Good Night and Sweet Dreams
Title: Good night and sweet dreams
Author: crazybananatr3e
Characters/Pairing: daejae, younglo, bangdae
Rating: PG13
Warnings: none
Wordcount: ~8k
Summary: Youngjae's life sucks. He can't sleep and life just sucks.
Written for the
thebrowniebunch fic exchange round 3.
Part II
~
Youngjae gazes out at the waves, crashing against each other then undulating gently away. He doesn’t remember the last time he went to the beach but he knows he goes way less than he should.
Youngjae looks back to see Junhong squatting in the middle of some giant rocks, with a silly smile on his face. He walks up to the younger boy to peek over his shoulder.
Junhong had caught a couple of baby crabs that were fighting each other with their mini pincers. Youngjae pokes one of them in the back, giving the other an advantage and he pushes his opponent out of the ring.
Youngjae cheers excitedly in circles at his group-win as Junhong pets the defeated crab comfortingly on its back. Junhong returns the other crab to his home and the two quickly make up, scuttling back into their holes and speaking no more of their strange encounter.
“This place is so beautiful.”
Junhong smiles, unable to explain the surge of pride that comes up at Youngjae’s comment. The sign off to the side reads ‘Oedaldo Love Island’ and makes Junhong blush a little.
“I wonder if you were born here,” Youngjae says lightly.
Junhong doesn’t reply. He’s found a tiny frog in the cleft of a rock and has to reach in to get it.
Youngjae smiles, “hey, aren’t you curious?”
Junhong shrugs and places his new friend on the rock, staring at it staring at him. “I guess…” He replies noncommittally.
Youngjae lets out an amused noise as he rises to his feet. Leaning down, he presses a kiss to Junhong’s cheek, “I’m gonna go for a swim.”
He pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground. He wades out into the water, shivering slightly at its cool touch.
Junhong watches the other boy’s bare back and broad shoulders grow smaller. When he looks back to the rock, the frog has hopped away. Junhong follows after the boy, throwing his own shirt down and running for the ocean.
~
Youngjae is pretty sure he’s dying. No, there couldn’t be so much misery in death. Youngjae gives up glancing at the clock but moans and lays his head down on the books in front of him. He closes his eyes, convincing himself not to fight the images of the fair skinned boy with pretty dimples. He lets the vision swim before his eyes and tries not to think about how his name is at the tip of the tongue. Youngjae keeps himself preoccupied like this, buried under a pile of books and handwritten notes so that he doesn’t hear Daehyun come through his door, shaking his head and tsk-ing at the mountain of ramyun cups next to Youngjae.
Daehyun kicks away the dirty laundry and a stack of printed journals to unload his bags onto the coffee table. He sneaks up behind the other boy to look over his shoulder. His notes are a mumble jumble of drawings and terms Daehyun should know but has long lost the patience for.
“Boo!” Daehyun whispers and when Youngjae still doesn’t respond, Daehyun leans over to peck Youngjae’s cheek.
It does the trick and Youngjae jumps.
“Hey there stranger,” Daehyun says with a frown. Youngjae’s eyebags are the worse he’d ever seen on him.
“Dae? Wh-” Youngjae has to stop and rub his eyes while Daehyun just manages to pull himself away to grab some utensils from the kitchen cupboard - Youngjae was in desperate need of saving.
“What are you doing here?” Daehyun can barely hear Youngjae’s still dazed voice from the kitchen but he rolls his eyes.
“When was the last time you a real meal? When was the last time you slept in your bed?” Daehyun returns with two bowls and forks and spoons from mismatched sets.
Without looking at Youngjae, Daehyun grabs the containers out of the bag and almost too suddenly Youngjae is reminded of how hungry he is. His stomach grumbles as the smell of chicken and deokbokki fills his tiny living room and Daehyun smirks.
“Here,” Daehyun offers him the utensils and settles down to eat. Youngjae swallows hard, eyes prickling with mystery tears. He frowns and brushes his eyes roughly with his sleeve. Gruffly, he sits down to eat, not venturing to even look at Daehyun though the word ‘thanks’ is at his lips, threatening to spill over but for his stubborn pride.
It isn’t after a few pieces before Youngjae finally realizes that Daehyun hasn’t said a word since sitting down and Daehyun always talks when he eats.
He talks about his day and what he did and how he finds it amazing that Youngjae’s still sane with the coursework that that professor had just piled on them.
Youngjae scans the other uneasily. Daehyun was eating with his usual eagerness but there was just the slightest tension in his shoulders and his mouth. And a closed-ness about him that Youngjae hadn’t seen since he’d first seen Daehyun as the nervous transfer from Busan.
“Why are you here?” Youngjae asks finally, carefully, trying to maintain a casual tone.
Daehyun shrugs, tone light, “well, since my best friend of 6 years forgot my birthday and has ignored every single on of my calls and messages for the past week, I decided to check and see if he was still, y’know, alive.” Daehyun’s eyes flicker up to stare at Youngjae, accusation open in his face.
Youngjae has to look away, shame and regret rushing through him, “sorry.”
