Coffee God
Title: Coffee God
Author: crazycatt71
Rating: G
Pairings: Jack, Ianto, Owen, Tosh, Gwen
Summary: Ianto won't make the coffee, what's the team to do?
A/N: this is cross posted to my journal, torchwoodcoffee, & torch_wood
I aplogize to anyone getting this more than once.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I'm just having fun.
Jack checked his watch and looked at the door, for the tenth time in five minutes. Ianto was late with his afternoon coffee, Ianto was never late, somthing must be wrong. He jumped up and hurried to the door.
Oi! Harkness, where are you hiding the tea boy?" Owen demanded. "He's late with the coffee."
"I haven't seen him since this morning." Jack said, hurrying down the stairs. "Has anybody seen him."
"He went toward the archives, muttering, several hours ago." Tosh said.
Jack frowned and hurried down to the archives, Owen on his heels.
"Ianto?" Jack called, as they entered the room.
"Yes, sir." Ianto, replied, stepping out from behind a shelving unit.
"Everything ok here?" Jack asked, puzzled, nothing seemed wrong, Ianto seemed fine.
"Everything is fine, sir." Ianto told him. "Why do you ask?'
"Because you're late with the coffee." Owen growled, "You're never late."
"You'll have to make your own coffee." Ianto told them, "I'm busy."
Jack and Owen both gasped in horror.
"Making the coffee is your job," Owen told him, "what are you so busy with that you can't do your job?"
Ianto's eyes darkened and his face turned red as he marched across the room and got in Owen's face.
"I'm busy trying to get caught up on my work because you left a mess in the med-bay for me to clean up." he growled softly. " Then I had to straiten out the supply cupboard because Gwen can't find things that are right in front of her face."
He jabbed a finger at Jack's chest.
" I spent the the last couple of hours trying to make sense out of the files because you can't grasp the concept of the English alphabet." he said, his voice starting to raise in pitch. "Now I'm going to put away all of the artifacts that Tosh seems to be able to take off the shelves, but not put back. When I get don't with that I'm sure somebody will have made another mess for me to clean up."
Jack stared to reach for him but he pulled back.
"No, Jack," he hissed, " it won't work today. Just get out and let me work."
"Ianto...."Jack pleaded, but Ianto cut him off.
"OUT!" he shouted, pointing at the door.
Jack and Owen fled. The girls were horrified when Owen told them what Ianto had said.
"No coffee?" Gwen squeaked.
Jack looked at the rest of the team.
"I think you're all missing the point." he said.
"That teaboy is being a prat." Owen grumbled.
"That we all take Ianto for granted." Jack said. "He's upset and has every reason. If we don't start cleaning up after ourselves more, we'll never get Ianto's coffee again."
The thought of going with out Ianto's wonderful coffee was so terrifying that they all shivered.
"I can put the stuff I take out of the archives back." Tosh said.
"I can be neater when I look for stuff." Gwen said.
"I can try to put files away right." Jack said.'
The three of them looked at Owen.
"Ok, I can clean up my messes in the med-bay." he grumbled. " Now that that's settled, how do we get teaboy up here to make the coffee?"
Jack thought for a minute, then grinned.
"I've got an idea." he said.
"It better not involve sex." Owen said.
Jack shook his head, then told them his idea.
"Ianto." Jack called over the com unit a few minute later. " Would you come up here, please."
"I'm not making the coffee, Jack." Ianto replied.
"Up here, Now!" Jack barked.
A few minutes later, Ianto walked into the main room of the Hub, his face still clouded with anger. He stopped in his tracks, shocked, as his team mates, including Jack, fell to their knees, arms stretched over their heads as they bowed.
"All hail Ianto, the mighty Coffee God." they chanted.
"Please forgive these unworthy ones." Jack begged. "We promise to do better."
Ianto burst out laughing. He laughed until tears rolled down his face.
"Ok, you're forgiven." he said when he could talk.
The four of them cheered as he headed to the kitchenette. Tosh and Gwen hugged him when he brought them their coffee.
"Thanks, teaboy." Owen said as Ianto handed him his cup.
Ianto raised an eyebrow.
"I mean thanks, Oh mighty Coffee God." Owen corrected.
Ianto smirked as the others burst out laughing.