(no subject)

[crazyfool27]

i miss him.. miss seeing his face.. miss talkin to him. atleast when he was away i had a reason that i couldnt talk to him.. and now there isnt one and i want to talk to him so badly.. i just wanna give in and be like fuck it.. lets play all your stupid mind games again.. i dont care... even if it did hurt me more than make me happy.. atleast for a little while i was happy.. i havent been completely happy in so long.. i want to be happy.. more than anything i want to be happy.. i want to be able to smile and actually mean it.. i dont know how he does it.. just play with my mind and not care how i feel or how it will make me feel.. ive given him more than enough chances to prove himself to me.. but he never has and never will.. its like i always have to prove myself to him.. and at one point i did mess up and did have to prove myself and how i felt.. but after that or before that there was no need for it.. yet i always gave in and gave him what he wanted.. he was my life and my life is crashing down infront of me.. everything is going.. it seems like nothing is going my way.. i dont know what to do..

*I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore,
Before you take a swing, I wonder what are we fighting for,
When I say out loud, I want to get out of this, I wonder,
Is there anything I'm going to miss, I wonder
How's it going to be, When you don't know me,
How's it going to be, When you're sure I'm not there,
How's it going to be, When there is no one there to talk to,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care*