“Happy birthday,” he offers, not knowing what else to say. He had no excuses. Not even the fact that his sleep cycle was practically non-existant. Or that some strange guy was showing up in his non-dreams. Or worse still, that him on the verge of actually dating Bang Yongguk was messing him up even more than the lack of sleep.
Daehyun stares hard at his friend, “is everything alright?”
Youngjae doesn’t respond for a moment and then shakes his head. When he looks back at Daehyun, it seems as if his eye bags had grown even bigger.
“I just haven’t been sleeping well. I’m tired as hell. I don’t know what’s happening.” Youngjae’s frustration seeps into his voice, annoying him further.
Daehyun nods - Youngjae had been complaining about that for the past week or so. He perks up and rummages in his other bags that Youngjae hadn’t noticed.
“That’s why I brought this! C’mon, you owe me a drink.” Daehyun brings out a can of cold beer and waves it in Youngjae’s face, mood somehow restored with Youngjae’s explanation. Youngjae acquiesces and can’t help but smile how easily his best friend was satisfied.
They drink for hours, not necessarily talking but enjoying the brief reprieve from their studies. Daehyun was back to his usual pleasant self and Youngjae feels himself relax under the influence of the alcohol and sleepiness.
~
There’s music playing overhead - loud and comforting to Junhong. Around him are flowers of every color. Bright purple, red and orange come together in an electrifying mix.
Junhong can’t help but hear the deep beat of the music. Unknowingly, but in an entirely delightful way to Junhong, his feet start moving. Then, his hands and then, his body. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from but he doesn’t care. He just dances, letting the music dictate the next movement.
When the music ends, his labored breathing plays in his ears and- clapping. Junhong whirls around. Not unexpectedly, Youngjae is there, smiling as he makes his ways over to Junhong.
“Woah, you’ve got some moves there, cutie.” Youngjae winks at him, making Junhong laugh despite himself.
“What was that move? The one where you did with your hips?” Youngjae asks, as he thrusts his own hips a couple of times, making Junhong laugh even harder. It’s clear Youngjae wasn’t a dancer.
The older boy narrows his eyes at Junhong, “are you making fun of me, dancer boy?”
Junhong clutches his middle, “n-no! Definitely not,” he gasps between breaths. Youngjae tackles him to the ground but Junhong can hardly find offense with older boy. Not when he was still laughing.
Youngjae pins Junhong downs and threatens in mock anger, “you-you’d better stop laughing! Unless you want a kiss! On your lips!”
Junhong smothers his laughter but he can’t help the chuckles that slip through at the other boy’s scrunched up face in an effort to look fierce. Junhong doesn’t know if it’s that face or the adrenaline from the dancing that makes him do it, but the next thing he knows is that he leans up and presses a kiss to the other boy’s full cheek.
“You’re cute too,” Junhong tells him.
~
Things sort off go back to normal between Youngjae and Daehyun after that. Youngjae tries to go out more often and gets used to the constant tiredness and the dogged ache in his neck and shoulders. Daehyun invites Youngjae to watch their practices but doesn’t push it when Youngjae declines.
Youngjae does go, eventually, when he was unable to conjure any more excuses to put it off. To his pleasant surprise, however, he learns that he should definitely not listen to campus rumors anymore.
Yongguk has a cool and down-to-earth air about him that makes Youngjae relax. And Himchan has a certain confidence and likability that came from years of being an ulzzang and therefore makes it easy for anyone to be friends with him.
Daehyun shoots him a look after the introductions and Youngjae nods, imperceptibly but enough for Daehyun to understand. He’d scored.
They quickly turn to practice under the directions of Yongguk and Youngjae is invited to sit a listen carefully to ‘give constructive feedback’.
They sing an old ballad, remade to fit the rock slash hip-hop feel of the band and Youngjae can’t help but tap his feet along to the beat. Daehyun had really scored.
“Hey, Daehyun says you can sing too, why don’t you try a song with us?” Himchan speaks up after they’ve run through the song a couple more times and are sitting at the coffee table snacking up a storm.
Youngjae laughs lightly and waves at Himchan, “nah, I’m not as good as Daehyun. Maybe another time.”
Himchan nods amicably and Youngjae turns the conversation back to Himchan, “I heard you were a classical music student. What made you want to do this?”
Himchan explains the merits of trying something new and finding your true path, enjoying the fact that he’d found a willing listener in Youngjae.
The new semester begins with a bang - assignments and projects pour in and it almost seems as if they never ended.
Youngjae is waylaid on his way to his study date with Daehyun by a junior he knows from his trigonometry class. She holds out a pair of tickets to 4 Men’s upcoming concert.
“Sunbae, I heard they’re your favorite group. Do you want to go together?” The invitation is clear in her eyes.
Youngjae blinks in surprise, he had not seen this coming. Son Na Eun is both stunning and smart. About a million guys on campus would consider themselves lucky if she had asked them. Somehow, Youngjae wasn’t. He tries to think of a time when he’d given her any hint that he would say yes. He couldn’t think of any.
“Uh… sorry, I don’t think I’ll be able to make that date. Maybe you could ask Jaebum? I’m sure he’d love to go.”
