please hang on to me
i don't know. about anything, really.
i went to the bar tonight, because i haven't in about a week. i didn't get drunk, but i got tipsy. amie drank the same amount as me, but she was loaded. maybe it's because she doesn't eat. i don't know. my mom didn't answer her phone so i had to get a ride home with amie, as i didn't have any money. i fully expected to die. and someday i will. because i'm a passenger with her driving drunk far too often. but that's fine with me because my life is worthless.
i saw matt eagles and his friend brendan (kate, you know him) at kilroy's, so when amie was talking to some guy she wanted to fuck, i wanted to go talk to matt to catch up, since he moved out of town. so we chatted for a bit, and then of course he wanted me to go to his house, and he was going to "get me a ride to work tomorrow" etc. etc. of course i said no, because i need sleep and i knew he was just trying to continue what he started last spring or summer or whenever it was. so he got really mad at me and called me a bitch, just like he called me a slut last time, for NOT fucking him. so that depressed me a bit, although i don't know why. not because he called me a bitch, not because i didn't fuck him, but because...what is the point of it all.
and when i went out to smoke with amie 1000 times (obviously not smoking myself) i just thought how i don't really fit in with anybody. i don't fit in with amie and her "bar friends" because i don't sleep with everybody. i don't have kids, and i don't start drama at the bar, even if sometimes i wish i did.. i just want to have a good time. i'm not like my old friends like becky, robyn, and seonaid, because i do drugs, i enjoy them, and i'm not "innocent". again, i just want to have a good time. i haven't found anybody who's with me in the middle, and it's lonely here. although i don't want to be a slut, and i don't want to quit doing drugs (which i don't do often, anyways).
everyone has become an aquaintance to me, aside from amie, my family and my boyfriend. i don't know if i like it or not. but i'm lonely. and sometimes i think not even they could really understand how i feel right now, even though i want them to so bad.
anyways, i'm not as depressed as i seem. just yapping. so here's how i feel via song lyrics. blah i hate when people do that, but it's so perfect i can't help it.
My life is a stereo, how loud does it go?
What songs do I know? What ever happened to my plans?
Whatever happened to the life I thought I had?
My life is a stereo, kinda cheaply made though
How bad does it show? Whatever did become of all my friends?
Whatever happened to the likes of all of them?
My life is a stereo, turn me on and let's go
Turn me up louder, I'll scream as loud and clear as I can scream
And if you like what you're hearing, please hang on to me
But I like being here
And I'm all hooked up wrong
Hang on to me, I'm one in a million
One in a million, one in a million
Please hang on to me
My life is a stereo, outphased but you know
60 cycles humming, whatever happened to my friends?
Whatever happened to the likes of all of them?
Oh, I like being here
And I'm all hooked up wrong
Hang on to me, I'm one in a million
One in a million, one in a million
And my lights are like candles
I'm so afraid of new technology
I'm in the race and I don't want to be
Yeah I'm so afraid of what's to come for me
I'm in a race and I don't, I don't want to be
Life ends in a stereo, pack me up and let's go
Put me anywhere, please don't think of leaving me behind
Whatever happens to you, I'll get on just fine
I'm one of a million, one of a million
One of a million, one of a million
One of a million, one of a million
One of a million, ooohhh
Ah, ladada
i went to the bar tonight, because i haven't in about a week. i didn't get drunk, but i got tipsy. amie drank the same amount as me, but she was loaded. maybe it's because she doesn't eat. i don't know. my mom didn't answer her phone so i had to get a ride home with amie, as i didn't have any money. i fully expected to die. and someday i will. because i'm a passenger with her driving drunk far too often. but that's fine with me because my life is worthless.
i saw matt eagles and his friend brendan (kate, you know him) at kilroy's, so when amie was talking to some guy she wanted to fuck, i wanted to go talk to matt to catch up, since he moved out of town. so we chatted for a bit, and then of course he wanted me to go to his house, and he was going to "get me a ride to work tomorrow" etc. etc. of course i said no, because i need sleep and i knew he was just trying to continue what he started last spring or summer or whenever it was. so he got really mad at me and called me a bitch, just like he called me a slut last time, for NOT fucking him. so that depressed me a bit, although i don't know why. not because he called me a bitch, not because i didn't fuck him, but because...what is the point of it all.
and when i went out to smoke with amie 1000 times (obviously not smoking myself) i just thought how i don't really fit in with anybody. i don't fit in with amie and her "bar friends" because i don't sleep with everybody. i don't have kids, and i don't start drama at the bar, even if sometimes i wish i did.. i just want to have a good time. i'm not like my old friends like becky, robyn, and seonaid, because i do drugs, i enjoy them, and i'm not "innocent". again, i just want to have a good time. i haven't found anybody who's with me in the middle, and it's lonely here. although i don't want to be a slut, and i don't want to quit doing drugs (which i don't do often, anyways).
everyone has become an aquaintance to me, aside from amie, my family and my boyfriend. i don't know if i like it or not. but i'm lonely. and sometimes i think not even they could really understand how i feel right now, even though i want them to so bad.
anyways, i'm not as depressed as i seem. just yapping. so here's how i feel via song lyrics. blah i hate when people do that, but it's so perfect i can't help it.
My life is a stereo, how loud does it go?
What songs do I know? What ever happened to my plans?
Whatever happened to the life I thought I had?
My life is a stereo, kinda cheaply made though
How bad does it show? Whatever did become of all my friends?
Whatever happened to the likes of all of them?
My life is a stereo, turn me on and let's go
Turn me up louder, I'll scream as loud and clear as I can scream
And if you like what you're hearing, please hang on to me
But I like being here
And I'm all hooked up wrong
Hang on to me, I'm one in a million
One in a million, one in a million
Please hang on to me
My life is a stereo, outphased but you know
60 cycles humming, whatever happened to my friends?
Whatever happened to the likes of all of them?
Oh, I like being here
And I'm all hooked up wrong
Hang on to me, I'm one in a million
One in a million, one in a million
And my lights are like candles
I'm so afraid of new technology
I'm in the race and I don't want to be
Yeah I'm so afraid of what's to come for me
I'm in a race and I don't, I don't want to be
Life ends in a stereo, pack me up and let's go
Put me anywhere, please don't think of leaving me behind
Whatever happens to you, I'll get on just fine
I'm one of a million, one of a million
One of a million, one of a million
One of a million, one of a million
One of a million, ooohhh
Ah, ladada