Ode to my addictions
So now that I have oodles of more time on my hands, I guess I will be updating this thing more than once a year. Lets see...what will I want to look back on and read in 5 more months when I finlly look at this again...
Ok....So today is January 7th. I am officially 6 days ciggarette free. Woohooo.
I thought that I was going to cave in last night and steal a smoke from John...but I didn't. I think the only real reason why I was going to cave was I was a bit buzzed off the 3 beers that I drank. I had absolutely no intentions of drinking at all, but after such a horrendous night at work, it just didn't sound half bad.. plus of course I had Scott there, who is a horrible influence on me. I told him that I couldn't drink until I was 21 days ciggarette free...but he just didn't take no for an answer. Although I might add that it was pretty cute that he left his smokes in the car so that he would not be tempted to smoke in front of me. Very nice my friend...very nice. Too bad nobody else did.
Anyhow...ok. so...6 days...no smokes.
It amazes me at the psychological impact that smoking causes. It seems that I think about it every minute of the day. If it wasn't for the 15 packs of gum that I bought...I think I would have chewed my lip off with all my nervous tension.
this morning I had a killer headache. I know it could not have been from those 3 stupid beers, cause I never ever have gotten a hangover from 3 beers. so it must be from the lack of nicotine in my system. Screwed my day all up though. I woke up to pee at 7 am, and realized my head was throbbing. Took some aspirin, and drank a butt load of water but it just didnt help.
I tossed and turned for hours, before realizing that the headache wasn't going to go away, and that there was no way I would make it to church this morning.
So finally, by 9 or so...I passed out, and didnt wake up till almost noon. Which fucked my shit up cause I was supposed to meet with Marianne at 1 for our pre-teachers meeting to go over the new material for First Defense.
Speaking of First Defense.
I am a little worried about what this next semester will bring.
My school schedule does not seem to be horribly overloaded.
Economics Mon and Wed. morning.
Intro. to Education Wed night,
and Teaching Diverse populations Thurs. night.
but Tues, which I specifically planned to not have school so I could teach looks like it will kill me before the school year is up.
All the Tuesday volunteers have quit, which just leaves me, Michelle, and Marianne.
So it appears that I will be teaching every Tuesday, from 10ish to 3ish, and then straight to work from 4 to midnight...only to wake up early for class Wed. morning.
I don't know how that is going to work.
I am a little nervous that I am going to get severly burnt out, and not be able to follow through with the schedule. I can NOT let my grades slip this semester. I HAVE to make straight A's in order to raise my GPA up to 3.5 I dont think it will be that hard, considering I have a 3.3 right now...but still.
I know that after teaching 5 hours...I'm damn tired. And the last thing I am going to want to do is wait tables for 8 hours, after standing in front of a class full of 9th graders for 5 hours.
Fuck.
No....I know I can do this...it will be difficult. But certainly not as difficult as quitting smoking.
I hope.
Shit...Its 2 am.
I have class in the morning.
And then after class...I gotta get my ass to Wickham to run off the damn Deep dish sundae I ate tonight. I feel like a porker. And I refuse to let my quitting smoking an excuse to gain any more weight.
So...until then....
Ok....So today is January 7th. I am officially 6 days ciggarette free. Woohooo.
I thought that I was going to cave in last night and steal a smoke from John...but I didn't. I think the only real reason why I was going to cave was I was a bit buzzed off the 3 beers that I drank. I had absolutely no intentions of drinking at all, but after such a horrendous night at work, it just didn't sound half bad.. plus of course I had Scott there, who is a horrible influence on me. I told him that I couldn't drink until I was 21 days ciggarette free...but he just didn't take no for an answer. Although I might add that it was pretty cute that he left his smokes in the car so that he would not be tempted to smoke in front of me. Very nice my friend...very nice. Too bad nobody else did.
Anyhow...ok. so...6 days...no smokes.
It amazes me at the psychological impact that smoking causes. It seems that I think about it every minute of the day. If it wasn't for the 15 packs of gum that I bought...I think I would have chewed my lip off with all my nervous tension.
this morning I had a killer headache. I know it could not have been from those 3 stupid beers, cause I never ever have gotten a hangover from 3 beers. so it must be from the lack of nicotine in my system. Screwed my day all up though. I woke up to pee at 7 am, and realized my head was throbbing. Took some aspirin, and drank a butt load of water but it just didnt help.
I tossed and turned for hours, before realizing that the headache wasn't going to go away, and that there was no way I would make it to church this morning.
So finally, by 9 or so...I passed out, and didnt wake up till almost noon. Which fucked my shit up cause I was supposed to meet with Marianne at 1 for our pre-teachers meeting to go over the new material for First Defense.
Speaking of First Defense.
I am a little worried about what this next semester will bring.
My school schedule does not seem to be horribly overloaded.
Economics Mon and Wed. morning.
Intro. to Education Wed night,
and Teaching Diverse populations Thurs. night.
but Tues, which I specifically planned to not have school so I could teach looks like it will kill me before the school year is up.
All the Tuesday volunteers have quit, which just leaves me, Michelle, and Marianne.
So it appears that I will be teaching every Tuesday, from 10ish to 3ish, and then straight to work from 4 to midnight...only to wake up early for class Wed. morning.
I don't know how that is going to work.
I am a little nervous that I am going to get severly burnt out, and not be able to follow through with the schedule. I can NOT let my grades slip this semester. I HAVE to make straight A's in order to raise my GPA up to 3.5 I dont think it will be that hard, considering I have a 3.3 right now...but still.
I know that after teaching 5 hours...I'm damn tired. And the last thing I am going to want to do is wait tables for 8 hours, after standing in front of a class full of 9th graders for 5 hours.
Fuck.
No....I know I can do this...it will be difficult. But certainly not as difficult as quitting smoking.
I hope.
Shit...Its 2 am.
I have class in the morning.
And then after class...I gotta get my ass to Wickham to run off the damn Deep dish sundae I ate tonight. I feel like a porker. And I refuse to let my quitting smoking an excuse to gain any more weight.
So...until then....