the side of the truck.
“How do I know this ain’t some bullshit that’s gonna get me thrown in prison the minute I cash it?” He asked with distrust.
“Fair enough.” Murdock nodded, before looking at Face in the passenger seat. “But I don’t give two shits about that money. It’s been there for 8 years. You’re doing me a favor by taking it.” Murdock meant every word, good riddance.
Murdock opened the door and Face barely slid out before the other man shoved his way into the truck’s cab.
“I hate this place.” Murdock voiced aloud as the Ranger sped off. “Come on. Let’s go.” He reached out but Face shrugged him off and climbed into the Silverado.
“You ok?” The fire-eater took inventory of his friend’s injuries, black eye almost completely shut, his cheek swollen and bruised.
When Face didn’t answer he just started to drive.
There was a serious need for a discussion about the towns picked for the route. Screw Pike. He was going straight to the Burress Brothers themselves…if there really were Burress Brothers. Something most certainly needed to be done to avoid violent, redneck infested shitholes.
“Face…”
“Don’t. Just…” Before the truck could even be parked, the aerialist was out and to his trailer, leaving Murdock shaking behind the steering wheel.
They were alright. Face was alright. Right? What the hell just happened?
As much anxiety as he’d had about coming back to Richmond, this was not what Murdock had expected. Leave it to Face to make it interesting. Jesus Christ. All of this because…
What would have happened if he hadn’t gone to the trailer? If he didn’t have the money? If those two stupid assholes had decided putting bullets in them was more fun?
Instead of tapering off, the tremors increased as each scenario flashed in his mind. Until Murdock took off out of the truck in a flash.
“Do you ever think with anything besides your cock?” Murdock slammed the door open as he charged into the Scamp. “You almost got yourself killed! What if I hadn’t been…”
The fire-eater was only vaguely aware of the words coming out of his mouth. All he could see was red and Face standing by the sink, momentary shock on his features as Murdock barreled into him.
The surprise quickly wore off, though and Face responded, pushing Murdock back as he grabbed at his arms and shouted.
“I didn’t ask… I know…I fucked up…”
The Scamp was small but as they continued to shove and scream at each other in the narrow space it seemed even more so.
Murdock lashed out but Face dodged the punch before lunging forward, pinning the fire-eater to the bathroom door with a brutal collision of mouths.
‘What the fuck?’ Pain spiked from his split lip, giving Murdock a moment of clarity but then Face was desperately grasping at him and it was all that matter.
Savage and not at all what Murdock had ever envisioned, he let the anger and the adrenaline drive him against the other man. The hiss as his hand brushed against Face’s cheek, the coppery taste of his own blood on his tongue, all ignored in favor of bearing down into the friction caused by the aerialist’s leg between his thighs.
It stayed a vicious flurry of movement, Face’s hand in his hair, yanking Murdock back into the kiss every time he tried to take a breath. Blunt nails digging into Face’s thin material clad ass, trying to get him closer as broken, half formed words gave way to heated moans. Hands frantically tugging at clothes, satisfied only when bare skin was exposed.
Murdock didn’t care when all it took was Face’s callused hand barely wrapping around his cock to have him messily coming like some inexperienced teenager. Especially when the aerialist immediately braced his other hand on the door, pressing their bodies tighter as he animalistically rutted against the fire-eater’s lean frame until he shuddered with his own climax.
Minutes passed where only the sound was their ragged breathing as the pair slumped, tangled together against the door.
“So? Do you fuck everyone like that or is it something you save for special occasions? You know, Hurray! We still have our brain pans!” Murdock broke the silence with a pointed laugh but the aerialist didn't answer, just continued to pant hot and damp across his shoulder.
“Face?” The fire-eater ran fingers through the other man’s thick, sweaty hair. “If this is gonna be all weird and wonky, I’m gonna need a few more minutes before ya’ kick me out. My legs are jello and your awesome upper body strength is all that’s keeping me upright.”
Face snapped to at that, moving away enough that true to his word Murdock slipped just a bit down the door. “Fuck it.” He snorted, before letting himself slide the rest of the way. Not caring how absolute ridiculous he looked. Sweaty, sticky and completely fucked out with his shorts around his knees. If anyone deserved it, it was most definitely H.M. Murdock.
“What is wrong with you?” Face asked, at a loss.
The fire-eater hated the way the question sounded coming from his friend’s mouth.
Murdock sighed and started tugging his shorts up over slim hips. “If you wanna list you might need to pull up a piece of floor for awhile, Faceman.”
To his surprise the aerialist did, situating his own clothes before dropping down next to him. Shocked even more when Face looked at him, blue eyes full of racing emotions.
