(no subject)
been introspective today. i cry really easily when i think about middle school (and sometimes high school) for no real reason, just that i wish i could experience it again. i was looking through some stuff in my desk and saw a kemps landing newsletter thing that was summarizing the first 9 weeks of my 7th grade year, and on my team's part it was like "awards for these subjects...blah blah and best all-around: Meredith Pearson" and i really miss when i actually used to be at the top of stuff. i always wanted the respect and approval of teachers, to a fault, and so much of the way i thought (and still do think, sometimes) when around teachers was how much i wanted them to think i was smart, and to think i was a good person. and now in college i miss the discussions and more personal interactions that existed between teachers and students. like i remember in 8th grade when i was on exec board of SCA and i loved skipping lunch to go make posters or do other SCA work in Mr. Nixon's room and talking to him while i was there. i never fully appreciated those kinds of moments. i don't keep in touch with any teachers. even ms. greber i haven't seen in almost a year. and i know i can't change anything about the past but i dwell on it so much.
and now all 4 of the "same generation" cousins are 18 and high school graduates. yesterday i hung out with parker before, during, and after amanda's graduation ceremony, and in the middle i realized i hadn't even seen him since new year's. but it didn't seem that long because we know each other so well it's not uncomfortable even for a second. we stayed up til 4 playing battlefront. and it sucked cuz he had to leave early today, and makes me realize even more how sad i am that i have to miss basically all of the beach. i think i'm going to skip lecture that monday to stay longer. i am so thankful that i have cousins who i am so close to and have basically grown up with. i can't even comprehend when my friends say "yeah, i haven't seen my cousins in years" because jonathan and parker are such a huge part of my lives. with friends you can only reminisce as far back as you've known each other, but i can talk with them about such a huge range of events, and we have inside jokes that go on for more than a decade and a half. it's like no time has passed every time i see them. and parker is one of the very few people i can be one-on-one with and feel completely at ease.
ummmmmmmmm the rocket summer is a really good band. i have listened to them pretty much constantly the past 2 weeks. i need to buy random posters of neurons and the heart to hang in my room to showcase my nerd. we have no internet in my house. i walk the 6 minutes to the e-school and sit outside to check my mail. i love my new house. we have a constant supply of ice pops.
and now all 4 of the "same generation" cousins are 18 and high school graduates. yesterday i hung out with parker before, during, and after amanda's graduation ceremony, and in the middle i realized i hadn't even seen him since new year's. but it didn't seem that long because we know each other so well it's not uncomfortable even for a second. we stayed up til 4 playing battlefront. and it sucked cuz he had to leave early today, and makes me realize even more how sad i am that i have to miss basically all of the beach. i think i'm going to skip lecture that monday to stay longer. i am so thankful that i have cousins who i am so close to and have basically grown up with. i can't even comprehend when my friends say "yeah, i haven't seen my cousins in years" because jonathan and parker are such a huge part of my lives. with friends you can only reminisce as far back as you've known each other, but i can talk with them about such a huge range of events, and we have inside jokes that go on for more than a decade and a half. it's like no time has passed every time i see them. and parker is one of the very few people i can be one-on-one with and feel completely at ease.
ummmmmmmmm the rocket summer is a really good band. i have listened to them pretty much constantly the past 2 weeks. i need to buy random posters of neurons and the heart to hang in my room to showcase my nerd. we have no internet in my house. i walk the 6 minutes to the e-school and sit outside to check my mail. i love my new house. we have a constant supply of ice pops.