(no subject)
why can't i be happy? is it just not in the books for me?
the past 5 months i've been pretending.
hoping that pretend will turn into something real. but nothing.
infront of everyone i smile. i laugh. i goof. because thats who i am. i'm a happy person.
but you wouldn't believe how many nights i've cried.
i just can't show it infront of people. its something i've always struggled with.
so here it is for some of my closest friends to see.
i'm not happy.
i'd love to say that i was. but im not.
i'd love even more to say that this whole thing didn't start with a boy. but i can't.
thats how it started...
and now its building up. and i no longer have a clue as to what the source is.
and its frustrating.
and when i get frustrated, i just get more upset.
its a never ending circle.
and i've been hinding this for so long.
now i've cracked. broke.
crashed and burned.
i'm done.
the past 5 months i've been pretending.
hoping that pretend will turn into something real. but nothing.
infront of everyone i smile. i laugh. i goof. because thats who i am. i'm a happy person.
but you wouldn't believe how many nights i've cried.
i just can't show it infront of people. its something i've always struggled with.
so here it is for some of my closest friends to see.
i'm not happy.
i'd love to say that i was. but im not.
i'd love even more to say that this whole thing didn't start with a boy. but i can't.
thats how it started...
and now its building up. and i no longer have a clue as to what the source is.
and its frustrating.
and when i get frustrated, i just get more upset.
its a never ending circle.
and i've been hinding this for so long.
now i've cracked. broke.
crashed and burned.
i'm done.