“Ah sure,” she chirps and bounces away. If she felt any disappointment at all, it didn’t show.
“So, you turned Na Eun down too.” Daehyun says in an accusatory tone as soon as Youngjae slips into his seat with his tray of food.
“You know, I’m starting to worry for you. You even turned Hoya sunbae-nim down last week.” Daehyun continues, stealing a fry off Youngjae’s tray. Youngjae tries not to think too hard about Daehyun’s words and fails miserably.
“You really think there’s something wrong with me?”
Daehyun stares at his best friend. He’d been joking but Youngjae obviously didn’t think so. Daehyun watches as the other boy rubs at his eyes. In the past few weeks, it seemed as if Youngjae’s eye bags had become a permanent fixture on his face despite having been on holiday.
“No, of course not. Though you have to admit, you’re a little hard to get to know.”
Youngjae looks up at Daehyun with a questioning look. Daehyun shrugs, “it was hard for me too, to know what you were thinking. You were friendly, always. And helpful, and thoughtful but it always seemed as if you thought people wouldn’t like you as much as you liked them.”
“It took a lot of persistence to be friends with you, y’know,” Daehyun says lightly but Youngae hears the tiny tinge of regret in his words.
Daehyun trails off and both boys are blanketed in the silence of deep thought.
It’s a while later that Daehyun breaks the silence, “well, if anything, I guess you’ve prepared me for Yongguk. I literally have to wheedle important things out of him. So, thank you chingu-yah!”
Daehyun reaches over to steal some more fries and returns to reading his music sheets. Youngjae follows suit with his textbooks, only it wasn’t as productive for him than it was for Daehyun.
~
“Have you ever been in love?”
Youngjae’s chuckles - it figures Junhong would ask this question. He gives it a bit of thought before answering.
“Sure, I love my friends but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking.”
“It’s not,” Junhong affirms and his unvoiced question lingers.
“Have you?” Youngjae asks the younger boy, noting the unhappy look on his face.
“I don’t remember. But I hope I was.” He says wistfully.
Youngjae turns over to lie on his belly, propping himself up with his elbows.
“What kind of person do you hope he is?”
Junhong thinks, happy smile returning to his face, making Youngjae smile too. Junhong has a pretty smile.
“Kind. Happy… cheerful. Has a nice laugh. Smart with pretty eyes. I think a musician would be nice, or a singer.”
Youngjae laughs. He picks a couple of wildflowers near him and throws it at Junhong, “such high expectations you have, mister.”
Junhong blushes and tries to protest but gives up when he sees Youngae smug grin -he’d never be able to beat Youngjae in an argument. Instead he pushes the boy over and pins him to the ground by sitting on his legs, tickling his ribs with long fingers. Youngjae yelps and struggles but clearly he was no match for Junhong’s weight.
So he reaches up and pulls the other boy by his collar so that they were face-to-face, with merely inches between their noses. As Youngjae had predicted, Junhong stops tickling and blinks hard several times, heart beating a mile a minute.
An electric charge buzzes in the air around them as Youngjae scans Junhong’s face - all pale, smooth skin and long eyelashes. Perfect teeth and red lips. Junhong lets his eyes flicker shut in anticipation. Youngjae tugs gently at the collar, tilting his head to the side as he captures Junhong’s lips with his.
It’s nice. So nice.
Youngjae’s lips are soft… and skilled. Junhong kisses back, eagerly. He wants more, so much more.
~
That night was arguably the worst night for Youngjae ever since the insomnia started. He twists and turns as usual, tired but sleep a faraway dream. Tonight is worse because Youngjae couldn’t study or focus on anything else that might take his mind off his conversation with Daehyun.
Was he really that difficult to be with? Did he close people out? Was that why he lost Daehyun too?
Youngjae groans in frustration and banishes the thoughts - it’s really not something he wanted to think about tonight. He resorts to lying lifelessly on the couch and watching reruns of The Master’s Sun.
It’s close to dawn when Youngjae gets a message from Daehyun.
You coming for practice?
Youngjae really wasn’t in the mood for meeting up with people today, much less watch Daehyun and Yongguk make oogly eyes at each other. But then, he could really use a distraction and some loud music might help knock him out.
Yeah, I’ll be there.
…I’ll be really grumpy.
Youngjae takes a shower and puts on some of his better clothes. Despite his warning, he didn’t want to scare any more people away.
Whatever that meant.
Youngjae also stops by the cafeteria and downs two shots, feeling the caffeine wake him up a little bit more.
They’re already practicing when Youngjae enters, the music loud and comforting to Youngjae’s soul. Daehyun waves from inside the booth and Yongguk nods in acknowledgement. Youngjae waves his coffee cup and settles into the sofa to savor the music.
“We’re going to the hospital.” Daehyun tells him after practicing the song a few more times.
Youngjae looks up, significantly more tired than before from the almost sleep. It’s only Daehyun now, the others having gone to prepare or something.
Seeing Youngjae’s face Daehyun quickly adds, “you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. We’re just going to visit Yongguk’s friend? His almost protégé or something.”
