(no subject)
I have two hands to type today, so I'm celebrating with a post/half-assed book review. In an effort to balance the constant cuteness that goes on at our house these days, I have taken to reading only mystery novels, preferably with lots of gore or at least more than one dead body. Carl Hiaasen's SKIN TIGHT delivers on both counts, augmented with some bizarre plot twists and even more bizarre characters. Here is a sample of such:
George Graveline had a few questions of his own for the tall stranger, but he held them. Valiantly he tried not to stare at Chemo's complexion, which George assessed as some tragic human strain of Dutch elm disease. What finally drew the tree trimmer's attention away from Chemo's face was the colorful Macy's shopping bag in which Chemo concealed his newly extended left arm.
"Had an accident," Chemo explained. "I'm only wearing this until I get a customized cover." He pulled the shopping bag off the Weed Whacker. George Graveline recognized it immediately -- the lightweight household model.
"Hey, that thing work?"
"You bet," Chemo said. He probed under his arm until he found the toggle switch that jolted the Weed Whacker to life. It sounded like a blender without the top on.
George grinned and clapped his hands.
"That's enough," Rudy said sharply.
"No, watch," said Chemo. He ambled to the corner of the office where Rudy kept a beautiful potted rubber plant.
"Oh no," the doctor said, but it was too late. Gleefully Chemo chopped the rubber plant into slaw.
"Yeah!" said George Graveline.
"Rudy leaned over and whispered, "Don't encourage him. He's a dangerous fellow."
Basking in the attention, Chemo left the Weed Whacker unsheathed. He sat down next to the two men and said, "Let's hear the big news."
George Graveline had a few questions of his own for the tall stranger, but he held them. Valiantly he tried not to stare at Chemo's complexion, which George assessed as some tragic human strain of Dutch elm disease. What finally drew the tree trimmer's attention away from Chemo's face was the colorful Macy's shopping bag in which Chemo concealed his newly extended left arm.
"Had an accident," Chemo explained. "I'm only wearing this until I get a customized cover." He pulled the shopping bag off the Weed Whacker. George Graveline recognized it immediately -- the lightweight household model.
"Hey, that thing work?"
"You bet," Chemo said. He probed under his arm until he found the toggle switch that jolted the Weed Whacker to life. It sounded like a blender without the top on.
George grinned and clapped his hands.
"That's enough," Rudy said sharply.
"No, watch," said Chemo. He ambled to the corner of the office where Rudy kept a beautiful potted rubber plant.
"Oh no," the doctor said, but it was too late. Gleefully Chemo chopped the rubber plant into slaw.
"Yeah!" said George Graveline.
"Rudy leaned over and whispered, "Don't encourage him. He's a dangerous fellow."
Basking in the attention, Chemo left the Weed Whacker unsheathed. He sat down next to the two men and said, "Let's hear the big news."