I don't care, no I wouldn't dare, to fix the twist in you.
Why do none of my pictures look like me? The collage of them seem like twenty different girls.
Things have not turned out how I wanted them too.
After Junior Miss, I realized that pageants don't make me feel better about myself. I realized I'm done with that whole world--I'm content with the way I am. Pageants are for people who constantly feel pressure to become better people.
On my birthday, when Jon said he was having a party too, I was angry. Wasn't my boyfriend supposed to be at my party for more than a half hour?
And when I heard Dan talking shit about me, I threw his hat in the car.
He called me immature.
I called him an asshole.
My dad didn't like him anyways.
After Jon, Justin convinced me and Carolyn to go on a blind date with him and his friend Mike. I had met Mike before at the Coney one night with Erica and Brittney.
I saw him for a few weeks, and broke his heart. I did it because I still wanted to be with Jon. I was stupid. Mike was a great guy--he was nice, he stuck up for me, and he actually cared. Sometimes when we would drive somewhere he would accidentally veer into the wrong lane. When I looked over at him he'd always be looking at me with this amazed expression.
Is it more important to be with the one you want the most, or the one who wants you the most?
I don't understand how I went from who I was last year, to who I am now. I lost many friends, many guys that I really liked, and I was hurt for a long time.
Sometimes I don't think I made the right choices. Was dating Justin a really good idea? What if I had talked to Carrie? What if I spent more time with other people?
Anyways.
Of late, I was hanging out with Garrett. We're just friends, but with all the shit I was getting from Courtney you'd think we were engaged.
So, I didn't let it go anywhere. It could have, but I only joked about us being more than friends, and I never pushed him into anything.
I don't know what to do. Prom is coming up. I don't have a dress. Or a date. Or the feeling that I want to go.
The only thing I'm looking forward to everyday is Nick's baby. Then graduation. And that is it.
Carolyn and I believe in karma. Do something good and something good will happen to you.
I went from being hurt by boys to hurting them.
I went from tons of friends to a handful.
I went from happy to depressed.
When I go down the hall I focus on people's ankles. How did I get this way?
I was supposed to be The Girl. The one everyone wanted to hang out. The one the boys all wanted to date. The one all the underclassmen had crushes on.
I was on my way. I was going to be Her.
What happened?
Why am I the loner? Why am I an introvert? How come I don't hang out with the people I said I was going to?
WHY DID MY LIFE FALL INTO A MILLION PIECES?
AM I SUPPOSED TO BE STARTING OVER?
I feel like not talking for days. I want the days to pass over me like a breeze. I want to love someone who loves me.
When I was young, I had all this hope.
I seem to have let it go.
Things have not turned out how I wanted them too.
After Junior Miss, I realized that pageants don't make me feel better about myself. I realized I'm done with that whole world--I'm content with the way I am. Pageants are for people who constantly feel pressure to become better people.
On my birthday, when Jon said he was having a party too, I was angry. Wasn't my boyfriend supposed to be at my party for more than a half hour?
And when I heard Dan talking shit about me, I threw his hat in the car.
He called me immature.
I called him an asshole.
My dad didn't like him anyways.
After Jon, Justin convinced me and Carolyn to go on a blind date with him and his friend Mike. I had met Mike before at the Coney one night with Erica and Brittney.
I saw him for a few weeks, and broke his heart. I did it because I still wanted to be with Jon. I was stupid. Mike was a great guy--he was nice, he stuck up for me, and he actually cared. Sometimes when we would drive somewhere he would accidentally veer into the wrong lane. When I looked over at him he'd always be looking at me with this amazed expression.
Is it more important to be with the one you want the most, or the one who wants you the most?
I don't understand how I went from who I was last year, to who I am now. I lost many friends, many guys that I really liked, and I was hurt for a long time.
Sometimes I don't think I made the right choices. Was dating Justin a really good idea? What if I had talked to Carrie? What if I spent more time with other people?
Anyways.
Of late, I was hanging out with Garrett. We're just friends, but with all the shit I was getting from Courtney you'd think we were engaged.
So, I didn't let it go anywhere. It could have, but I only joked about us being more than friends, and I never pushed him into anything.
I don't know what to do. Prom is coming up. I don't have a dress. Or a date. Or the feeling that I want to go.
The only thing I'm looking forward to everyday is Nick's baby. Then graduation. And that is it.
Carolyn and I believe in karma. Do something good and something good will happen to you.
I went from being hurt by boys to hurting them.
I went from tons of friends to a handful.
I went from happy to depressed.
When I go down the hall I focus on people's ankles. How did I get this way?
I was supposed to be The Girl. The one everyone wanted to hang out. The one the boys all wanted to date. The one all the underclassmen had crushes on.
I was on my way. I was going to be Her.
What happened?
Why am I the loner? Why am I an introvert? How come I don't hang out with the people I said I was going to?
WHY DID MY LIFE FALL INTO A MILLION PIECES?
AM I SUPPOSED TO BE STARTING OVER?
I feel like not talking for days. I want the days to pass over me like a breeze. I want to love someone who loves me.
When I was young, I had all this hope.
I seem to have let it go.