“What’s wrong with him?” Youngjae asks, not really wanting to know but out of courtesy and so called manners.
“He was in that accident? You know, the skateboarder at the quad. He messed up a stunt or something and landed on his head. Knocked him out and he’s been in a coma for 3 months now.”
Youngjae remembers, the accident had meant new skateboarding rules on the courtyard.
“Anyway, he’s name is Junhong. Does that ring a bell? Think that was the guy you’d been asking about a couple of months back.”
Youngjae remembers. He remembers.
~
Youngjae clutches the envelope happily to his chest. He couldn’t believe someone had just given him two tickets to Musiq Soulchild’s solo concert on the weekend that exams end.
“I just can’t believe it, who could it be?” Youngjae gushes to Daehyun, caught up entirely in the mystery of it that he didn’t notice the rushed but nervous footsteps coming in his direction.
“A secret admirer, perhaps?” Daehyun guesses, nudging Youngjae in the ribs with his elbow. Youngjae was quite popular amongst the girls. Almost as popular as he was.
Youngjae rolls his eyes, stupidly modest as always, “as if.”
Daehyun rolls his eyes, stopping abruptly in his tracks as he sees a tall, blonde boy striding over very purposefully.
“Anyway, you’d better save the date, Jung Daehyun. I’ll never tutor you again if you ditch me this time.”
The boy steps in front of Youngjae, making Youngjae stop as well. He has to look up to see a pale, round face. Bright, blonde curls almost poking a pair of brown eyes.
“S-Sunbaenim, I-I”
Youngjae blinks, and leans closer, not having heard the boy. The boy starts to step back but stops himself, lips pulled down unhappily.
“I- was just wondering, if you’d gotten-” The boy glances down at Youngjae’s hands. Youngjae looks down too and opens his hands to reveal the lone envelope.
This seems to make the boy grow flustered and he blurts, “u-umm, did you by any chance get a note?”
“A note?” Youngjae asks, maybe a little too loudly because the boy looks absolutely frightened.
“N-Nevermind,” the boy almost shouts and scuttles away, leaving Youngjae and Daehyun in a state of confusion.
~
“It’s time.”
Junhong glances over at the other boy, “what do you mean?”
“It’s time for you to go, Junhong-ah.”
“I- is that my name? How do you know my name?” Junhong feels his heartbeat quickening, panic surges up. There was something in Youngjae’s tone in look that Junhong didn’t like.
Youngjae reaches out, lays a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Junhong-ah.”
“Just close your eyes.”
Junhong looks into the other boy’s eyes, the same clear brown as the first time he’d seen them. He’s afraid; he thinks he’s never been more afraid. But he does as Youngjae asks anyway.
“It’s okay, it’s just time to go home.”
Junhong heard the smile in Youngjae’s voice, then seconds later, he feels a warm pair of lips against his.
“When you do, don’t forget me.”
~
Junhong smiles at the members of his crew, giving each one a high-5. A calming breeze ruffles his hair and makes his shirt stick to his back. Being back on his skateboard has never felt so good.
“I thought you were supposed to be taking it easy?” One of them yells jokingly.
Junhong smiles and shrugs. He was but he couldn’t resist today- something good was going to happen today. He could feel it in his bones.
“Let’s skate.”
Nevertheless, Junhong takes it slow, doing simple tricks and skating in rounds just to get the feel of it first. He’s completely focused so that he doesn’t notice the boy standing off to the side, watching him.
He lands his trick, grinning to himself proudly when he finally notices the boy leaning against the corner of a low brick wall. The boy pushes himself up, and walks towards Junhong.
“Hey,” he calls, with a lopsided, confident smile, “nice trick.”
“Um… thanks?” Junhong can’t believe the boy’s talking to him.
A blush rises to the boy’s cheeks at Junhong’s non-plussed reaction and he ducks to rub his neck nervously.
“Ah- well, I just- I was just eating my lunch over there and saw you skating. I thought you were really good.”
Junhong looks behind the boy, where the rest of his crew was performing much harder tricks. He raises an eyebrow. “Umm… thanks, sunbae-nim. Is there anything else you needed?” Junhong tries to be polite.
Youngjae’s mouth opens and closes several times, eyebrows scrunched in concentration, before he finally blurts out.
“Well, I heard you like them. Would you like to go with me?”
He pulls out two tickets to Dr.Dre’s upcoming concert and it’s Junhong’s turn to stare at him, mouth agape.
“I- Are you asking me out on a date?”
The blush on Youngjae’s cheeks get significantly more pronounced but he puffs out his chest and lifts his chin almost defiantly, “yes, I am. So are you agreeing?”
Junhong discretely stretches both hands behind him and pinches his forearm, hard. Nothing happens, this isn’t a dream.
“Yes. Yes, Youngjae sunbae-nim, I’d love to go with you.”
Youngjae releases the breath he’d been holding, “great, then… I guess I’ll see you then?”
Junhong laughs and gets off his skateboard. He gestures to it, “I’m not supposed to be riding so would you like to try?”
Youngjae smiles, “sure… You’re gonna have to hold my hands though.”
