I got to see tsuka-chan at the parco theater!
been a while since i been here.
well its been a month now since i got back from japan.
sudden announcment i know but yes i finaly had my first trip there.
waited 10 years for this moment and it finaly came.
I was thinking to go in may or august as i wanted to tie in my trip with seeing my idols.
i only went for 1 week but it was ideal really.
i only went for 1 week but it was ideal really.
the trip was not easy if im honest.
most people just hop on a plane and ride off into the sunset.
well for me it was not that easy as i struggle with difficultys.
im partly disabled.
I hate to brag about this but i have scoliosis and weak joints in the body,.
but you look at me and wouldent think i had anything wrong with me.
my spines fused so im limited with what i can do.
I dident go alone,.
i have to thank my farther for takeing me, if it was not for him, this trip would never of happend.
and a freind of mine was kind enough to help me find tickets for 2 shows i wanted to see.
it was not easy and i never done this before so it was a new experiance.
and it was a nightmare.
but it was all worth it.
I did see tottsu and tsuka when i was there.
how could i not.
gosh i was so nervus you guys.
saturday and sunday i went to see tsukas show.
i enjoyed it very much.
I was the only non japanese person there.
so i stood out quite badly,.
i suffer also from anxsiaty and it set off so bad when i was at parco theater.
i was close to leaveing completely, but i dident.
i was on my own alone. and i dont do well with loads of people.
tsuka wouldent know that i came from the other side of the world to see him , dosent that meen something >.< ehh
well …he did notice me when i was there.
actuly he looked at me quite alot, i was at the back of the audiance but my pale skin and red hair just does not blend in well where i was sitting i guess.
of course i dident mind being noticed, i meen isent that what a fan wants from there idol.
but i was so shy and nervus i dident do anything i just sat there watching,.
dident wave or smile, i guess i froze on the spot hmm.
did anyone else go to the show on saturday, did anyone notice a red hair girl.
well she was a nervus reck that day , not just because shes seeing her idol for the first time.
but also the journy it took to get there.
sitting in the theater i got emotinal , its stupid.
few years ago i had major sugery on my spine.
honestly it ruined my life.
i have had 9 operations in total in my life and going to the hospital is like going to school for me.
well that last op just ruined everything, and well i gave up on life completely.
almost died in the hospital bed as i dident eat and got so weak and given alot of medication, sitting there thinking whats the fucking point.
my mother reduced to tears and my family struggleing seeing me in that state.
but i was used to it, i had been there before.
But you know , i dident give up, not for me but for my family and freinds.
its taken years to get back on my feet again.
sounds stupid but its true. while recovering also a.b.c-z did help me pull though.
i forced myself out of bed in alot of pain to watch them on the computer and stuff.
made myself shower and eat.
doing just the simpleist of things was a nightmare.
had stupid disabilty apliances around the house to help me get by and had a family memeber to help me down the stairs as i wanted to move around freely.
gosh wow im going off topic.
ahhh the point is they helped me pull though and if it was not for them, then i wouldent be here today.
thinking all this crap while i see him peform sitting there.
“i wouldent be here if it was not for you.”
he wouldent know that though . i wish i waved or at least smiled at him, but i dident. i didnt know what to do -_-.
i went to the same show on sunday aswell, and i was alot closer this time.
i dressed up saturday but not sunday, i went as myself.
sunday i noticed some boys come in, i thought to myself, finaly nice to see some male fans.
i saw them standing at the side waiting to come in, i was the only one who noticed.
when they walked though all the girls started to gasp and gossip to one another.
i had no clue what was going on, but then i realised that they were actuly from the company aswell, (johnnys entertanment) there was 5 of them all together,.
they came to support tsuka, just like me,
it was nice to see that, i recognized 2 of them , one of them was nikaido Takashi from kis my ft2 and the other Daisuke Sakuma from snow man.
as for the others im not shure where they were from.
so yeah that was something and of course they noticed me too.
