Your Guardian Angel [Sequel to "These Words"]
Title: Your Guardian Angel [SEQUEL to "These Words"]
Author: crazy_x_deppie
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ryden
POV: Ryan, and then 3rd.
Summary: Sometimes, all you need is a little love.
Disclaimer: Dude, if I own them, they would be under my couch right now, eating oreos and drinking Dr.Pepper. And, of course, they help me with the fiction. xD
Author Notes: Okay, so, it was going to be "Thunder", and then it was going to be "Hero/Heroine", and THEN it was going to be "Five Minutes To Midnight" all by Boys Like Girls. But, then I changed it when flipping through my iPod and I saw this song. :D Title credit and lyrics go to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Lyrics credited to plyrics [dot] com because again, I was too lazy to just put them down myself. xD
Dedication(s): sympathynotlove, sateenmusta, bdensxbitch, ursadiana, omg_its_em, iluvbdenurie121, yay_for_gays, sallyshade, be_my_pikachu. For suggesting/supporting this sequel. :D Couldn't have done it without all of you guys. :D And panic_smile for reading it first and supporting me when I thought I wouldn't do a good job. :D <3 xoxo
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
Love is overrated. The most simple of things, yet the most complicated. The thing that all bands now-a-days write about. It's in every song, whether it be a break-up song, or a love song itself. It's everywhere you go. It's in the fairytales that you wished you could be in when you were younger. It's what you dream about at night. It's what we all wish for. It's what we all hope for. It's what we all strive for. It isn't just acceptance, it isn't just happiness, and it isn't just that peaceful feeling on the mornings where the birds are outside singing and you think that nothing is wrong with the world, at the moment.
Therefor, when writing this letter back to you, Brendon, I want you to know that love is a thing that can make you, or break you. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate your letter. Because, that would be lying. But, you know me. I can't go replying to this letter without telling you exactly how I feel.
Love is something I, myself, cannot grasp. It's too intricate, too difficult, too rebellious. Love is something one cannot control themselves. It happens when it happens, where it happens, how it happens. It's something that, you should tell someone when you are completely certain that it is there. But, not only there, everywhere.
Brendon Boyd Urie, you are the single most person who can make me forget there is other existence. Whenever you enter a room, I swear that life itself stops for the two of us. Up until this day, I was too afraid of my own feelings to even think about them, let alone write you a letter about it. I was scared. Scared because these feelings, they are not normal. Love doesn't even come remotely close to half of it. A fourth of it, if you will.
I'm sure that this letter isn't exactly coherent in itself. You can blame that on my shaking fingers. But, can you really blame me? I mean, I'm sitting here, writing back to the most precious thing in this Earth. The most precious thing to me. You mean more than the world to me. More than anything that exists. More than life itself. Just the knowledge that you are in the other room at this very moment, causes an overwhelming sensation of happiness to run through me. You don't even have to be in the same room as me, and my heart beats widly at the mere thought of you.
Perfection is also overrated. I mean, how can someone describe you as perfect, when perfect is the weakest adjective of all? You're so much more than perfection. When you walk into a room, all horrible and distraught things, seem to liven up. You can make anyone smile with your mere image. You do the same to me. No matter how down, how sad, how depressed I am, just your voice can take me to heaven and back.
Your voice. Oh god, what a beautiful and wonderous thing. There is nothing as golden and beautiful as that. Your voice could light up heaven and the Earth, I swear it. I suppose that's why I love your singing so much. It's all I can do, during a performance, to just stand there, and not stride across the stage and kiss you like there's no tomorrow. It's like the Gods themselves can't sing any better.
You said you wanted to curl up beside me and pretend like the world isn't there, and you wouldn't speak unless I told you to. Brendon, I swear, all you'd ever have to do is crawl out of your bunk and do that. Don't hesitate. You have no idea how happy I'd be if you did that. Hell, you don't even have to be next to me, just curl into my bunk and lay there and I swear to God I'd be the happiest man alive. But, then, can I ask you something? Would it be alright if I just want to lay with you? All I want to do is lay with you somewhere. Just, lay there beside you, listening to you breathe. Listening to your heartbeat. Enjoying your presence. I don't ask for much. I just want to know, that you love me like you say you do. You'll let me lay there, even if you hate me for everything I say and do in this letter.
