(no subject)
life is weird.... I'm feeling weird... like how could people think that I would say that, how could people be so mean. what have I done wrong. Why can't I open up to people. why am I so scared and what am I scared of? What has made me the way I am. What has scarred me so much, see I think that I know but I've never told anyone. I don't understand what is wrong with me. and why people don't seem to like me. I hate when I get called straightedge, even thought I am. I hate when people think that I'm a lesbian, when I'm not. I hate that I feel to vulnerable to let go, and well drink, or even speak in a group of people. I hate when people that are skinner than me call themselves fat and are trying to loose weight, are on diets, and throw it in my face. I have been randomly starting to cry with no explanation. I hate that I don't fit in, that I'm not normal, that I don't believe in god, because when people hear that they are like, "OK..... " and then they walk away. or that they hear that I went to prep, they are like private school... oh... and walk away. they hear that I like in a town of only 1,200 people they go, oh...nice... and walk away. I hate that I always seem to get in the middle of a triangle. I hate that I spent 2 hours in a Borders pretty much to impress a guy, and also bought a book for the same reason. I hate that nobody gets my Ugly sweatshirt here. and I really need to stop now.
Beanie
Beanie