and so ok then.
I haven't updated this thing in a while, so I might have forgotten how to do it LOL. This entry might suck.
I feel like I'm missing something in my life, I dunno know why or what it is. But life just feels so boring right now. And it's not that I'm looking for something to occupy my time or anything like that... I dunno It's just like I have all these ideas about what I want my life to be like and then I feel disappointed cuz I don't make any of them happen. The thing is tho, I'm thinking big and I'm think I'm trying to move too fast. Like a part of me wants to be real grown up and independent, while the sensible part of me is going ummm ur still just a young adult lol. I really thought that I was going to have my own house by the end of this year. and then I doubt myself cuz I barely have enough money to pay off my bills right now.... Soooo I'm just gonna stay at home, and try to get all my shit paid off & save as much money as I can. which sucks major ass.
Then I know I cause myself alot of unnecessary stress, and I've tried to tell myself to just calm down and not worry about the little shit, but sometimes that just doesn't work. Then I stress about the big stuff too. Like how I wish my mom would stop feeling sorry for my moocher aunt and tell her to grow up and be a responsible adult. But she won't so my family has to deal with her and all her antics. I can't effing stand it.
I know I'm not depressed or anything, I'm grateful for everything that I have. But for some reason, it just feels like nothing makes me really happy. I guess I sorta feel like I'm floating in the middle of nowhere and not working towards any major goals. Or whatever lol I just feel like a weiner right now.
I feel like I'm putting up a wall and my relationships are suffering from it.
I'm frustrated I suppose. But o well. For now I just wanted to get it off my chest... The next step is to get off my ass and do something about it...
Wish me luck.
Love,
Meggles