Brendon, last year, my father died. And, of everything that happened, you were the best comfort I had. You never said a word, you just let me cry on your shoulder. You didn't tell me I wasn't a man because I wasn't being strong, you didn't give me those "I'm sorry" 's that everyone else gave, and you didn't give me the worthless sympathy everyone else gave. No, you gave me something far better. Something far more valuable. You gave me your courage. The silence we shared was filled with unspoken words. Unspoken words of encouragement. Maybe no one else could see this, but I did. And I know you did. That's why, Brendon, you're the only person I will cry in front of. You're the only person I would cry for.
Yeah, I have cried for you. Many a time. I cried for you silently after that show, when you were hit with the bottle in the head. It scared me, you know. I've cried for you at night, because I couldn't have you. I want you to be happy, Brendon, and if you were happy with Audrey, then I forced myself to be happy. But I wasn't. I loathed her. She had you, was able to hold you, was able to kiss you, and not me. Countless nights, I lay in bed, wondering if you ever thought about me like that. I guess, somewhere in my mind, I still do.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Brendon, if you were't alive, I swear I wouldn't be either. If you ever died, I know I would along with you. If you tell me tomorrow, that you want to off yourself, then let's do it together. I want to be the one you die with, the one you live your whole life with and then end it with. I swear to God, and everyone else up there, that nothing else in the world matters, as long as I'm with you. Brendon, I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but, I don't want to be with anyone else. I just want you, and you alone. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want, for lack of better words, to be the one you lean on. The one you rely on. The one you can depend on, the one you come to when you've had a bad day. I want you to lie beside me every night, and I want you to be there when I wake up in the morning. I want you to be the one I whisper "I love you" to at night, and I want you to be the one to whisper it back. I want to stand upon a moutain and scream it to the whole world, that Brendon Boyd Urie is mine, and mine forever. And if that's what it takes to get you, than that's what I'll do.
After all my incoherent babbling, this is what the letter comes down to. The big finale, right? And, in all honesty, I have no idea what to say. Telling you "I love you too" just sounds, too inappropriate. Because that could never describe how I feel.
I want to be your mountain.
I want to be your rock.
I want to be your best friend.
I want to be your lover.
I want to be your everything.
I want to be that thing that you hold onto at night.
I want to be that precious something.
I want to love you like no one has before, and ever will.
I want to hold onto you at night.
I want to kiss you, and show you I mean what I say.
I want to protect you from everything obscene and unclean.
I want to be there for you, no matter what. And I always will be.
I want to live with you forever, and not give a damn what everyone else says and thinks.
But, most importantly, Brendon.
I want to be your guardian angel.
And one day, when I die, I swear I will be.
I'd watch over you with pride. Proud that I, of all people, could protect you the way that I wanted. I'd be proud that you're down here, on Earth, living, and I can be up here to save you when you fall. Help you back up when you are down. Love you more than I can now. Protect you better than I can now.
If you'd let me.
Brendon, what I'm trying to say is.
I'll be your guardian angel. If you'll let me.
Ryan
****************************************
Brendon Boyd Urie sits at his desk, reading a letter over and over. But, you see, it's not just any old letter. It's his favorite one, by far. But, it's more then just a letter. It's his most prized possesion.
It's his letter from Ryan.
He probably looks like a fool, what with his grin from ear to ear, and his eyes watery. But, he's damn right determined. Determined to answer back, in the way only Brendon Urie knows best. So, he jumps up from his position, and runs out of his house and into the cold, rainy night. He takes off down the sidewalk, running as fast as his legs can take him, to his favorite spot. He darts through the park, through the small wooden grove, and past the old oak tree. He dashes up the mountain, and skids to a stop right at the old, decrepit maple tree. The most beautiful, glorious and perfect sight is before him.