i was closer to tsuka this day and i could have a better look at him.
but thats bad for me because he gets a better look at my ugly face, and oh boy did he look
so much infact it got to the point where i couldent handle it.
i dont like it when people stare at me but he had a right good look.
i had my chance to wave or smile , but again i dident.
i was shakeing inside like eh i dident know what to do.
he didnt smile at me just…….nothing really. i wish i knew what he was thinking
perhaps he is thinking “Never seen her before”
im negative on myself alot, i would hate to think that he thinks im ugly.
im used to comments like that from my fellow british people.
partly due to my low confidance,….thanks guys.
at home i kept thinking “oh i bet he would like to see me, perhaps he would like me”
but being with the fans these stunning japanese females and in a new world i was very scared “perhaps i shouldent of come here”
i question myself alot.
But you know though i hate people looking at me, hmm i at that moment thought seeing him look at me i………….kinda liked it >.< i meen he is my idol after all.
my heart was pounding honestly,
and when he left the stage, my heart sank,
i knew i had to go , …….an hour past but it did feel longer than that,.
i wish i had to confidance to do something,.
I even had a gift with me but i knew that was honestly pushing it if i had a chance to see him face to face talking really *sigh*.
i dont want him to hate me.,
perhaps he was curious or happy that an unknown face in the croud came to see the show.
gosh im rambleing again arnt i.
im sorry i just cant stop thinking about it.
btw though sunday was the best day for me, it was also my worst because i lost my mobile phone, great huh.
lost all my traval photos and everything.
so sadly i cant share my enjoyable experiance -_-.
but i can tresure the memories i have gathered on my journy in my mind.
I hope to visit japan again soon.
and to see him again.
i wanna see all of abcz next time.
i hope it comes sooner rather than later, i dont want to wait forever.
I went to see netorare sosuke on my last day in japan.
but i can talk about this another day <3
thank you for takeing the time to read my experiance.
i heard he will perform again back in may and also will tour looks like, i so wish i could go and see him again.
well its been a month now since i got back from japan.
sudden announcment i know but yes i finaly had my first trip there.
waited 10 years for this moment and it finaly came.
I was thinking to go in may or august as i wanted to tie in my trip with seeing my idols.
i only went for 1 week but it was ideal really.
i only went for 1 week but it was ideal really.
the trip was not easy if im honest.
most people just hop on a plane and ride off into the sunset.
well for me it was not that easy as i struggle with difficultys.
im partly disabled.
I hate to brag about this but i have scoliosis and weak joints in the body,.
but you look at me and wouldent think i had anything wrong with me.
my spines fused so im limited with what i can do.
I dident go alone,.
i have to thank my farther for takeing me, if it was not for him, this trip would never of happend.
and a freind of mine was kind enough to help me find tickets for 2 shows i wanted to see.
it was not easy and i never done this before so it was a new experiance.
and it was a nightmare.
but it was all worth it.
I did see tottsu and tsuka when i was there.
how could i not.
gosh i was so nervus you guys.
saturday and sunday i went to see tsukas show.
i enjoyed it very much.
I was the only non japanese person there.
so i stood out quite badly,.
i suffer also from anxsiaty and it set off so bad when i was at parco theater.
i was close to leaveing completely, but i dident.
i was on my own alone. and i dont do well with loads of people.
tsuka wouldent know that i came from the other side of the world to see him , dosent that meen something >.< ehh
well …he did notice me when i was there.
actuly he looked at me quite alot, i was at the back of the audiance but my pale skin and red hair just does not blend in well where i was sitting i guess.
of course i dident mind being noticed, i meen isent that what a fan wants from there idol.
but i was so shy and nervus i dident do anything i just sat there watching,.
dident wave or smile, i guess i froze on the spot hmm.
did anyone else go to the show on saturday, did anyone notice a red hair girl.
well she was a nervus reck that day , not just because shes seeing her idol for the first time.
but also the journy it took to get there.
sitting in the theater i got emotinal , its stupid.
few years ago i had major sugery on my spine.
honestly it ruined my life.
i have had 9 operations in total in my life and going to the hospital is like going to school for me.
well that last op just ruined everything, and well i gave up on life completely.
almost died in the hospital bed as i dident eat and got so weak and given alot of medication, sitting there thinking whats the fucking point.
my mother reduced to tears and my family struggleing seeing me in that state.
but i was used to it, i had been there before.
