Rectum nearly Killed'M
So i haven't posted in a while because of work being so busy and Damon (thank you!!) is fixing my laptop before it dies, but i have a few free minutes and have decided to post a funnie....
This is not a personal experience of mine, but i read this while i was at work and couldn't get up to work for at least 15 minutes after it. :)
June 2000: (true story) from the Darwin Awards
As a nurse in the intensive care unit of a large medical center, I've had the opportunity to care for many potential recipients of the Darwin Award. The man in this story didn't lose his life but lost his dignity and claim to common sense, among other injuries.
A middle-aged man complained of abdominal pain and rectal bleeding. He claimed to be unaware of any reason he should be presenting such symptoms, but during his examination the physician discovered a coat hanger protruding from the patient's rectum.
The charge nurse called us to announce a patient coming from the ER who had undergone an emergency bowel resection. My coworkers and i speculated about possible reasons someone might require emergency bowel surgery, until finally, the phone rang again. We sat in rapt silence while the report nurse filled us in on the details of this unfortunate soul's plight.
The man, when questioned, admitted he had inflicted the injury upon himself.
Earlier that night, while his wife was at work, he was "pleasuring himself" when he impulsively pushed an uncooked egg into his anus. When he "lost it up there," he panicked, and tried to fish it out with a coat hanger.
The coat hanger became snagged.
At this point he decided that the vibration from a motorcycle ride might dislodge the whole mess from his nether region. It did not.
Finally, in growing pain, he rode his motorcycle to the ER.
The physician removed the coat hanger and repaired his intestines.
After an hour, the man's wife arrived. Minutes later, she stormed out of his room and demanded to be informed what had happened. I told her she needed to discuss that with her husband. "He said he didn't know!" she answered. "He said the medical staff wouldn't tell him anything!"
She was politely, but firmly, instructed to speak to the man's physician.
This is not a personal experience of mine, but i read this while i was at work and couldn't get up to work for at least 15 minutes after it. :)
June 2000: (true story) from the Darwin Awards
As a nurse in the intensive care unit of a large medical center, I've had the opportunity to care for many potential recipients of the Darwin Award. The man in this story didn't lose his life but lost his dignity and claim to common sense, among other injuries.
A middle-aged man complained of abdominal pain and rectal bleeding. He claimed to be unaware of any reason he should be presenting such symptoms, but during his examination the physician discovered a coat hanger protruding from the patient's rectum.
The charge nurse called us to announce a patient coming from the ER who had undergone an emergency bowel resection. My coworkers and i speculated about possible reasons someone might require emergency bowel surgery, until finally, the phone rang again. We sat in rapt silence while the report nurse filled us in on the details of this unfortunate soul's plight.
The man, when questioned, admitted he had inflicted the injury upon himself.
Earlier that night, while his wife was at work, he was "pleasuring himself" when he impulsively pushed an uncooked egg into his anus. When he "lost it up there," he panicked, and tried to fish it out with a coat hanger.
The coat hanger became snagged.
At this point he decided that the vibration from a motorcycle ride might dislodge the whole mess from his nether region. It did not.
Finally, in growing pain, he rode his motorcycle to the ER.
The physician removed the coat hanger and repaired his intestines.
After an hour, the man's wife arrived. Minutes later, she stormed out of his room and demanded to be informed what had happened. I told her she needed to discuss that with her husband. "He said he didn't know!" she answered. "He said the medical staff wouldn't tell him anything!"
She was politely, but firmly, instructed to speak to the man's physician.