(no subject)
I haven't updated in a while, however it's not because I have nothing to say. I just haven't had time.
I don't know, maybe I'm lazy..whatever. I just haven't updated in a while..a very long while.
School is completely boring..I don't want to take final exams. I hate English, I hate Geometry, and I hate everything. It's a waste of time.
Maybe I wasn't meant for school, maybe I don't express the desire to learn. More than anything, it's just boring and difficult to listen in class. Maybe I am making another cop-out to excuse my non-existent determination. I'm independent, but I'm not a strong person. I tend to be emotion-driven, and let my emotions get to me. Whatever...I guess that's the way I am. Maybe I should change? Many people don't like me, maybe that's the reason.
Anyways...break was fun. I visited my dad and my family on his side (the Fletchers). I saw my cousins, aunt, and uncle whom I hadn't seen in about 2 years. I don't see them very often because the distance ratios. It's always fun when I do see them. This time, though I was very uncomfortable and distant because I don't know them well. It was awkward; I never see them. They tended to seclude me, but that's okay, I probably secluded myself by not talking much. I don't know, I feel inferior with them, and I don't know what to say. Mackenzie didn't seem like she was enjoying herself, though. She was constantly on her cell phone talking to her boyfriend or one of her many friends. Oh well...I had fun seeing them. Adam was nice, he likes to talk about movies, etc. He attends ASU (Arizona State University). He does water-skiing. He's soo tall! He's probably around 6'3 or 4..but he's not as tall as Viktor!!! lol (Lord of Life)
Anyways, I'm so tired right now. I wish they had lounge chairs in the library. These chairs are so uncomfortable...ugh!
Ummmm...I asked Viktor to Turnabout today!!! All I can say about that is I hope he says yes!
I swear to God, I've wasted 16 years of my bloody life! Why is that? Why do I have to fuck up everything!? Why can't I do anything right? I'm so sick of doing terrible in school. I'm so sick of being stupid..Why can't I just do what I'm told? Why am I not smart like the rest...I want to be nerdy..I want to be incredibly smart like Yoko (Sam, you know)!!! AHHhhh!!!! Oh well, at least my Aunt Kerry thinks I'm smart..but she says I'm book smart, and she's street smart. She does well with quick learning. (For instance, she can watch something, and immediately after she can perform the task utterly amazing...I, however, can't do that) I need hours and weeks and days and years of practice to accomplish things. Like sports, for instance. I wish I kept with one or two sports. I couldn't though, because It required too much money, way to expensive for my family.
One sport I really wish I stayed with was figure-skating. I love it..I really do. It's so graceful, and requires years of practice and precise skill. I adore it. It just became way, way too expensive. It pisses me off. I did gymnastics for about 2 years, but had to quit that as well. Why? Why me? Why can't I have talent. I fucking have no talent whatsoever, all I do with my free time is fucking read, watch tv, or when I'm in the mood do homework, I wish I could write well. That's been a passion of mine since 3rd or 4th grade. I envy so many people for their talents...God, it must be nice to have such a great life. Compliments, and all that shit. God....::sighs::
Random..
Other stuff..I saw King Kong twice over Winter Break..good film..but way to many unnecessary scenes..great action sequences, though. 3 hours and 15 minutes, can you believe that?!!
I still haven't seen Memoirs of a Geisha...however I did see Vanity Fair..it was okay. Not the ending I expected, but okay; nonetheless. Umm..I love Where the Heart Is!! Great movie!!! loved it to the end!!! Rocked hard!
Applied to tons of jobs at the mall: A&F, American Eagle, Libby Lu, Hollister, Lucky Jeans, Loews, Elk Grove Classic Cinema...umm..I think that's it.
I have an interview tomorrow for A&F..so we'll see how that goes.
Anyways, hope everyone's Christmas went well and hope everyone received everything they wished for. I did.
Still, Christmas is for giving, not getting.