Junhong grins at the older male, holding out his hands, “gladly.”
Author: crazybananatr3e
Characters/Pairing: daejae, younglo, bangdae
Rating: PG13
Warnings: none
Wordcount: ~8k
Summary: Youngjae's life sucks. He can't sleep and life just sucks.
Written for the
thebrowniebunch fic exchange round 3.
Part II
~
Youngjae gazes out at the waves, crashing against each other then undulating gently away. He doesn’t remember the last time he went to the beach but he knows he goes way less than he should.
Youngjae looks back to see Junhong squatting in the middle of some giant rocks, with a silly smile on his face. He walks up to the younger boy to peek over his shoulder.
Junhong had caught a couple of baby crabs that were fighting each other with their mini pincers. Youngjae pokes one of them in the back, giving the other an advantage and he pushes his opponent out of the ring.
Youngjae cheers excitedly in circles at his group-win as Junhong pets the defeated crab comfortingly on its back. Junhong returns the other crab to his home and the two quickly make up, scuttling back into their holes and speaking no more of their strange encounter.
“This place is so beautiful.”
Junhong smiles, unable to explain the surge of pride that comes up at Youngjae’s comment. The sign off to the side reads ‘Oedaldo Love Island’ and makes Junhong blush a little.
“I wonder if you were born here,” Youngjae says lightly.
Junhong doesn’t reply. He’s found a tiny frog in the cleft of a rock and has to reach in to get it.
Youngjae smiles, “hey, aren’t you curious?”
Junhong shrugs and places his new friend on the rock, staring at it staring at him. “I guess…” He replies noncommittally.
Youngjae lets out an amused noise as he rises to his feet. Leaning down, he presses a kiss to Junhong’s cheek, “I’m gonna go for a swim.”
He pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground. He wades out into the water, shivering slightly at its cool touch.
Junhong watches the other boy’s bare back and broad shoulders grow smaller. When he looks back to the rock, the frog has hopped away. Junhong follows after the boy, throwing his own shirt down and running for the ocean.
~
Youngjae is pretty sure he’s dying. No, there couldn’t be so much misery in death. Youngjae gives up glancing at the clock but moans and lays his head down on the books in front of him. He closes his eyes, convincing himself not to fight the images of the fair skinned boy with pretty dimples. He lets the vision swim before his eyes and tries not to think about how his name is at the tip of the tongue. Youngjae keeps himself preoccupied like this, buried under a pile of books and handwritten notes so that he doesn’t hear Daehyun come through his door, shaking his head and tsk-ing at the mountain of ramyun cups next to Youngjae.
Daehyun kicks away the dirty laundry and a stack of printed journals to unload his bags onto the coffee table. He sneaks up behind the other boy to look over his shoulder. His notes are a mumble jumble of drawings and terms Daehyun should know but has long lost the patience for.
“Boo!” Daehyun whispers and when Youngjae still doesn’t respond, Daehyun leans over to peck Youngjae’s cheek.
It does the trick and Youngjae jumps.
“Hey there stranger,” Daehyun says with a frown. Youngjae’s eyebags are the worse he’d ever seen on him.
“Dae? Wh-” Youngjae has to stop and rub his eyes while Daehyun just manages to pull himself away to grab some utensils from the kitchen cupboard - Youngjae was in desperate need of saving.
“What are you doing here?” Daehyun can barely hear Youngjae’s still dazed voice from the kitchen but he rolls his eyes.
“When was the last time you a real meal? When was the last time you slept in your bed?” Daehyun returns with two bowls and forks and spoons from mismatched sets.
Without looking at Youngjae, Daehyun grabs the containers out of the bag and almost too suddenly Youngjae is reminded of how hungry he is. His stomach grumbles as the smell of chicken and deokbokki fills his tiny living room and Daehyun smirks.
“Here,” Daehyun offers him the utensils and settles down to eat. Youngjae swallows hard, eyes prickling with mystery tears. He frowns and brushes his eyes roughly with his sleeve. Gruffly, he sits down to eat, not venturing to even look at Daehyun though the word ‘thanks’ is at his lips, threatening to spill over but for his stubborn pride.
It isn’t after a few pieces before Youngjae finally realizes that Daehyun hasn’t said a word since sitting down and Daehyun always talks when he eats.
He talks about his day and what he did and how he finds it amazing that Youngjae’s still sane with the coursework that that professor had just piled on them.
Youngjae scans the other uneasily. Daehyun was eating with his usual eagerness but there was just the slightest tension in his shoulders and his mouth. And a closed-ness about him that Youngjae hadn’t seen since he’d first seen Daehyun as the nervous transfer from Busan.
“Why are you here?” Youngjae asks finally, carefully, trying to maintain a casual tone.
Daehyun shrugs, tone light, “well, since my best friend of 6 years forgot my birthday and has ignored every single on of my calls and messages for the past week, I decided to check and see if he was still, y’know, alive.” Daehyun’s eyes flicker up to stare at Youngjae, accusation open in his face.
Youngjae has to look away, shame and regret rushing through him, “sorry.”
