summer..
camp is very bittersweet in my mind.. although i know it will be fun and it will be worth it.. the thought of how much im going to miss in IL lingers in my mind. ive gone to this camp for a long time.. and it was a comfort for me when i first moved, because i felt like it was my true home.. now IL is home for me.. i have finally been able to say that.. and now that i' ve found a home, why must i run away from it. i hate introducing myself into people's lives and then vanish just as things are good. i've done this so many times in my life and going to camp feels like im just repeating the crime.
and then i feel bad for thinking like that, like i dont like camp, because i do, i love camp, but maybe i just dont need it now..
i just hope that when i go away this summer that everyone wont forget me, that when i come back we'll just pick up from where we left off, i know that im not going to lose all my friends but i am a very paranoid person. i wish i could just pause time right now and playback so many recent events that made me happy to be here. if i haven't told you this before, then im going to say it now. i really appreciate everyone in my life. i love them all. i wish i could stay but i cant. august 23rd will be here in no time.. which is scary as well.
and then i feel bad for thinking like that, like i dont like camp, because i do, i love camp, but maybe i just dont need it now..
i just hope that when i go away this summer that everyone wont forget me, that when i come back we'll just pick up from where we left off, i know that im not going to lose all my friends but i am a very paranoid person. i wish i could just pause time right now and playback so many recent events that made me happy to be here. if i haven't told you this before, then im going to say it now. i really appreciate everyone in my life. i love them all. i wish i could stay but i cant. august 23rd will be here in no time.. which is scary as well.