ugggggggggggggg
i'm up right now. its almost 4:30am, have a class at 8:30am. can't sleep to save my life. i really don't think i've ever been this stressed out in my life...i hate it. i'm worried about my grades, i'm worried about how i'm going to get almost $300 by May 1...i'm worried about where i'm going to get a job...so many other financial things too... huge amounts owed on my credit card, it sucks. i got fucked over horribley by someone i was stupid enough to trust...i'm embarrassed and ashamed that i let it happen. my relationship with my mother is crumbling real fast, and she doesn't even care in the slightest. i'm not really sad at all. just really really stressed out. i can't tell my dad cause he'll just tell me that he was right, i was taking on too much trying to get an apartment and all that...but to be honest i didn't really see it as an option. i had to do it. i want to do it, i want to be on my own and prove to my family that i'm not a total fuck up. i know i'm not a fuck up. i'm just really really stressed. that's all.