His Ryan.
Ryan stares at him, surprised he came up here. And, how exactly did Brendon know he would be here? His train of thought is interrupted by Brendon's voice, soft and quiet.
"You can."
"I-I can? I can what?" Ryan stutters out, scolding himself for being such a whimp.
"You can lay there with me. You can be my rock. You can be my mountain, you can be my everything. You can be my guardian angel. Fuck, Ryan, I don't care as long as you're mine," Brendon says, tears spilling over his eyes and running down his cheeks. "Just, please, be mine." Brendon's lip quivers, and he tries so hard to stop his tears. Ryan gasps at Brendon and bolts forward, wrapping his arms around the younger boy. Ryan buries his face in Brendon's neck, nodding and kissing the skin softly. Brendon wraps his arm around Ryan, pulling him closer as they both stand there in the rain, becoming soaked.
"Brendon?" Ryan whispers, his voice cracking as his own tears start to flow.
"Y-Yes?" Brendon stutters.
"I love you."
"Ryan. You don't know the half of it," Brendon whispers, his smile large and taking over his face. Ryan grins, pulling away from Brendon's neck to rest his forehead against Brendon's.
"But I could. If you'd show me," Ryan whispers. Brendon smiles wider, if it's possible.
"I'd love to." Brendon leans forward a bit, connecting he and Ryan's lips softly. Ryan kisses him back, his hands cupping Brendon's face gently, testing to make sure this is okay. Brendon drops his arms to Ryan's middle, pulling him in closer and kissing him harder. Ryan feels his cheeks redden, and they both pour as much passion and love into the kiss as they can.
***********************
Some say you can find love in the smiles on people's faces. Some say, you can find love in the nice things people do for one another. Some also say, you can find love in the strangest of places, waiting to be dug out and flaunted.
But I say, you can find love on a hill. A hill where, whenever it's raining, you can find two boys standing there, on top of the hill. They're beside this old maple tree, smiling and sitting there, watching the rest of the world with their hands linked.
The most beautiful thing about it?
Their majestic white angel wings.
Author: crazy_x_deppie
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ryden
POV: Ryan, and then 3rd.
Summary: Sometimes, all you need is a little love.
Disclaimer: Dude, if I own them, they would be under my couch right now, eating oreos and drinking Dr.Pepper. And, of course, they help me with the fiction. xD
Author Notes: Okay, so, it was going to be "Thunder", and then it was going to be "Hero/Heroine", and THEN it was going to be "Five Minutes To Midnight" all by Boys Like Girls. But, then I changed it when flipping through my iPod and I saw this song. :D Title credit and lyrics go to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Lyrics credited to plyrics [dot] com because again, I was too lazy to just put them down myself. xD
Dedication(s): sympathynotlove, sateenmusta, bdensxbitch, ursadiana, omg_its_em, iluvbdenurie121, yay_for_gays, sallyshade, be_my_pikachu. For suggesting/supporting this sequel. :D Couldn't have done it without all of you guys. :D And panic_smile for reading it first and supporting me when I thought I wouldn't do a good job. :D <3 xoxo
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
Love is overrated. The most simple of things, yet the most complicated. The thing that all bands now-a-days write about. It's in every song, whether it be a break-up song, or a love song itself. It's everywhere you go. It's in the fairytales that you wished you could be in when you were younger. It's what you dream about at night. It's what we all wish for. It's what we all hope for. It's what we all strive for. It isn't just acceptance, it isn't just happiness, and it isn't just that peaceful feeling on the mornings where the birds are outside singing and you think that nothing is wrong with the world, at the moment.
Therefor, when writing this letter back to you, Brendon, I want you to know that love is a thing that can make you, or break you. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate your letter. Because, that would be lying. But, you know me. I can't go replying to this letter without telling you exactly how I feel.
Love is something I, myself, cannot grasp. It's too intricate, too difficult, too rebellious. Love is something one cannot control themselves. It happens when it happens, where it happens, how it happens. It's something that, you should tell someone when you are completely certain that it is there. But, not only there, everywhere.