“Happy birthday,” he offers, not knowing what else to say. He had no excuses. Not even the fact that his sleep cycle was practically non-existant. Or that some strange guy was showing up in his non-dreams. Or worse still, that him on the verge of actually dating Bang Yongguk was messing him up even more than the lack of sleep.
Daehyun stares hard at his friend, “is everything alright?”
Youngjae doesn’t respond for a moment and then shakes his head. When he looks back at Daehyun, it seems as if his eye bags had grown even bigger.
“I just haven’t been sleeping well. I’m tired as hell. I don’t know what’s happening.” Youngjae’s frustration seeps into his voice, annoying him further.
Daehyun nods - Youngjae had been complaining about that for the past week or so. He perks up and rummages in his other bags that Youngjae hadn’t noticed.
“That’s why I brought this! C’mon, you owe me a drink.” Daehyun brings out a can of cold beer and waves it in Youngjae’s face, mood somehow restored with Youngjae’s explanation. Youngjae acquiesces and can’t help but smile how easily his best friend was satisfied.
They drink for hours, not necessarily talking but enjoying the brief reprieve from their studies. Daehyun was back to his usual pleasant self and Youngjae feels himself relax under the influence of the alcohol and sleepiness.
~
There’s music playing overhead - loud and comforting to Junhong. Around him are flowers of every color. Bright purple, red and orange come together in an electrifying mix.
Junhong can’t help but hear the deep beat of the music. Unknowingly, but in an entirely delightful way to Junhong, his feet start moving. Then, his hands and then, his body. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from but he doesn’t care. He just dances, letting the music dictate the next movement.
When the music ends, his labored breathing plays in his ears and- clapping. Junhong whirls around. Not unexpectedly, Youngjae is there, smiling as he makes his ways over to Junhong.
“Woah, you’ve got some moves there, cutie.” Youngjae winks at him, making Junhong laugh despite himself.
“What was that move? The one where you did with your hips?” Youngjae asks, as he thrusts his own hips a couple of times, making Junhong laugh even harder. It’s clear Youngjae wasn’t a dancer.
The older boy narrows his eyes at Junhong, “are you making fun of me, dancer boy?”
Junhong clutches his middle, “n-no! Definitely not,” he gasps between breaths. Youngjae tackles him to the ground but Junhong can hardly find offense with older boy. Not when he was still laughing.
Youngjae pins Junhong downs and threatens in mock anger, “you-you’d better stop laughing! Unless you want a kiss! On your lips!”
Junhong smothers his laughter but he can’t help the chuckles that slip through at the other boy’s scrunched up face in an effort to look fierce. Junhong doesn’t know if it’s that face or the adrenaline from the dancing that makes him do it, but the next thing he knows is that he leans up and presses a kiss to the other boy’s full cheek.
“You’re cute too,” Junhong tells him.
~
Things sort off go back to normal between Youngjae and Daehyun after that. Youngjae tries to go out more often and gets used to the constant tiredness and the dogged ache in his neck and shoulders. Daehyun invites Youngjae to watch their practices but doesn’t push it when Youngjae declines.
Youngjae does go, eventually, when he was unable to conjure any more excuses to put it off. To his pleasant surprise, however, he learns that he should definitely not listen to campus rumors anymore.
Yongguk has a cool and down-to-earth air about him that makes Youngjae relax. And Himchan has a certain confidence and likability that came from years of being an ulzzang and therefore makes it easy for anyone to be friends with him.
Daehyun shoots him a look after the introductions and Youngjae nods, imperceptibly but enough for Daehyun to understand. He’d scored.
They quickly turn to practice under the directions of Yongguk and Youngjae is invited to sit a listen carefully to ‘give constructive feedback’.
They sing an old ballad, remade to fit the rock slash hip-hop feel of the band and Youngjae can’t help but tap his feet along to the beat. Daehyun had really scored.
“Hey, Daehyun says you can sing too, why don’t you try a song with us?” Himchan speaks up after they’ve run through the song a couple more times and are sitting at the coffee table snacking up a storm.
Youngjae laughs lightly and waves at Himchan, “nah, I’m not as good as Daehyun. Maybe another time.”
Himchan nods amicably and Youngjae turns the conversation back to Himchan, “I heard you were a classical music student. What made you want to do this?”
Himchan explains the merits of trying something new and finding your true path, enjoying the fact that he’d found a willing listener in Youngjae.
The new semester begins with a bang - assignments and projects pour in and it almost seems as if they never ended.
Youngjae is waylaid on his way to his study date with Daehyun by a junior he knows from his trigonometry class. She holds out a pair of tickets to 4 Men’s upcoming concert.
“Sunbae, I heard they’re your favorite group. Do you want to go together?” The invitation is clear in her eyes.
Youngjae blinks in surprise, he had not seen this coming. Son Na Eun is both stunning and smart. About a million guys on campus would consider themselves lucky if she had asked them. Somehow, Youngjae wasn’t. He tries to think of a time when he’d given her any hint that he would say yes. He couldn’t think of any.
“Uh… sorry, I don’t think I’ll be able to make that date. Maybe you could ask Jaebum? I’m sure he’d love to go.”
