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[crazyblkchica]

at beans rollin balls to bad corissa left me.. well sam joe nick and bean are kool.. paul is fuckin crazy just like always... when will i stop this when? i dont know but soon i hope... this is a cry for help seriously... i want help... x makes me sooo happy but i want to be happy without spending money on a drug.. life is sad... i dont want to end up like my mom... mom i love you soo much i miss you i just want to know that your ok.... dont you see that we love you.. our family needs you... dad needs you.. I need you.. well atleast when your not mad at me.. I just want to make you proud of me thats all... I dont want you to be mad at me or anything.. when you think of my i just want a huge smile to some across your face and the wonderful feeling to be in your heart when you think of your lil baby girl that almost didnt make it into this world.. Mom i love you soo much more than i can ever type on this damn thing.. WHOOOA now that I got that out.. lol the party last weekend was crazy.. no more parties no more.. lol im to young for this shit.... life is moving to fast and im learning nothing.. i dont want my youth to pass by in a huge fuckin blur.. I should be a fuckin author.. that way i could do all the drugs i want and just get away with it.. lol whatever.. as you can see im losin my fuckin mind... lol but what else is new... words are sort..
love ya
rachel