(no subject)
Tevinhead says:
jen don't hate me
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. auto-message: Yes I feel down, no I don't want your help returning to the real world. Let me live in this world of fake and make believe.
Tevinhead says:
JESS
Tevinhead says:
sorry
Tevinhead says:
>.<
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I no talkie, I listen to music.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I crying.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I miss him.
Tevinhead says:
miss who
Tevinhead says:
=(
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
James.
Tevinhead says:
who's james
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. auto-message: Yes I feel down, no I don't want your help returning to the real world. Let me live in this world of fake and make believe.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
No one.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
just a guy.
Tevinhead says:
jesss
Tevinhead says:
=(
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
hes DEAD what do you want me to say??
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
FUCK.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
he's dead.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
gone.
Tevinhead says:
lucky sod.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
sod?
Tevinhead says:
tis english banter
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
"When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know your alive, and I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand, when everythings ment to be bro.ken, I just want you to know who I am"
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. auto-message: Yes I feel down, no I don't want your help returning to the real world. Let me live in this world of fake and make believe.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
He committed suicide, because of me, try living with that.
Tevinhead says:
eh..
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Try living with the fact that someone killed themselves over stupid shit.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
and its all your fault.
Tevinhead says:
I can't empathize at all
Tevinhead says:
I have no idea how that would feel
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Most people can't.
Tevinhead says:
I havn't experienced death at all
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
and there are no words to describe it other then worthless.
Tevinhead says:
well anyone close to me
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I feel worthless.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
all the time.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Did Jen every tell you why I started purging?
Tevinhead says:
nope
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Cause it was my way of telling myself that I wasnt worth food.
Tevinhead says:
hmm
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
something I havent told Jen, but the only thing I would let myself eat was javex.
Tevinhead says:
what's that
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
at the time thats the only thing I could find remotely close to poison and eventually I went to massive toxins
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
its like bleach.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
you have bleach there?
Tevinhead says:
yep
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
iots like that but twice as strong
Tevinhead says:
o-o
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
its acid basicly
Tevinhead says:
hmm
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I remember forcing myself to drink it, and the next day I was caughing blood all day.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
and I kept forcing myself to drink more, to prove that I was worth Javex
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
but the truth was I wasnt.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Not worth Javex, not worht food, not worth James
Tevinhead says:
how can you measure your worth
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I did.
Tevinhead says:
but what about now jess
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
One day. I figured it out.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
She comes and goes.
Tevinhead says:
you have some control over how much you're worth to yourself, but your worth to others is something out of your hand, and you probably don't need me to tell you that you mean alot to some people
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I mean shit to everyone else, and thats not alright.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I am worthless, simple being taking up oxygen.
Tevinhead says:
.
Tevinhead says:
you mean alot to me, and no I'm not just saying that
Tevinhead says:
and besides why would I bother saying it if you meant nothing in the first place
Tevinhead says:
it wouldn't make sense
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I don't make sense.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
-sighs-
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
-eats jar of chocolate-
Tevinhead says:
*hug
Tevinhead says:
jess, your past is unchangable, your future isn't.
Tevinhead says:
people care about you, don't take that for granted, at least try to care for yourself
Tevinhead says:
tommorows another day, just see what happens
Tevinhead says:
be brave
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I can't. I hafto depends on Robert to pick me up and put me back together, im weak.
Tevinhead says:
you choose to be weak
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I like being weak.
Tevinhead says:
probably
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Its an unexplainable comfort.
Tevinhead says:
I can understnad
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Sometimes I think I have a mental disorder or split personality.
Tevinhead says:
but you only feel this way because you have robert to fall back on
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Is that a bad thing?
Tevinhead says:
stop taking it for granted that robert will pick you up, you have to fend for yourself
Tevinhead says:
yes ofcourse it is
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I can't pick myself up, thats why I developed a ED
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
thats why I go through these fucking phases.
Tevinhead says:
and now that you picked it up you have an excuse for everything yes?
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
no.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I have no excuse for this stupidity, but I can't help it. . . im weak.