“Ah sure,” she chirps and bounces away. If she felt any disappointment at all, it didn’t show.
“So, you turned Na Eun down too.” Daehyun says in an accusatory tone as soon as Youngjae slips into his seat with his tray of food.
“You know, I’m starting to worry for you. You even turned Hoya sunbae-nim down last week.” Daehyun continues, stealing a fry off Youngjae’s tray. Youngjae tries not to think too hard about Daehyun’s words and fails miserably.
“You really think there’s something wrong with me?”
Daehyun stares at his best friend. He’d been joking but Youngjae obviously didn’t think so. Daehyun watches as the other boy rubs at his eyes. In the past few weeks, it seemed as if Youngjae’s eye bags had become a permanent fixture on his face despite having been on holiday.
“No, of course not. Though you have to admit, you’re a little hard to get to know.”
Youngjae looks up at Daehyun with a questioning look. Daehyun shrugs, “it was hard for me too, to know what you were thinking. You were friendly, always. And helpful, and thoughtful but it always seemed as if you thought people wouldn’t like you as much as you liked them.”
“It took a lot of persistence to be friends with you, y’know,” Daehyun says lightly but Youngae hears the tiny tinge of regret in his words.
Daehyun trails off and both boys are blanketed in the silence of deep thought.
It’s a while later that Daehyun breaks the silence, “well, if anything, I guess you’ve prepared me for Yongguk. I literally have to wheedle important things out of him. So, thank you chingu-yah!”
Daehyun reaches over to steal some more fries and returns to reading his music sheets. Youngjae follows suit with his textbooks, only it wasn’t as productive for him than it was for Daehyun.
~
“Have you ever been in love?”
Youngjae’s chuckles - it figures Junhong would ask this question. He gives it a bit of thought before answering.
“Sure, I love my friends but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking.”
“It’s not,” Junhong affirms and his unvoiced question lingers.
“Have you?” Youngjae asks the younger boy, noting the unhappy look on his face.
“I don’t remember. But I hope I was.” He says wistfully.
Youngjae turns over to lie on his belly, propping himself up with his elbows.
“What kind of person do you hope he is?”
Junhong thinks, happy smile returning to his face, making Youngjae smile too. Junhong has a pretty smile.
“Kind. Happy… cheerful. Has a nice laugh. Smart with pretty eyes. I think a musician would be nice, or a singer.”
Youngjae laughs. He picks a couple of wildflowers near him and throws it at Junhong, “such high expectations you have, mister.”
Junhong blushes and tries to protest but gives up when he sees Youngae smug grin -he’d never be able to beat Youngjae in an argument. Instead he pushes the boy over and pins him to the ground by sitting on his legs, tickling his ribs with long fingers. Youngjae yelps and struggles but clearly he was no match for Junhong’s weight.
So he reaches up and pulls the other boy by his collar so that they were face-to-face, with merely inches between their noses. As Youngjae had predicted, Junhong stops tickling and blinks hard several times, heart beating a mile a minute.
An electric charge buzzes in the air around them as Youngjae scans Junhong’s face - all pale, smooth skin and long eyelashes. Perfect teeth and red lips. Junhong lets his eyes flicker shut in anticipation. Youngjae tugs gently at the collar, tilting his head to the side as he captures Junhong’s lips with his.
It’s nice. So nice.
Youngjae’s lips are soft… and skilled. Junhong kisses back, eagerly. He wants more, so much more.
~
That night was arguably the worst night for Youngjae ever since the insomnia started. He twists and turns as usual, tired but sleep a faraway dream. Tonight is worse because Youngjae couldn’t study or focus on anything else that might take his mind off his conversation with Daehyun.
Was he really that difficult to be with? Did he close people out? Was that why he lost Daehyun too?
Youngjae groans in frustration and banishes the thoughts - it’s really not something he wanted to think about tonight. He resorts to lying lifelessly on the couch and watching reruns of The Master’s Sun.
It’s close to dawn when Youngjae gets a message from Daehyun.
You coming for practice?
Youngjae really wasn’t in the mood for meeting up with people today, much less watch Daehyun and Yongguk make oogly eyes at each other. But then, he could really use a distraction and some loud music might help knock him out.
Yeah, I’ll be there.
…I’ll be really grumpy.
Youngjae takes a shower and puts on some of his better clothes. Despite his warning, he didn’t want to scare any more people away.
Whatever that meant.
Youngjae also stops by the cafeteria and downs two shots, feeling the caffeine wake him up a little bit more.
They’re already practicing when Youngjae enters, the music loud and comforting to Youngjae’s soul. Daehyun waves from inside the booth and Yongguk nods in acknowledgement. Youngjae waves his coffee cup and settles into the sofa to savor the music.
“We’re going to the hospital.” Daehyun tells him after practicing the song a few more times.
Youngjae looks up, significantly more tired than before from the almost sleep. It’s only Daehyun now, the others having gone to prepare or something.
Seeing Youngjae’s face Daehyun quickly adds, “you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. We’re just going to visit Yongguk’s friend? His almost protégé or something.”
“What’s wrong with him?” Youngjae asks, not really wanting to know but out of courtesy and so called manners.