Brendon Boyd Urie, you are the single most person who can make me forget there is other existence. Whenever you enter a room, I swear that life itself stops for the two of us. Up until this day, I was too afraid of my own feelings to even think about them, let alone write you a letter about it. I was scared. Scared because these feelings, they are not normal. Love doesn't even come remotely close to half of it. A fourth of it, if you will.
I'm sure that this letter isn't exactly coherent in itself. You can blame that on my shaking fingers. But, can you really blame me? I mean, I'm sitting here, writing back to the most precious thing in this Earth. The most precious thing to me. You mean more than the world to me. More than anything that exists. More than life itself. Just the knowledge that you are in the other room at this very moment, causes an overwhelming sensation of happiness to run through me. You don't even have to be in the same room as me, and my heart beats widly at the mere thought of you.
Perfection is also overrated. I mean, how can someone describe you as perfect, when perfect is the weakest adjective of all? You're so much more than perfection. When you walk into a room, all horrible and distraught things, seem to liven up. You can make anyone smile with your mere image. You do the same to me. No matter how down, how sad, how depressed I am, just your voice can take me to heaven and back.
Your voice. Oh god, what a beautiful and wonderous thing. There is nothing as golden and beautiful as that. Your voice could light up heaven and the Earth, I swear it. I suppose that's why I love your singing so much. It's all I can do, during a performance, to just stand there, and not stride across the stage and kiss you like there's no tomorrow. It's like the Gods themselves can't sing any better.
You said you wanted to curl up beside me and pretend like the world isn't there, and you wouldn't speak unless I told you to. Brendon, I swear, all you'd ever have to do is crawl out of your bunk and do that. Don't hesitate. You have no idea how happy I'd be if you did that. Hell, you don't even have to be next to me, just curl into my bunk and lay there and I swear to God I'd be the happiest man alive. But, then, can I ask you something? Would it be alright if I just want to lay with you? All I want to do is lay with you somewhere. Just, lay there beside you, listening to you breathe. Listening to your heartbeat. Enjoying your presence. I don't ask for much. I just want to know, that you love me like you say you do. You'll let me lay there, even if you hate me for everything I say and do in this letter.
Brendon, last year, my father died. And, of everything that happened, you were the best comfort I had. You never said a word, you just let me cry on your shoulder. You didn't tell me I wasn't a man because I wasn't being strong, you didn't give me those "I'm sorry" 's that everyone else gave, and you didn't give me the worthless sympathy everyone else gave. No, you gave me something far better. Something far more valuable. You gave me your courage. The silence we shared was filled with unspoken words. Unspoken words of encouragement. Maybe no one else could see this, but I did. And I know you did. That's why, Brendon, you're the only person I will cry in front of. You're the only person I would cry for.
Yeah, I have cried for you. Many a time. I cried for you silently after that show, when you were hit with the bottle in the head. It scared me, you know. I've cried for you at night, because I couldn't have you. I want you to be happy, Brendon, and if you were happy with Audrey, then I forced myself to be happy. But I wasn't. I loathed her. She had you, was able to hold you, was able to kiss you, and not me. Countless nights, I lay in bed, wondering if you ever thought about me like that. I guess, somewhere in my mind, I still do.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Brendon, if you were't alive, I swear I wouldn't be either. If you ever died, I know I would along with you. If you tell me tomorrow, that you want to off yourself, then let's do it together. I want to be the one you die with, the one you live your whole life with and then end it with. I swear to God, and everyone else up there, that nothing else in the world matters, as long as I'm with you. Brendon, I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but, I don't want to be with anyone else. I just want you, and you alone. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want, for lack of better words, to be the one you lean on. The one you rely on. The one you can depend on, the one you come to when you've had a bad day. I want you to lie beside me every night, and I want you to be there when I wake up in the morning. I want you to be the one I whisper "I love you" to at night, and I want you to be the one to whisper it back. I want to stand upon a moutain and scream it to the whole world, that Brendon Boyd Urie is mine, and mine forever. And if that's what it takes to get you, than that's what I'll do.
