(no subject)
why doesn't life ever take a break? i feel like i'm being smothered by all this trivial bullshit and i'm unable to focus on the things that are really important. my grandfather died two weeks ago, and i spent the whole time with my family in california wanting to come home, worrying about what i'd be missing in school and what work i'd have to make up. now, two weeks later, its finally sinking in that someone who was always a constant in my life is gone, and i was so busy worrying about sinclair failing me that it didn't really sink in. last week my parents took me to look at art schools in new york. this was supposed to make something click in my mind, like, "maybe i should start caring about school now." instead it made me remember why i wanted to go to art school in the first place, and high school grades seemed unimportant. it just really makes me mad that i have to sit here and feel guilty about failing math when i don't even want to pass.