All but tenderness fell away when Face reached out and ran a thumb over the fire-eater’s split lip. “You ok?”
“Physically or mentally?” Murdock asked with a flippant wag of eyebrows.
“H.M.” Face chided.
“I think I’m getting there.”
Face frowned and that voice in the back of Murdock’s brain shouted, ‘Told you so.’ even as he tried to push it away. “Sorry, Faceman.”
“What? What are you talking about?" The aerialist gripped Murdock's arm tight." I don’t ever want to hear those words out of your mouth again. I'm sorry. I’m the one that fucked up. Me. Only me. If it wasn’t for you...” Face surged forward with a kiss, warmth and affection replacing the ferocity of before.
Gentle glide of tongues and soft sighs whenever they briefly parted for breath continued until the easy give and take was broken by an off-kilter snicker.
“Was she hot? Please, tell me she was worth $90k.”
Unable to speak, Face just stared dumbfounded as Murdock grinned at him.
“Oh god. Was it the bearded lady? Was she your creepiest lay?” The fire-eater groaned.
“Shut up. Shut up.” Face ordered as he dipped back in, bringing them together once more.
After they'd sat for what felt like hours on the floor, with neither saying much, Face stood and pulled Murdock with him to the bed. The aerialist, open and inquisitive had nuzzled close.
“Tell me, please.”
And Murdock had surprised himself by how effortlessly he’d answered.
He always talked non-stop, but never discussed his life growing up, with anyone. He’d gone out of his way to do the complete opposite Making sure to be surrounded by people who didn’t want to know.
But lying there with Face asking, Murdock left nothing unturned.
His Grandparents, the time spent in the hospital, all of it. He’d talked. Shakes accompanied certain parts but he’d kept on as the long fingers carding through his hair chased them away.
When Murdock had come to the end, the story catching up to where they were now, Face had taken over. With the soft slide of tongue across skin, the tight grip of fingers on hipbones. Pleasured exclamations and sated sighs the only things left to be voiced.
#####
Murdock jerked awake, disorientated by unfamiliar surroundings. He had a moment of panic, the room spinning until the weight across his back shifted and breath huffed against his neck.
Face.
Murdock shamelessly burrowed against the solid warmth of the aerialist’s body, even as Face’s arm wrapped around and pulled him closer.
This was good.
No, this was awesome.
Finally seeing that here, the circus was where he was supposed to be. Home. And that it was worth fighting to keep.
The weight he’d carried most of his life, of being screwed up and never good enough, gone as soon as that check was out of his hands.
Granted, he would have liked to have experienced less violence induced realizations, but what can you do?
And Face...
"We should have done that sooner." He'd said earlier, fingers tracing the length of Murdock's spine as they'd laid dozing. Morning light just beginning to filter in through the Scamp's tinted windows.
The fire-eater's first instinct had been to make a stupid joke as he rolled over. But then he'd seen the way the aerialist's face had lit up with that grin. The one only ever directed at him with such intensity.
Murdock had only been able to respond in kind before pulling Face back down to body warmed sheets.
His stomach growled, loudly demanding food, causing Face to chuckle.
“Damn, buddy, when’s the last time you ate?” The aerialist pulled back and Murdock couldn’t hide his wince.
“Yeahhh, it hurts like a son of a bitch.” Face gingerly pressed fingers against the swelling.
“You’re still beautiful to me!” Murdock sobbed dramatically, leaning in as Face laughed.
“What are you gonna do? There ain't no way you’re flying with that eye.” Murdock asked but Face just shrugged.
“Don’t know. But let’s get food first. I’m going to need all my strength for when I show Ray.”
#####
Murdock couldn’t have asked for a better Opening Night.
He grinned and laughed as he shotgunned a torch. People clapping as the fire crawled down his arm toward its unlit destination. Verses of Ring of Fire and Light My Fire mirthfully sung between fire resting on his tongue and being dragged over shoulders.
The smile growing even more as Face handed Murdock wetted cloths or torches. The grounded aerialist, made an excellent assistant, even if he’d lose him back to the air of the trapeze once his eye healed.
Murdock had fire running up his bare torso when the crowd shifted and he thought he saw a familiar face.
Shaking it off, he moved ahead, passing his arm through the fire. His hand catching the flame wrong when the vague glimpse became more solidified and sent his heart pounding.
The crowd gasped as he jerked the torch away, barely keeping in the cursed shout. Face was up quickly, extinguishing the fire while Murdock bowed and made a hasty exit.
“Lemme see.” Face caught up, stopping the fire-eater's retreat beside the Big Top.
"It's fine." Murdock hissed as the aerialist took his hand. Tried to focus on the sound of the people filing inside the tent instead of his palm's pulsing burn.
