Hanging by a moment..
Why is it that the few best days of your life can hurt the worst? And its not even reached the peak of my pain. I feel like i've been lied to. am being lied to. hell i dont know. Signs change. and with those. feelings change. Why did i think that it was best if i pushed away my friends.. my true friends. im sorry. luckily i know that if anything happens between me and him and i completely can't stand to be around the group that ive grown fond of. i will have jenny. she's been great. but the road trip was fun and i dont want to have to give that up. but idk where things are going and that hurts the most. i want to go back to where i wished we were the whole time. to where i was oblivious to yourself. you remembered everything and anger wasnt even an idea. anger scares me the most. i got so scared that night. it didnt matter where it was directed. i saw the potential for it to be directed at me. i dont see how i can hurt you that bad, when you are the one doing the pushing.
i cant help but look back now. and think about what i missed out on...
on you. could it ever be the same. i think so. thats why i loved you. im sorry for this detour. the words dont meet the axns. where as with you. the axns surpassed the words. the words. sometimes cutting. too extreme for me. not always what i wanted to hear. the axns. the sincerest. most caring. what i loved.
on my friends. if i werent leaving what would have happened? Sorry i completely didnt take your advice more to heart. it was in the best of intentions. i wish we could have been closer than we were in highschool. but the times i did spend with you were the funnest. i was in town with your grandma last night. i hope you are here next semester i love you babe. thanks for always being there for me and what i never said is you prolly are my best friend. we've gone through so much and i am sorry for everything that happened that summer at camp. or summer(s) it just wasnt our place. good luck with everything. Sorry for leaving both of you you are my guys. Best of luck where ever the world takes you.
meeting people up here is not bad. but its hard to say who i can rely on most. i dont want to be able to count my friends but not be able to count on them. that sucks.. u can only imagine. yes he has pulled through as a true friend. but he seemingly has that relationship with everyone. or at least every girl. maybe jenny? too soon to tell. we'll hang out tomorrow for sure. maybe tonight. yes natalie and danielle are awesome. but its hard to hang out with them or get close to them.. bc they are mine and colin's friends. danielle seeminly more mine and natalie more colins. understandable. Where to go?
Natalie and me are considering joining a sorority.. it seems fun enough. we're going to rushweek sometime next week. it'll be fun. ill meet new people. develop a new bond.
some songs to consider pondering this week:
You had me from hello- Kenny Chesney
Hanging by a Moment- Lifehouse *
Butterfly kisses- Garth Brooks
Cowboy Take me away- Dixie Chicks *
All down hill from here- NFG *
Strawberry Wine- Deana Carter
Thinking About Tomorrow- ??? *
My Give-a-damn's Broken- Jo Dee Mesina *
i cant help but look back now. and think about what i missed out on...
on you. could it ever be the same. i think so. thats why i loved you. im sorry for this detour. the words dont meet the axns. where as with you. the axns surpassed the words. the words. sometimes cutting. too extreme for me. not always what i wanted to hear. the axns. the sincerest. most caring. what i loved.
on my friends. if i werent leaving what would have happened? Sorry i completely didnt take your advice more to heart. it was in the best of intentions. i wish we could have been closer than we were in highschool. but the times i did spend with you were the funnest. i was in town with your grandma last night. i hope you are here next semester i love you babe. thanks for always being there for me and what i never said is you prolly are my best friend. we've gone through so much and i am sorry for everything that happened that summer at camp. or summer(s) it just wasnt our place. good luck with everything. Sorry for leaving both of you you are my guys. Best of luck where ever the world takes you.
meeting people up here is not bad. but its hard to say who i can rely on most. i dont want to be able to count my friends but not be able to count on them. that sucks.. u can only imagine. yes he has pulled through as a true friend. but he seemingly has that relationship with everyone. or at least every girl. maybe jenny? too soon to tell. we'll hang out tomorrow for sure. maybe tonight. yes natalie and danielle are awesome. but its hard to hang out with them or get close to them.. bc they are mine and colin's friends. danielle seeminly more mine and natalie more colins. understandable. Where to go?
Natalie and me are considering joining a sorority.. it seems fun enough. we're going to rushweek sometime next week. it'll be fun. ill meet new people. develop a new bond.
some songs to consider pondering this week:
You had me from hello- Kenny Chesney
Hanging by a Moment- Lifehouse *
Butterfly kisses- Garth Brooks
Cowboy Take me away- Dixie Chicks *
All down hill from here- NFG *
Strawberry Wine- Deana Carter
Thinking About Tomorrow- ??? *
My Give-a-damn's Broken- Jo Dee Mesina *