“He was in that accident? You know, the skateboarder at the quad. He messed up a stunt or something and landed on his head. Knocked him out and he’s been in a coma for 3 months now.”
Youngjae remembers, the accident had meant new skateboarding rules on the courtyard.
“Anyway, he’s name is Junhong. Does that ring a bell? Think that was the guy you’d been asking about a couple of months back.”
Youngjae remembers. He remembers.
~
Youngjae clutches the envelope happily to his chest. He couldn’t believe someone had just given him two tickets to Musiq Soulchild’s solo concert on the weekend that exams end.
“I just can’t believe it, who could it be?” Youngjae gushes to Daehyun, caught up entirely in the mystery of it that he didn’t notice the rushed but nervous footsteps coming in his direction.
“A secret admirer, perhaps?” Daehyun guesses, nudging Youngjae in the ribs with his elbow. Youngjae was quite popular amongst the girls. Almost as popular as he was.
Youngjae rolls his eyes, stupidly modest as always, “as if.”
Daehyun rolls his eyes, stopping abruptly in his tracks as he sees a tall, blonde boy striding over very purposefully.
“Anyway, you’d better save the date, Jung Daehyun. I’ll never tutor you again if you ditch me this time.”
The boy steps in front of Youngjae, making Youngjae stop as well. He has to look up to see a pale, round face. Bright, blonde curls almost poking a pair of brown eyes.
“S-Sunbaenim, I-I”
Youngjae blinks, and leans closer, not having heard the boy. The boy starts to step back but stops himself, lips pulled down unhappily.
“I- was just wondering, if you’d gotten-” The boy glances down at Youngjae’s hands. Youngjae looks down too and opens his hands to reveal the lone envelope.
This seems to make the boy grow flustered and he blurts, “u-umm, did you by any chance get a note?”
“A note?” Youngjae asks, maybe a little too loudly because the boy looks absolutely frightened.
“N-Nevermind,” the boy almost shouts and scuttles away, leaving Youngjae and Daehyun in a state of confusion.
~
“It’s time.”
Junhong glances over at the other boy, “what do you mean?”
“It’s time for you to go, Junhong-ah.”
“I- is that my name? How do you know my name?” Junhong feels his heartbeat quickening, panic surges up. There was something in Youngjae’s tone in look that Junhong didn’t like.
Youngjae reaches out, lays a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Junhong-ah.”
“Just close your eyes.”
Junhong looks into the other boy’s eyes, the same clear brown as the first time he’d seen them. He’s afraid; he thinks he’s never been more afraid. But he does as Youngjae asks anyway.
“It’s okay, it’s just time to go home.”
Junhong heard the smile in Youngjae’s voice, then seconds later, he feels a warm pair of lips against his.
“When you do, don’t forget me.”
~
Junhong smiles at the members of his crew, giving each one a high-5. A calming breeze ruffles his hair and makes his shirt stick to his back. Being back on his skateboard has never felt so good.
“I thought you were supposed to be taking it easy?” One of them yells jokingly.
Junhong smiles and shrugs. He was but he couldn’t resist today- something good was going to happen today. He could feel it in his bones.
“Let’s skate.”
Nevertheless, Junhong takes it slow, doing simple tricks and skating in rounds just to get the feel of it first. He’s completely focused so that he doesn’t notice the boy standing off to the side, watching him.
He lands his trick, grinning to himself proudly when he finally notices the boy leaning against the corner of a low brick wall. The boy pushes himself up, and walks towards Junhong.
“Hey,” he calls, with a lopsided, confident smile, “nice trick.”
“Um… thanks?” Junhong can’t believe the boy’s talking to him.
A blush rises to the boy’s cheeks at Junhong’s non-plussed reaction and he ducks to rub his neck nervously.
“Ah- well, I just- I was just eating my lunch over there and saw you skating. I thought you were really good.”
Junhong looks behind the boy, where the rest of his crew was performing much harder tricks. He raises an eyebrow. “Umm… thanks, sunbae-nim. Is there anything else you needed?” Junhong tries to be polite.
Youngjae’s mouth opens and closes several times, eyebrows scrunched in concentration, before he finally blurts out.
“Well, I heard you like them. Would you like to go with me?”
He pulls out two tickets to Dr.Dre’s upcoming concert and it’s Junhong’s turn to stare at him, mouth agape.
“I- Are you asking me out on a date?”
The blush on Youngjae’s cheeks get significantly more pronounced but he puffs out his chest and lifts his chin almost defiantly, “yes, I am. So are you agreeing?”
Junhong discretely stretches both hands behind him and pinches his forearm, hard. Nothing happens, this isn’t a dream.
“Yes. Yes, Youngjae sunbae-nim, I’d love to go with you.”
Youngjae releases the breath he’d been holding, “great, then… I guess I’ll see you then?”
Junhong laughs and gets off his skateboard. He gestures to it, “I’m not supposed to be riding so would you like to try?”
Youngjae smiles, “sure… You’re gonna have to hold my hands though.”
Junhong grins at the older male, holding out his hands, “gladly.”