Tevinhead says:
that's a contradictory statement
Tevinhead says:
"I have no excuse", "but"
Tevinhead says:
.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I don't make sense . . .
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
never have, if I did I would be Bush's daughter.
Tevinhead says:
jess shutup with the excuses
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
.
Tevinhead says:
you make excuses for everything
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I have excuses for weverything.
Tevinhead says:
either way.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Why do I do this?
Tevinhead says:
because it's easier this way you think
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Why do I hafto talk about it?
Tevinhead says:
you don't hafto, but if you don't then maybe you wont be able to move on, which means you'll be relying on everyone still, which is unfair, not only on yourself, but the others around yu
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Why can't I be one of those happy go lucky bitches who dance around all cheerful? I would like that you know.
Tevinhead says:
.
Tevinhead says:
no one expects you to be
Tevinhead says:
independance and hapiness are differnet
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I don't think I am capable of being independent
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
brb
Tevinhead says:
it's something you can learn.
Tevinhead says:
if you try.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
ffs can't I keep my diner atleast >.<
Tevinhead says:
lol jess, I know nothing I say will change anything, and you're probably gonna learn the hard way
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Im stubborn
Tevinhead says:
everyone is, but I wouldn't say stubborn
Tevinhead says:
no that's too nice..
Tevinhead says:
darn right ignorant
Tevinhead says:
<3
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
yeah I gues a little of that too
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
sing for me m'love.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
while I sit here and fight to keep my diner.
Tevinhead says:
hmm hold up
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Dido - White Flag
Tevinhead says:
Play/Stop Save As
Tevinhead says:
hmm
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
-blank stare-
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
its empty.
Tevinhead says:
yup
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
im not worth a song now.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
-giggle-
Tevinhead says:
Play/Stop Save As
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
what the name of that song? It sounds pretty.
Tevinhead says:
unintended
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
muse?
Tevinhead says:
yup
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Something I Can Never Have - NIN
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
thanks.
Tevinhead says:
<3
Tevinhead says:
I love you jessy
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I love you too.
jen don't hate me
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. auto-message: Yes I feel down, no I don't want your help returning to the real world. Let me live in this world of fake and make believe.
Tevinhead says:
JESS
Tevinhead says:
sorry
Tevinhead says:
>.<
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I no talkie, I listen to music.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I crying.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I miss him.
Tevinhead says:
miss who
Tevinhead says:
=(
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
James.
Tevinhead says:
who's james
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. auto-message: Yes I feel down, no I don't want your help returning to the real world. Let me live in this world of fake and make believe.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
No one.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
just a guy.
Tevinhead says:
jesss
Tevinhead says:
=(
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
hes DEAD what do you want me to say??
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
FUCK.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
he's dead.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
gone.
Tevinhead says:
lucky sod.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
sod?
Tevinhead says:
tis english banter
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
"When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know your alive, and I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand, when everythings ment to be bro.ken, I just want you to know who I am"
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. auto-message: Yes I feel down, no I don't want your help returning to the real world. Let me live in this world of fake and make believe.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
He committed suicide, because of me, try living with that.
Tevinhead says:
eh..
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Try living with the fact that someone killed themselves over stupid shit.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
and its all your fault.
Tevinhead says:
I can't empathize at all
Tevinhead says:
I have no idea how that would feel
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Most people can't.
Tevinhead says:
I havn't experienced death at all
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
and there are no words to describe it other then worthless.
Tevinhead says:
well anyone close to me
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I feel worthless.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
all the time.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Did Jen every tell you why I started purging?
Tevinhead says:
nope
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Cause it was my way of telling myself that I wasnt worth food.
Tevinhead says:
hmm
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
something I havent told Jen, but the only thing I would let myself eat was javex.
Tevinhead says:
what's that
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
at the time thats the only thing I could find remotely close to poison and eventually I went to massive toxins
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
its like bleach.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
you have bleach there?
