(no subject)
The summer is over. I made it. Now we all know i'd be lying if i said i just had the best three months of my life...but i have to admit that it wasn't a total bust. I'm so excited to be back to a routine and have my people around again. But honestly, i've learned some serious life lessons this summer. Mostly things i think i knew but never let myself sort through. I know that my mom is my hero. She was the reason i stayed home so much. I wanted to spend time with her and knew that the laughs and talks we had would mean more to me than anything else i could be doing...so i did.
I'm reminded of the old saying "make new friends but keep the old. one is silver and the other gold." Well, i've spent most of my summer loving and hating that phrase. I have applied and re-applied it to my own life, desperately trying to make it fit or make sense. It hasn't yet but i have figured out amongst this whole process that i want friends that i not only love and support, but that love me and give me the support i need. I'm through being a backbone when your life is fucked up and you don't know how to hold yourself up. I've done that too long, and it's literally drained me. I'm so thankful to have a best friend that finally completes me and that gives me what i need. In some ways i feel old...and in most ways, i know my life is just beginning. I'm so excited and can't wait to see what lies ahead. So the long and the short of it...i will always have my past and appreciate where it's lead me, but my present is so full of life, love, and happiness that sometimes it's really hard to look back. I can't live in the past anymore. I want you to come with me, but you're going to have to pull yourself out...please do - for me?
Love. It's so complicated and confusing, yet so beautiful. I know that i want it. I am not afraid of it anymore. Life is all about taking chances. Taking that first step is so scary but it makes me happier than i've ever been...
I'm excited about volleyball. I've decided that i'm just going to play for myself and be thankful that i'm still active and have the opportunity to do it. I will still refuse to cheer on the bench (s-i-s-i-d-s-i-d-e-o-u-shut the fuck up!) but oh well...
Aaaaaaand one more day of work! yessssss...don't worry ash- we WILL have the sexiest room on campus and i WILL make you workout everyday!
That's all...gonna go listen to the new Coldplay CD
I'm reminded of the old saying "make new friends but keep the old. one is silver and the other gold." Well, i've spent most of my summer loving and hating that phrase. I have applied and re-applied it to my own life, desperately trying to make it fit or make sense. It hasn't yet but i have figured out amongst this whole process that i want friends that i not only love and support, but that love me and give me the support i need. I'm through being a backbone when your life is fucked up and you don't know how to hold yourself up. I've done that too long, and it's literally drained me. I'm so thankful to have a best friend that finally completes me and that gives me what i need. In some ways i feel old...and in most ways, i know my life is just beginning. I'm so excited and can't wait to see what lies ahead. So the long and the short of it...i will always have my past and appreciate where it's lead me, but my present is so full of life, love, and happiness that sometimes it's really hard to look back. I can't live in the past anymore. I want you to come with me, but you're going to have to pull yourself out...please do - for me?
Love. It's so complicated and confusing, yet so beautiful. I know that i want it. I am not afraid of it anymore. Life is all about taking chances. Taking that first step is so scary but it makes me happier than i've ever been...
I'm excited about volleyball. I've decided that i'm just going to play for myself and be thankful that i'm still active and have the opportunity to do it. I will still refuse to cheer on the bench (s-i-s-i-d-s-i-d-e-o-u-shut the fuck up!) but oh well...
Aaaaaaand one more day of work! yessssss...don't worry ash- we WILL have the sexiest room on campus and i WILL make you workout everyday!
That's all...gonna go listen to the new Coldplay CD