After all my incoherent babbling, this is what the letter comes down to. The big finale, right? And, in all honesty, I have no idea what to say. Telling you "I love you too" just sounds, too inappropriate. Because that could never describe how I feel.
I want to be your mountain.
I want to be your rock.
I want to be your best friend.
I want to be your lover.
I want to be your everything.
I want to be that thing that you hold onto at night.
I want to be that precious something.
I want to love you like no one has before, and ever will.
I want to hold onto you at night.
I want to kiss you, and show you I mean what I say.
I want to protect you from everything obscene and unclean.
I want to be there for you, no matter what. And I always will be.
I want to live with you forever, and not give a damn what everyone else says and thinks.
But, most importantly, Brendon.
I want to be your guardian angel.
And one day, when I die, I swear I will be.
I'd watch over you with pride. Proud that I, of all people, could protect you the way that I wanted. I'd be proud that you're down here, on Earth, living, and I can be up here to save you when you fall. Help you back up when you are down. Love you more than I can now. Protect you better than I can now.
If you'd let me.
Brendon, what I'm trying to say is.
I'll be your guardian angel. If you'll let me.
Ryan
****************************************
Brendon Boyd Urie sits at his desk, reading a letter over and over. But, you see, it's not just any old letter. It's his favorite one, by far. But, it's more then just a letter. It's his most prized possesion.
It's his letter from Ryan.
He probably looks like a fool, what with his grin from ear to ear, and his eyes watery. But, he's damn right determined. Determined to answer back, in the way only Brendon Urie knows best. So, he jumps up from his position, and runs out of his house and into the cold, rainy night. He takes off down the sidewalk, running as fast as his legs can take him, to his favorite spot. He darts through the park, through the small wooden grove, and past the old oak tree. He dashes up the mountain, and skids to a stop right at the old, decrepit maple tree. The most beautiful, glorious and perfect sight is before him.
His Ryan.
Ryan stares at him, surprised he came up here. And, how exactly did Brendon know he would be here? His train of thought is interrupted by Brendon's voice, soft and quiet.
"You can."
"I-I can? I can what?" Ryan stutters out, scolding himself for being such a whimp.
"You can lay there with me. You can be my rock. You can be my mountain, you can be my everything. You can be my guardian angel. Fuck, Ryan, I don't care as long as you're mine," Brendon says, tears spilling over his eyes and running down his cheeks. "Just, please, be mine." Brendon's lip quivers, and he tries so hard to stop his tears. Ryan gasps at Brendon and bolts forward, wrapping his arms around the younger boy. Ryan buries his face in Brendon's neck, nodding and kissing the skin softly. Brendon wraps his arm around Ryan, pulling him closer as they both stand there in the rain, becoming soaked.
"Brendon?" Ryan whispers, his voice cracking as his own tears start to flow.
"Y-Yes?" Brendon stutters.
"I love you."
"Ryan. You don't know the half of it," Brendon whispers, his smile large and taking over his face. Ryan grins, pulling away from Brendon's neck to rest his forehead against Brendon's.
"But I could. If you'd show me," Ryan whispers. Brendon smiles wider, if it's possible.
"I'd love to." Brendon leans forward a bit, connecting he and Ryan's lips softly. Ryan kisses him back, his hands cupping Brendon's face gently, testing to make sure this is okay. Brendon drops his arms to Ryan's middle, pulling him in closer and kissing him harder. Ryan feels his cheeks redden, and they both pour as much passion and love into the kiss as they can.
***********************
Some say you can find love in the smiles on people's faces. Some say, you can find love in the nice things people do for one another. Some also say, you can find love in the strangest of places, waiting to be dug out and flaunted.
But I say, you can find love on a hill. A hill where, whenever it's raining, you can find two boys standing there, on top of the hill. They're beside this old maple tree, smiling and sitting there, watching the rest of the world with their hands linked.
The most beautiful thing about it?
Their majestic white angel wings.