He Didn't Want To See
Title: He didn't want to see
Author: crazycatt71
Rating: G
Pairing: 10th Doctor, Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper
Spoilers: mentions things that happen in COE
Summary: why the Doctor didn't stop the 456
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just having a little fun
A/N: This was written for the wintercompanion 2011 Doctor/Jack Bingo. The prompt was he had to let it happen
This is cross posted. Sorry if you get it more than once.
"There's one thing I always meant to ask Jack, back in the old days. I wanted to know about that Doctor of his, the man who appears out of nowhere and saves the world. Except sometimes he doesn't. All those times in history, when there was no sign of him. I wanted to know why not. But I don't need to ask anymore, I know the answer now. Somtimes the Doctor must look at this planet and turn away in shame." Gwen Cooper's voice came from the speakers.
The last of the Time Lords stood silently watching the video, listening to the words of a woman who had given up all hope. Part of him wished he could go and find her and explain why he couldn't have stepped in and changed what had happened with the 456. The Tardis had brought him to Earth just before the 456 had made contact. He had intended to find Jack and his team and offer all the help he could, but the curse of the Time Lords was seeing all of time, what was, what would be, what could happen, and what would happen if things were to change in the here and now. As he watched all the possibilities, all the scenarios that played out in his mind, each ending was worse than the last. Death, enslavement, destruction, the planet destroyed, the chaos never ended. The Doctor wanted to tell Gwen Cooper he hadn't turned away in shame, he had turned away because he didn't want to watch a young man take his last breath in the arms of his lover, he didn't want to see a man make an impossible choice to sacrifice his grandson to save the world, he didn't want to see Jack Harkness shatter under the weight of his grief. He'd turned away because there was nothing he could do, for the greater good, he had to let it happen. The video ended. The Doctor turned the player off. He wiped a hand acrossed his eyes, then reached out and pulled a lever on the console. As the Tardis began to whine and flash in and out of sight, "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." floated over the air.