(no subject)
things have been ok lately...nothing special has been going on. i really dont like myself at all. my therapist thinks im like depressed. i think i am sort of its just to much bullshit has been going on lately i just cant handel it. the whole alex thing is driving me crazy. i dont no who to trust anymore i dont no who to talk to. i feel lost. lately it seems all i have in my life are my freinds there always ther for me. im not doing good in school lately..and im kinda mad at myself for not doing good but i dont think that school is for me. im guna graduate and everything but its just guna be hard for me. i got a 35 on my ss midterm =X not good my moms guna kill me. well saturday i had a therapy appointment with my mom and my therapist. it was ok but i dont really feel comfortable talking about shit infront of my mom. they want me to get tested to see if i have adhd or some shit like that. POINTLESS. i duno its gay. well i pierced my ear and my mom didnt flip which was good...so i pierced them some more lol =) i think i drive my mom crazy sometimes cuz i do all this shit and i feel like shes tried so hard that shes just given up on me. it hurts sometimes wen i hafta watch her agree with me becuase if she doesnt she knows ill flip out on her. i dont like doing that but sometimes i feel like its the only way i can get thru to her. i duno ive gotten back to useing a bad habbit to deal with my anger. i dont like doing it but i duno...it makes me feel really good sometimes wen i just do it. its weird. i no that people out there have it worse then me and i shoudlnt complain...but sometimes i just think i have it so bad and i just wanna KILL someone. people have been pissing me off lately. i duno if its because im different or if people are just annoying me on purpose. its kinda hard to trust people these days. i found out 3 things about my best friend that she never told me and i found htem all at once and it was really big for me. you suposed to trust your best friend...i cant do that n e more. i really want to but i just cant. i think theres only 2 people i can tell EVERYTHING to. thats alyssa and amy. i love them so much i duno what i wud do if they ever left for good. i would prolly go insane. yea well i bet you are all tired of me bitching about my life so im guna go byebye<3