All Natural?
Wow, it certainly has been a long time since I've been on here. Not only have I not posted any entries, I haven't even been reading the ones from other people. Though I did read a bunch today...because I was reminded of it. Life is chaos. Pure, total chaos. I'm not sure that's a bad thing...sometimes it's stressful and frustrating, but many other times it is great. But no matter what, it is most disorganized and illogical. People are strange...very strange. So many people seem to be fighting the natural order of things, trying to bend things to their will. Is that what we are supposed to do? Is that what is meant by trying your best, and not giving up? I'm not so sure...going with the flow has always worked best for me. I don't fight things that aren't meant to be, and I don't really try to make things happen. They just happen, and I let them. That's not to say that I do nothing, or that I don't care at all...but if something doesn't seem natural, I won't push it. But a lot of people will...and that never seems to work either. But they do it to me...I guess you can't really force these unnatural changes on someone who is going with the natural flow of...life I guess. That's why it doesn't work. But the way I see it, everything will end up the way it is meant to, regardless of what you do. So you might as well let it happen earlier, so that you can properly learn how to handle it. Now I know, this sounds like I would have everything in my life under control, if I'm learning how to deal with things that happen and all that. It's not true...I've still made bad decisions, I would never even try to deny that. But at the same time, I don't regret anything. It all happened for a reason, and I tried to do the best I could.
I don't even know why I'm rambling about this...I wasn't thinking of it when I started typing. Then again, that's what I love about free writing...and free typing is even better, because I can do it much faster. And that's why I like LiveJournal...you wouldn't think so, with how rarely I've been using it. But it gives me a chance to just write whatever I want. And I really need that...I don't do it often enough. At one time I did...but not anymore. I'm so glad that I'm on holidays...school was just becoming way too much. And I know that all the university students are going to cursing me, with my high school classes that don't actually matter very much because I've already graduated with a half-decent average. But I guess things are what you make them...just never, ever let things go unfinished for 3 months if you do intend to finish them at some point. That's how things pile up...and that happened. I wasn't under so much stress because of the amount of work they give us...but I had 3 months worth of work that hadn't been done...still hasn't been. And I do have to get that stuff done eventually...and I don't care what you have to say about your university work, I will not say that my situation is worse, but I will say that my huge pile of work is enough to overwhelm anyone, even if just for a minute. Well for me it went to far, and I approached the breaking point...but then I got to get away on vacation. I love cruises, and I adore the Caribbean...despite all the people chasing us down the streets, trying to get us to buy random things that we would never want or need. Ok that's hardly fair, they don't do it on all the islands, and some of their stuff IS very nice. But still...they're very aggressive. I suppose I can't blame them, that's how they make their money...but it's still scary. Either way, I had an amazing time on the cruise...and I wish I could go back. But I can't. It's over, and I will have those incredible memories forever...unless my memory functions the way it normally does, and I forget almost everything! That wouldn't be good. Oh, but the cruise helped me discover another important thing...I don't really care about cameras. I mean, I would have liked to have some more pictures of the people I met, and of a few really amazing sights that I saw. At the same time, however, I went out and experienced things, instead of observing through a camera lens. And to me, that's worth infinitely more. Sure, I don't have proof on a photograph to show other people, and I certainly don't have a photographic memory...but I had a great time, and I will remember that much better because I just went and did what I wanted to. A cruise is truly one of the best vacations ever...especially if you're not spending the whole time hanging around with a family or a significant other! Although maybe that's my own bias from this trip...oh well!
Wow...I meant for this to be short. Oh well, things never work out the way I intend for them to. Then again, I don't usually have intentions for things...it is what it is. I guess that's back to my original thought from the beginning...wow, this is really a theme in my head today. That's weird. Well if anyone actually got through this ramble, I am very impressed. To be honest, I don't know if it matters to me whether or not people read this...I mean in a way, I'm writing it for myself. It's what I like to do, and it gives me an outlet for random thoughts. But at the same time, maybe I do want people to read what I've been thinking? I don't know...right now, I don't think it matters to me one way or another...but I think I'm too tired to figure that one out right now. So I will go back to sleep, and perhaps everything will make more sense after I get some more sleep.
I don't even know why I'm rambling about this...I wasn't thinking of it when I started typing. Then again, that's what I love about free writing...and free typing is even better, because I can do it much faster. And that's why I like LiveJournal...you wouldn't think so, with how rarely I've been using it. But it gives me a chance to just write whatever I want. And I really need that...I don't do it often enough. At one time I did...but not anymore. I'm so glad that I'm on holidays...school was just becoming way too much. And I know that all the university students are going to cursing me, with my high school classes that don't actually matter very much because I've already graduated with a half-decent average. But I guess things are what you make them...just never, ever let things go unfinished for 3 months if you do intend to finish them at some point. That's how things pile up...and that happened. I wasn't under so much stress because of the amount of work they give us...but I had 3 months worth of work that hadn't been done...still hasn't been. And I do have to get that stuff done eventually...and I don't care what you have to say about your university work, I will not say that my situation is worse, but I will say that my huge pile of work is enough to overwhelm anyone, even if just for a minute. Well for me it went to far, and I approached the breaking point...but then I got to get away on vacation. I love cruises, and I adore the Caribbean...despite all the people chasing us down the streets, trying to get us to buy random things that we would never want or need. Ok that's hardly fair, they don't do it on all the islands, and some of their stuff IS very nice. But still...they're very aggressive. I suppose I can't blame them, that's how they make their money...but it's still scary. Either way, I had an amazing time on the cruise...and I wish I could go back. But I can't. It's over, and I will have those incredible memories forever...unless my memory functions the way it normally does, and I forget almost everything! That wouldn't be good. Oh, but the cruise helped me discover another important thing...I don't really care about cameras. I mean, I would have liked to have some more pictures of the people I met, and of a few really amazing sights that I saw. At the same time, however, I went out and experienced things, instead of observing through a camera lens. And to me, that's worth infinitely more. Sure, I don't have proof on a photograph to show other people, and I certainly don't have a photographic memory...but I had a great time, and I will remember that much better because I just went and did what I wanted to. A cruise is truly one of the best vacations ever...especially if you're not spending the whole time hanging around with a family or a significant other! Although maybe that's my own bias from this trip...oh well!
Wow...I meant for this to be short. Oh well, things never work out the way I intend for them to. Then again, I don't usually have intentions for things...it is what it is. I guess that's back to my original thought from the beginning...wow, this is really a theme in my head today. That's weird. Well if anyone actually got through this ramble, I am very impressed. To be honest, I don't know if it matters to me whether or not people read this...I mean in a way, I'm writing it for myself. It's what I like to do, and it gives me an outlet for random thoughts. But at the same time, maybe I do want people to read what I've been thinking? I don't know...right now, I don't think it matters to me one way or another...but I think I'm too tired to figure that one out right now. So I will go back to sleep, and perhaps everything will make more sense after I get some more sleep.