But you know , i dident give up, not for me but for my family and freinds.
its taken years to get back on my feet again.
sounds stupid but its true. while recovering also a.b.c-z did help me pull though.
i forced myself out of bed in alot of pain to watch them on the computer and stuff.
made myself shower and eat.
doing just the simpleist of things was a nightmare.
had stupid disabilty apliances around the house to help me get by and had a family memeber to help me down the stairs as i wanted to move around freely.
gosh wow im going off topic.
ahhh the point is they helped me pull though and if it was not for them, then i wouldent be here today.
thinking all this crap while i see him peform sitting there.
“i wouldent be here if it was not for you.”
he wouldent know that though . i wish i waved or at least smiled at him, but i dident. i didnt know what to do -_-.
i went to the same show on sunday aswell, and i was alot closer this time.
i dressed up saturday but not sunday, i went as myself.
sunday i noticed some boys come in, i thought to myself, finaly nice to see some male fans.
i saw them standing at the side waiting to come in, i was the only one who noticed.
when they walked though all the girls started to gasp and gossip to one another.
i had no clue what was going on, but then i realised that they were actuly from the company aswell, (johnnys entertanment) there was 5 of them all together,.
they came to support tsuka, just like me,
it was nice to see that, i recognized 2 of them , one of them was nikaido Takashi from kis my ft2 and the other Daisuke Sakuma from snow man.
as for the others im not shure where they were from.
so yeah that was something and of course they noticed me too.
i was closer to tsuka this day and i could have a better look at him.
but thats bad for me because he gets a better look at my ugly face, and oh boy did he look
so much infact it got to the point where i couldent handle it.
i dont like it when people stare at me but he had a right good look.
i had my chance to wave or smile , but again i dident.
i was shakeing inside like eh i dident know what to do.
he didnt smile at me just…….nothing really. i wish i knew what he was thinking
perhaps he is thinking “Never seen her before”
im negative on myself alot, i would hate to think that he thinks im ugly.
im used to comments like that from my fellow british people.
partly due to my low confidance,….thanks guys.
at home i kept thinking “oh i bet he would like to see me, perhaps he would like me”
but being with the fans these stunning japanese females and in a new world i was very scared “perhaps i shouldent of come here”
i question myself alot.
But you know though i hate people looking at me, hmm i at that moment thought seeing him look at me i………….kinda liked it >.< i meen he is my idol after all.
my heart was pounding honestly,
and when he left the stage, my heart sank,
i knew i had to go , …….an hour past but it did feel longer than that,.
i wish i had to confidance to do something,.
I even had a gift with me but i knew that was honestly pushing it if i had a chance to see him face to face talking really *sigh*.
i dont want him to hate me.,
perhaps he was curious or happy that an unknown face in the croud came to see the show.
gosh im rambleing again arnt i.
im sorry i just cant stop thinking about it.
btw though sunday was the best day for me, it was also my worst because i lost my mobile phone, great huh.
lost all my traval photos and everything.
so sadly i cant share my enjoyable experiance -_-.
but i can tresure the memories i have gathered on my journy in my mind.
I hope to visit japan again soon.
and to see him again.
i wanna see all of abcz next time.
i hope it comes sooner rather than later, i dont want to wait forever.
I went to see netorare sosuke on my last day in japan.
but i can talk about this another day <3
thank you for takeing the time to read my experiance.
i heard he will perform again back in may and also will tour looks like, i so wish i could go and see him again.