Tevinhead says:
yep
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
iots like that but twice as strong
Tevinhead says:
o-o
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
its acid basicly
Tevinhead says:
hmm
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I remember forcing myself to drink it, and the next day I was caughing blood all day.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
and I kept forcing myself to drink more, to prove that I was worth Javex
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
but the truth was I wasnt.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Not worth Javex, not worht food, not worth James
Tevinhead says:
how can you measure your worth
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I did.
Tevinhead says:
but what about now jess
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
One day. I figured it out.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
She comes and goes.
Tevinhead says:
you have some control over how much you're worth to yourself, but your worth to others is something out of your hand, and you probably don't need me to tell you that you mean alot to some people
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I mean shit to everyone else, and thats not alright.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I am worthless, simple being taking up oxygen.
Tevinhead says:
.
Tevinhead says:
you mean alot to me, and no I'm not just saying that
Tevinhead says:
and besides why would I bother saying it if you meant nothing in the first place
Tevinhead says:
it wouldn't make sense
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I don't make sense.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
-sighs-
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
-eats jar of chocolate-
Tevinhead says:
*hug
Tevinhead says:
jess, your past is unchangable, your future isn't.
Tevinhead says:
people care about you, don't take that for granted, at least try to care for yourself
Tevinhead says:
tommorows another day, just see what happens
Tevinhead says:
be brave
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I can't. I hafto depends on Robert to pick me up and put me back together, im weak.
Tevinhead says:
you choose to be weak
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I like being weak.
Tevinhead says:
probably
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Its an unexplainable comfort.
Tevinhead says:
I can understnad
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Sometimes I think I have a mental disorder or split personality.
Tevinhead says:
but you only feel this way because you have robert to fall back on
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Is that a bad thing?
Tevinhead says:
stop taking it for granted that robert will pick you up, you have to fend for yourself
Tevinhead says:
yes ofcourse it is
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I can't pick myself up, thats why I developed a ED
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
thats why I go through these fucking phases.
Tevinhead says:
and now that you picked it up you have an excuse for everything yes?
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
no.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I have no excuse for this stupidity, but I can't help it. . . im weak.
Tevinhead says:
that's a contradictory statement
Tevinhead says:
"I have no excuse", "but"
Tevinhead says:
.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I don't make sense . . .
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
never have, if I did I would be Bush's daughter.
Tevinhead says:
jess shutup with the excuses
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
.
Tevinhead says:
you make excuses for everything
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I have excuses for weverything.
Tevinhead says:
either way.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Why do I do this?
Tevinhead says:
because it's easier this way you think
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Why do I hafto talk about it?
Tevinhead says:
you don't hafto, but if you don't then maybe you wont be able to move on, which means you'll be relying on everyone still, which is unfair, not only on yourself, but the others around yu
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Why can't I be one of those happy go lucky bitches who dance around all cheerful? I would like that you know.
Tevinhead says:
.
Tevinhead says:
no one expects you to be
Tevinhead says:
independance and hapiness are differnet
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I don't think I am capable of being independent
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
brb
Tevinhead says:
it's something you can learn.
Tevinhead says:
if you try.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
ffs can't I keep my diner atleast >.<
Tevinhead says:
lol jess, I know nothing I say will change anything, and you're probably gonna learn the hard way
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Im stubborn
Tevinhead says:
everyone is, but I wouldn't say stubborn
Tevinhead says:
no that's too nice..
Tevinhead says:
darn right ignorant
Tevinhead says:
<3
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
yeah I gues a little of that too
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
sing for me m'love.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
while I sit here and fight to keep my diner.
Tevinhead says:
hmm hold up
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Dido - White Flag
Tevinhead says:
Play/Stop Save As
Tevinhead says:
hmm
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
-blank stare-
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
its empty.
Tevinhead says:
yup
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
im not worth a song now.
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
-giggle-
Tevinhead says:
Play/Stop Save As
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
what the name of that song? It sounds pretty.
Tevinhead says:
unintended
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
muse?
Tevinhead says:
yup
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
Something I Can Never Have - NIN
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
thanks.
Tevinhead says:
<3
Tevinhead says:
I love you jessy
Jess - Guilty of the Third sin. says:
I love you too.