Broken hearts and torn up letters
So I know its been awhile since I posted here but there are some things I need to say I cant say on myspace so Im just gonna go here and say them.First off My job is hell and I hate it there Im really depressed but I cant do anything about it at the moment I mean my dad is going to bank tomorrow I might try going with and hunting I cant stand the wild wings I dont wanna be there.Everytime my friends go in there they complain about the service and I feel so bad even though I cant do a thing about it.I dont wanna work in a place that people hate! Secondly my best friend is a bitch and Im not taking it anymore so thats over with Im sick of here telling me what to do Im fucking 20 dont tell me how to live my damn life! Thirdly (I saved worst for last) My boyfriend broke up with me on Thursday and I understand why but dont at the same time.He broke up with me due to fact I was happy to be with me....I guess alittle to happy...Im guessing merely due to fact we moved fast.I mean we started talking end of October by the following Wed. we actually got together and hung out by Saturday we were making out and dated for a week then got in a relationship.Most people know of my feelings and when I get good ones and bad ones and they are never wrong.I have feeling this is gonna last I have a feeling its not over.I do go out and date alot so to speak however you can always feel connection(you know what I mean) and I know its there Im not gonna call him and asshole for breaking up with me before Christmas but it hurt alot I have been hurt by every guy in my path but because he means so much to me it hurt so much more than I could bare.When Im not out with people I think alot and because Im always helping people with problems I think a tad bit fast I guess you can say.In away I let him end it because thats what he wanted what about his feelings? well hell what about mine? Im always doing whatn everyone else wants to make them happy.I cant go to him and be like look I dont like single we need to get back together.I wanna talk with him and be like Dont say anything until Im done.Now look I understand why we broke up and you know I would rather have you as friend then nothing in my life.I want you in mine and you want me in yours.But I dont like being alone.Like always I did what the other person wanted why didnt I have say? I dont wanna jump back in a relationship but I dont wanna be just friends why cant we be just on that dating line and work from there.To be honest thats what I want.I just want him to hold my hand and kiss me thats all.Everybody says that if I date someone else he will come back cause he will be jealous.But what if he hurts instead I dont want that and I dont want anybody else but him.