No Homo
In English class today, someone said "no homo" and our teacher called them out for it and we had this huge class discussion on what the phrase means. I had never heard it before, which surprises me because I thought I was up-to-date on the latest ignorant slang terms. Since I prefer Facebook to MySpace, though, I don't read bulletins anymore where people don't watch their steps and write things like the six-letter f word or its abbreviation or "thats so gay" or anything else that simply looks moronic on my computer screen. Apparently, it's mostly rampant in the hip-hop community and while I listen to hip-hop music I'm not really active in the culture and it was kind of a miracle that I recongized Gloria's Lil Wayne costume on Halloween.
"No homo" hasn't been able to fully leave my mind all day. When I brought up the phrase and said that it could be potentially offensive when coming up with Op-Ed ideas in Journalism, Shelby and Kyra both protested: "nuh-uh! No homo isn't offensive! It's just...you know, a way to say no homo. I don't dig girls [not like you do, anyway]!" I was a little concerned that these two are the ones who are most defensive of the phrase, because they're some of the people who tease me the most about Zosha, and I started to wonder if maybe the teasing wasn't with the love I thought it was.
But you know, I've had my own "no homo" moments too. I'm extremely defensive whenever anyone calls me a lesbian, even though I have friends who are lesbians and are always quick to point out that they're lesbians. I don't have anything wrong with it from them, but I don't like limiting my options or limiting other people's perceptions of me. So, I suppose that contributes to the "no homo" phemenonon. So maybe I shouldn't find it that offensive if I have the same issues, just in a different form since I've been out for two years and whatnot. I'm really hesitant to say anything nice to a girl--especially about her appearance--and though I feel a tiny bit more comfortable when it's someone who doesn't know about my sexual orientation, it's not like I hand out compliments like condoms at youth group either. Just at the KBLX competition, I told DeAngelina that she looked pretty and that she always does, and walked away thinking "shit. Now she thinks I like her." In actuality, I think she's a very pretty, classy girl but I really have no interest.
There's still a problem with "no homo." There's a problem with "I don't like you like that" (which I've been guilty of using in prior times). There's even a problem with "shit. Now she thinks I like her." Because "no homo" reveals an intense amount of insecurity. It's not the insecurity of "I'm afraid that I might be gay" that some have said it reveals on YouTube to be funny, it's just an insecurity of "I'm afraid what others will think about me and I'm afraid of other people's homophobia/biphobia/transphobia." If you're really scared that people will think you're gay if you write "u r so cute" on their MySpace photo? Then why are you writing "u r so cute" on their MySpace photo? Why can't you rephrase it? Or just not say anything at all? Or just trust the person and be confident in yourself that they're going to know what you mean, and if they don't and if they judge you or treat you differently or whatever, it's their problem not yours? Writing "no homo" might increase suspicions anyway, or create them when they weren't there in the first place.
Let's say that DeAngelina took what I said to mean that I like her. Let's pretend that she's really stupid and immature and starts a rumor around the school that I'm a dyke or whatever. Even though it's an arts school, it's still an urban school and the hip-hop community is notorious for having issues with LGBT people, as evidenced by the "no homo" trend, the usage of slurs in hip-hop lyrics and the absolute fear of some African-American youth to come out of the closet. Nate's dated a few of those, and he's told me countless times how people in his racial community prejudice against him because of the gender he loves. So, DeAngelina's spreading this rumor and people are going "omg, rly?" like it's the cruelest remark anyone could make against me. It's still going to come across this gigantic wall.
LGBT youth are some of the highest suicide risks among adolescent demographics. DeAng's "dyke" rumor would have died because admin would have stood up for me, my teachers would have stood up for me, my friends would have stood up for me and I would have just laughed at it. Some LGBT youth don't have that community or that love or that support, and I feel immensely sorry for them and think they should all move to Harvey Milk High School or a school in San Francisco or something. Maybe DeAngelina's rumor would have led them to tie a rope around their neck. But people need to develop the self-esteem and the confidence (I was going to write "balls" but then I remembered another conversation we had in English today) to have the ability to say "if you like me, so fucking what?" or "if I like you, so fucking what?" or "what the fuck is the point of fucking 'no homo'?"
Just...say no to "no homo."