FUCKING JEWISH WOMEN!
Check this shit out, bitches! I got a story y'all are gonna DIE over!
So 2 weeks ago I was at a party and met this Jewish girl from Wellington right? She's fucking JEWISH, RICH and PRETTY...the 3 necessities that will get me through life, ok? Good, so I get her number but she's forever calling me! She's forever being the psycho stalker and won't leave me alone! And quite frankly, I'll be honest - I was kinda diggin it!
So I finally tell her to lemme take her out on a date and she agrees. Come the weekend, this bitch FUCKS me over and I find out she already has interest in another guy, right? FUCKING JEWISH WENCH! But anyway, that was her prerogative and more power to her for finding a sexier Jew than me...
ONNNNNNN TOOOOOOO THEEEEE NEEEEXXXXT BITTTTTTCH:
Bitch # 2 I met at a party this passed weekend and got her number. She was again, JEWISH, RICH, and from BOCA! I actually liked her cuz she was down to earth and really chill, so I decided to get her number and call her up. I told her I was gonna take her out Monday, and she agreed. Ohhhhhh this is where the fun stuff starts...
I go to her place an hour early and knock on the door. The door was already cracked open so when I knocked on it, it opened and there she was fully HARDCORE making out with some ugly (probably non-Jewish) fag! So I'm confused and she saw me and she fucking PUSHED the guy off her screaming 'GET THE FUCK OFF ME NOW! I'M NEVER GETTING BACK WITH YOU! JUST GET OUT!'...and he says, 'ok!' and leaves. She's all crying now telling me that's her ex who's forever trying to get back with her and blah blah blah...anyway I looked passed it and took her out.
Mind you, I just got a brand new 2005 Altima, ok? It's my fucking baby. I would die for it anyday. THIS BITCH! decides to get in my fucking car and smoke a cig!!! FUCKING, OHHHHH MYYYYYY GOD!!! And if I rolled the windows down, she would argue with me and tell me to keep them up because it's too fucking cold out! Overall, the bitch won the argument and me AND my baby smelled like fucking ass!
So we get to the restaurant and this fucking wench decides to order a $22 FUCKING STEAK, $7 glass of wine and $8 tiramisu! I was about to die... She excuses herself to go to the bathroom and I was about to just dip out right there and leave the bitch hanging, right? It's somethin I would do, for all of you who know how I roll haha. But I thought the date couldn't get any worse than it already was so I decided to go along with the rest of it. She comes back and says "Mitch, do I look pretty?" And of course, I said yes. She said "sorry I just wanted to ehar u say it bc I never hear my boyfriend say it anymore..."
WHAT THE FUCKING FLYING HOLY GOD DAMN SHIT?!?!?!?!!?!?
SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND!? So I'm like, "you fucking told me you were single!" And she's laughing and saying "you must've misunderstood me!" And overall, dinner wasn't too successful. SO I was taking some other dude's girl out and she didn't seem to mind! You fucking AMERICANS, JESUS CHRIST!
So I take her home, I fucking skipped the movie plans haha. I couldn't deal w/ that bitch anymore. We get to her place and naturally, I walk her to her door and she invites me in to meet her roommates. Couldn't hurt, right? So we go in and her fucking BOYFRIEND is playing video games on the couch! He just didn't even look up and said, "what up dude?" ....I didn't even respond, I was too much in shock. She tells me that they're not home and that she wanted me to go see her newly decorated room. As soon as we get there, she closes the door but DOESN'T EVEN LOCK IT and tries to unzip my pants!
YEAH, MY PANTS! SHE WANTED SOME JEWISH "D"!
I'm of course, flippppping out saying 'wtf are you doing! your boyfriend is RIGHT in front of us!' her response is "he's not RIGHT in front of us.." Anyway, her phone then rings and she picks up. Then my phone rings and it was my EX! (the Texas one) Being incredibly overprotective, she was like "who's that girl I hear in the background?" And I said "my friend." But the other girl thought I was talkin to her and she was like 'WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!?' And now both bitches are yelling at me and I just fucking hung up on my ex, flicked off the other psycho and PEACED THE FUCCCCCCCK OUT!
As I'm walking out, the bf was like 'later dude.' All I said was, 'dude you're in one FUCKED UP relationship.'
