(no subject)
Dont you hate it when you are accused of something you know to god you didnt do? I've lied in life, one of which was good the rest were little petty ones to my mom, doesnt eveyone? And from that one time i learned never to lie again, if you know the story it wasnt pretty and it wasnt even all my fault. Now one of my dear friends thinks i did something and sure all signs lead to me but i know in my heart it wasnt me. One thing I do not do is betray friends. When the whole big lie happened, I never betrayed the friend that started it, and hey they still are my friends. I guess i get hurt for being to nice. If this latest one i had done would i actually tell them? NO! Thats just being a horrible person. My IP Addy doesnt even match i think. Even if she doesnt look at me as a friend anymore to me she still is because she's helped me in a lot and had my back, and when something was posted about her on a message board i called her, busted my butt and almost got myself kicked off from a bored that was one of my favorites. I tried being the best friend i could but i guess it wasnt good enough. Hell im going back to school tommorow, guess i wont have any friends. Tell me then, if i wasnt so trusting why was it I was almost killed? I trusted this other girl to much and gave to many chances to her bf even after numerous times of being threatened. Why is it i've had the same best friend my whole life since i was a baby. Never betrayed her. How about my friend from 5th grade? I bust my butt being a friend because i know how valuable they are. Sure i dont have many and today i lost a very close one because they think i did something i didnt do. I tried proving it wasnt me but guess they think it makes it look more as if i did it. Last night i went to bed trying to figure out who it couldve been. I got up at 2 am to send emails to a few people asking about it! I wouldnt do anything like this just days after i got back from seeing my dad or any time. I am personally against one of the sites like the one this happened on and the only times i sent them info was a picture i had taken (Yes it was mine) and one other time i have a picture from the race i was at. Dont think im gonna make it back to school, im freaking out over that and now this just even help. I dont take stress well and the big blow up a couple months ago stressed me out more than i can imagine. I went to bed at night and was danunted,still am over it. I cry about it because it makes me look like a bad person that i didnt want to happen. Im crying because im being accussed of it and it wasnt me. Im a vaunrable person and i guess people just wanna keep hurting me for things i dont deserve. I guess im worthless, not even gonna graduate high school at this rate. Not gonna get my dreams. I ask why me, maybe i shouldve been killed that day