(no subject)
since i've been back, things have gone downhill it seems like. people making wrong assumptions about things they don't know anything about. me feeling bad for things i shouldn't have to worry about. preparing to say goodbye to my senior friends, and another good friend of mine leaving me, who probably doesn't know what i really think of him.
i try to have as much fun as i can. i don't let it show. i refuse. i don't want to deal with things a 16 yr old shouldn't have to deal with. child support isn't my problem. scheduling appointments shouldn't have to be done by me. supporting me and my mother shouldn't be a problem, especially since she's got a job, but is lazy and an alcoholic and smokes and complains when she doesn't have money to buy food.
i'm tired of asking my friends for money when i already owe them. i'm tired of going without food during the day just because i don't feel right asking in the first place. yes, i have a job, but i just started and its gonna be unsteady for about a month or so.
i don't see how she can come to me for $100, $200 from a savings account i shouldn't touch, but when i ask for $2 for lunch because she can't go buy things for me to take, it's a problem.
i'm just tired of all this. and i hate complaining. i thought i was done with that last year. i didn't think i'd have to resort to complaining again to a silly electronic device so i won't loose my head. everything was going so great for me. and i guess i could say they somewhat are, cause i'm still alive. i didn't know anyone in the VTech shootings or anyone in Iraq that could be killed any minute due to george bush's idiotic war on terrorism. i'm still healthy, except for my back. i still live under shelter. i have friends that love me. i have a talent [i like to think somewhat at least] for music. i have the balls to stand up for what i believe in and for what i want to say.
but i don't have a dad i talk to enough. or a mother who has her head in the right place. or a good understanding of geometry, making my GPA suffer. or the health care that i need.
but i'm living, right?
i try to have as much fun as i can. i don't let it show. i refuse. i don't want to deal with things a 16 yr old shouldn't have to deal with. child support isn't my problem. scheduling appointments shouldn't have to be done by me. supporting me and my mother shouldn't be a problem, especially since she's got a job, but is lazy and an alcoholic and smokes and complains when she doesn't have money to buy food.
i'm tired of asking my friends for money when i already owe them. i'm tired of going without food during the day just because i don't feel right asking in the first place. yes, i have a job, but i just started and its gonna be unsteady for about a month or so.
i don't see how she can come to me for $100, $200 from a savings account i shouldn't touch, but when i ask for $2 for lunch because she can't go buy things for me to take, it's a problem.
i'm just tired of all this. and i hate complaining. i thought i was done with that last year. i didn't think i'd have to resort to complaining again to a silly electronic device so i won't loose my head. everything was going so great for me. and i guess i could say they somewhat are, cause i'm still alive. i didn't know anyone in the VTech shootings or anyone in Iraq that could be killed any minute due to george bush's idiotic war on terrorism. i'm still healthy, except for my back. i still live under shelter. i have friends that love me. i have a talent [i like to think somewhat at least] for music. i have the balls to stand up for what i believe in and for what i want to say.
but i don't have a dad i talk to enough. or a mother who has her head in the right place. or a good understanding of geometry, making my GPA suffer. or the health care that i need.
but i'm living, right?