...and that was my night...
...fucking jews
So 2 weeks ago I was at a party and met this Jewish girl from Wellington right? She's fucking JEWISH, RICH and PRETTY...the 3 necessities that will get me through life, ok? Good, so I get her number but she's forever calling me! She's forever being the psycho stalker and won't leave me alone! And quite frankly, I'll be honest - I was kinda diggin it!
So I finally tell her to lemme take her out on a date and she agrees. Come the weekend, this bitch FUCKS me over and I find out she already has interest in another guy, right? FUCKING JEWISH WENCH! But anyway, that was her prerogative and more power to her for finding a sexier Jew than me...
ONNNNNNN TOOOOOOO THEEEEE NEEEEXXXXT BITTTTTTCH:
Bitch # 2 I met at a party this passed weekend and got her number. She was again, JEWISH, RICH, and from BOCA! I actually liked her cuz she was down to earth and really chill, so I decided to get her number and call her up. I told her I was gonna take her out Monday, and she agreed. Ohhhhhh this is where the fun stuff starts...
I go to her place an hour early and knock on the door. The door was already cracked open so when I knocked on it, it opened and there she was fully HARDCORE making out with some ugly (probably non-Jewish) fag! So I'm confused and she saw me and she fucking PUSHED the guy off her screaming 'GET THE FUCK OFF ME NOW! I'M NEVER GETTING BACK WITH YOU! JUST GET OUT!'...and he says, 'ok!' and leaves. She's all crying now telling me that's her ex who's forever trying to get back with her and blah blah blah...anyway I looked passed it and took her out.
Mind you, I just got a brand new 2005 Altima, ok? It's my fucking baby. I would die for it anyday. THIS BITCH! decides to get in my fucking car and smoke a cig!!! FUCKING, OHHHHH MYYYYYY GOD!!! And if I rolled the windows down, she would argue with me and tell me to keep them up because it's too fucking cold out! Overall, the bitch won the argument and me AND my baby smelled like fucking ass!
So we get to the restaurant and this fucking wench decides to order a $22 FUCKING STEAK, $7 glass of wine and $8 tiramisu! I was about to die... She excuses herself to go to the bathroom and I was about to just dip out right there and leave the bitch hanging, right? It's somethin I would do, for all of you who know how I roll haha. But I thought the date couldn't get any worse than it already was so I decided to go along with the rest of it. She comes back and says "Mitch, do I look pretty?" And of course, I said yes. She said "sorry I just wanted to ehar u say it bc I never hear my boyfriend say it anymore..."
WHAT THE FUCKING FLYING HOLY GOD DAMN SHIT?!?!?!?!!?!?
SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND!? So I'm like, "you fucking told me you were single!" And she's laughing and saying "you must've misunderstood me!" And overall, dinner wasn't too successful. SO I was taking some other dude's girl out and she didn't seem to mind! You fucking AMERICANS, JESUS CHRIST!
So I take her home, I fucking skipped the movie plans haha. I couldn't deal w/ that bitch anymore. We get to her place and naturally, I walk her to her door and she invites me in to meet her roommates. Couldn't hurt, right? So we go in and her fucking BOYFRIEND is playing video games on the couch! He just didn't even look up and said, "what up dude?" ....I didn't even respond, I was too much in shock. She tells me that they're not home and that she wanted me to go see her newly decorated room. As soon as we get there, she closes the door but DOESN'T EVEN LOCK IT and tries to unzip my pants!
YEAH, MY PANTS! SHE WANTED SOME JEWISH "D"!
I'm of course, flippppping out saying 'wtf are you doing! your boyfriend is RIGHT in front of us!' her response is "he's not RIGHT in front of us.." Anyway, her phone then rings and she picks up. Then my phone rings and it was my EX! (the Texas one) Being incredibly overprotective, she was like "who's that girl I hear in the background?" And I said "my friend." But the other girl thought I was talkin to her and she was like 'WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!?' And now both bitches are yelling at me and I just fucking hung up on my ex, flicked off the other psycho and PEACED THE FUCCCCCCCK OUT!
As I'm walking out, the bf was like 'later dude.' All I said was, 'dude you're in one FUCKED UP relationship.'
...and that was my night...
...fucking jews