(no subject)
Sometimes, I feel like I can't get close to anyone without feeling like I'm stepping on their toes or they're stepping on mine. My best friends, my interests, my family. God. And it all happens at the same time. I just don't get it.
October of 2007 was arguably the hardest month of my life thus far. I woke up almost everyday crying, I pushed everyone away, I wouldn't get help when I knew I needed it. Just in thinking about the people in my life, I don't want to be like that ever again. That's the worst pain I've ever inflicted upon myself.
Some of the worst heartbreak I've ever experienced has been from friends and family, causes ranging from ignorance to relocation to fist fights. it's been getting increasingly more difficult for me to let new people in. i've found that it has been harder for me to just let myself go and care for people. i find flaws and cling to them to prevent myself from letting people in.
i need to get over this shit.
saying "i can't cry" isn't some psychological countermeasure. it's a statement. and i'm practicing. i cried myself out with one person in the past two years. i'm finding new ways. i'm experimenting. i'm experiencing.
i know i'm alone if i'm with or without you, but just being around you offers me another form of relief
--rilo kiley, portions for foxes
well you have suffered enough
and warred with yourself
it's time that you've won
--glen hansard, falling slowly
the entirety of "the absence of god" by rilo kiley
Maybe this is all that you want
Maybe you’re just as lonesome as me
A shoulder that you can cry on
A warm safe place you can be
Someone to call in the middle of the night
When the ghosts in your bedroom won’t rest
Two arms to hold you tight
I promise that I’ll do my best
To give you everything I got to give
--steve earle, i thought you should know
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
--vanessa carlton, white houses
This is to a girl who got into my head
With all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It's to a girl who got into my head
With all the fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
--something corporate, konstantine
Oh, it feels good to be free
Betrayal is a thorny crown
You wear it well
Just like a king
--rilo kiley, breaking up
But thoughts they change
And times they rearrange
I don't know who you are anymore
Love's come and go
And this I know
I'm not who you recall anymore
--anberlin, a day late
Calm down, deep breaths
And get yourself dressed
Instead of running around
And pulling on your threads
And breaking yourself up
If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it
--jason mraz, sewing machine/details in the fabric
the entirety of "top of the world" by patty griffin
you are a china shop
and i am a bull
you are really good food
and i am full
--ani difranco, you had time
And I can believe
what can't be known for sure
the things that might be
the things that ever were
and still not know
a thing in the end
and still believe
that God is my friend
--bob schneider, god is my friend
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
--sheryl crow, i shall believe
will you tell me an anonymous secret?
October of 2007 was arguably the hardest month of my life thus far. I woke up almost everyday crying, I pushed everyone away, I wouldn't get help when I knew I needed it. Just in thinking about the people in my life, I don't want to be like that ever again. That's the worst pain I've ever inflicted upon myself.
Some of the worst heartbreak I've ever experienced has been from friends and family, causes ranging from ignorance to relocation to fist fights. it's been getting increasingly more difficult for me to let new people in. i've found that it has been harder for me to just let myself go and care for people. i find flaws and cling to them to prevent myself from letting people in.
i need to get over this shit.
saying "i can't cry" isn't some psychological countermeasure. it's a statement. and i'm practicing. i cried myself out with one person in the past two years. i'm finding new ways. i'm experimenting. i'm experiencing.
i know i'm alone if i'm with or without you, but just being around you offers me another form of relief
--rilo kiley, portions for foxes
well you have suffered enough
and warred with yourself
it's time that you've won
--glen hansard, falling slowly
the entirety of "the absence of god" by rilo kiley
Maybe this is all that you want
Maybe you’re just as lonesome as me
A shoulder that you can cry on
A warm safe place you can be
Someone to call in the middle of the night
When the ghosts in your bedroom won’t rest
Two arms to hold you tight
I promise that I’ll do my best
To give you everything I got to give
--steve earle, i thought you should know
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
--vanessa carlton, white houses
This is to a girl who got into my head
With all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It's to a girl who got into my head
With all the fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
--something corporate, konstantine
Oh, it feels good to be free
Betrayal is a thorny crown
You wear it well
Just like a king
--rilo kiley, breaking up
But thoughts they change
And times they rearrange
I don't know who you are anymore
Love's come and go
And this I know
I'm not who you recall anymore
--anberlin, a day late
Calm down, deep breaths
And get yourself dressed
Instead of running around
And pulling on your threads
And breaking yourself up
If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it
--jason mraz, sewing machine/details in the fabric
the entirety of "top of the world" by patty griffin
you are a china shop
and i am a bull
you are really good food
and i am full
--ani difranco, you had time
And I can believe
what can't be known for sure
the things that might be
the things that ever were
and still not know
a thing in the end
and still believe
that God is my friend
--bob schneider, god is my friend
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
--sheryl crow, i shall believe
will you tell me an anonymous secret?