"H.M.?" A voice shouted and Face looked up in confusion.
It just had to be one more thing, right?
Murdock didn't have time to explain before a short, older woman, dark hair streaked with gray came around the corner.
"Did you hurt yourself?" She asked with concern even as she kept her distance.
The question, as if she just saw him yesterday not over eight years ago, pulled a high-pitched, uncomfortable giggle from the fire-eater. Then Face's hand was warm against his elbow and Murdock was thankful for the steady weight.
"I'm ok, Bernice." His acknowledgment had her moving closer.
"How long have you been in town?"
"Just a couple days." Murdock waited anxiously, knowing what was coming next before she even spoke. His hand really hurt but like pulling off a band aid this needed to be done quick so there'd be less pain.
"Why didn't you come home?" She pleaded, as she held back tears.
"Because..." Murdock sighed. "I just couldn't. It's been too long."
"That's never true when it comes to family. I know you and Daddy never got along. He just... he didn't understand." Her eyes shined bright. "You still shoulda been there. He was your Granddaddy."
Family. Murdock tamped down a bitter laugh as Face suddenly leaned close and whispered.
"We can go, if you want."
For a brief second he wanted that. To turn and go. Not do this right here in the through-way, not do this at all.
But then he shook his head and met his Aunt's gaze straight on. "Bernice, I'm sorry for not letting you know I was alright. But I'm not sorry for not coming back. It ain't and never was home after Gramma died."
Despite Face beside him, Murdock started shaking but didn't stop talking. "It was easier for Granddad to ship me off then try and figure out what I needed. And I can tell you for certain, it wasn't two years of ECTs that took memories of Gramma I'll never get back."
His aunt stood in front of him, hand at her mouth unable to contain a sob that brought Murdock to a sudden halt.
She didn't do this.
Didn't deserve the anger he'd spent all that time running from. Never facing it. Instead, doing the exact same thing his Granddad did.
"Bernice." Murdock said softly, reaching out before his Aunt moved forward, wrapping her arms around him.
"I'm sorry I never did anything to stop Daddy from treating you like he did. I'm sorry all I did was throw money at you, hoping it'd somehow help." She cried, her hold on her nephew so fierce that the tremors wracking her body overtook his own.
Paying no attention to the performers moving passed, Murdock murmured and rocked her gently. "Shh. It's ok. We're ok." And it was... or would be eventually.
The money.
"The bank called you, didn't they?" Murdock asked abruptly and Bernice looked at him puzzled. Until she seemed to catch up with his slippery shift in thought.
"This morning. Shocked me something fierce when they told me it was a local withdrawal." She wiped her face. "You ain't never touched that money. I knew it had to be important."
Murdock turned and saw Face had moved farther down the walkway to give them privacy. "Yeah, it was." He said, hugging his aunt tight.
Maybe it'd be a good thing to keep Richmond on the route, afterall.
#####
6 months later - Chicago, Illinois
“Hey wanna come watch the rider Javi and Paolo are trying out?” Murdock smiled as Face leaned against the Scamp’s door frame. “Javi said he’s got a real bad attitude but rides better than anyone he’s ever seen.”
“Sure.” Face agreed as he started down the stairs. “What’s his name?”
“Bosco.” Murdock hummed as the aerialist slid an arm around his shoulder.
“Bosco?” Face chuckled. “What kind of name is that?”
“You’re one to talk, Templeton.”
“My name didn’t seem to be a problem when you were screaming it last night.” Face smirked and the fire-eater looked up at him scandalized.
“Are you calling my virtue into question in this public square?” Murdock gasped, feigning the offended damsel as he tried not too hard to get out of his friend’s grasp.
“Bud, I’m pretty sure there’s no question...that it’s gone. You’re loud.” Face's hold tightened as he placed a kiss into the fire-eater’s shaggy hair. “Come on. Let’s go see what Bad Attitude Bosco’s got.”
______
Back Yard - The area behind the big top where props, animals, and performers are readied for a circus performance, and where housing trailers are parked away from public view.
Cook Shack - The place where personnel eat, not open to the public.
Aba-daba - Any dessert served in the cook shack.
Cats - Lions, tigers, leopards, panthers.
Arena - The large cage in which big-cat acts are performed.
Mud Show - A smaller tent circus playing rural areas.
Pops - small fireballs, usually multiple in one fill.
Dog and Pony Show - A dismissive term for a very small circus.
Gilly (Gilly girl) - Anyone not connected with the circus, an outsider or towner.
Paraffin - "Ultra pure clear unscented lamp oil" recommended fuel to use for fire breathing.
Shotgun - lighting a trail of fuel on the body to light and unlit fire torch.
Slow burn - Very slowly dragging a lit fire torch on the skin