Timeless Love Pt 2
After that day, Tao didn’t show up at the café for a while. He would just lay in bed, cursing himself and his power. The fourth day, about the time he would usually show up at the café, someone started to pound on his door. Confused, he shuffled to the door and opened it to reveal the very person he had been trying to avoid.
“H-hey,” Kris stammered as he looked at Tao with a mixture of concern and confusion. “This may seem random, but would you like to go watch a movie with me?”
Tao stared at the blonde for a few moments, his mind in a panic. For a reason he could not fathom, Kris was remembering more and more from their talks, and now he was standing outside his apartment asking him out. It was times like these that he could almost believe time was starting to fix itself, but then he would be rudely jerked back to reality when it ended the same way.
“No. Go away!” He slammed the door in Kris’s face, trying to ignore the stricken look the older had when he was rejected. His death that night was especially hard to handle because Kris had looked happy to see him right before he died.
A new routine formed in Tao’s life after that night. Kris would show up at his apartment and invite him to do various things; usually a movie or a visit to a local carnival that Tao didn’t even know was in town. He always said no, when he actually choose to answer the door, but one day it became too much.
“What is it this time?” Tao asked as he pulled the door open.
Kris just smiled and handed him a cup of his favorite coffee from the café and pushed his way into the apartment. It was the first time he had ever managed to get in, and he wasted no time in making himself at home. Too tired to fight with him, Tao plopped down on the couch next to the blonde and turned on the TV.
“Have you been avoiding me?” Kris asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know, I just feel like you have been.”
Curious, Tao asked a question that had been plaguing his mind for a while. “Kris, how did we meet?”
“You don’t remember? It was at… the…” Kris scrunched his nose as he tried to remember exactly where he had met the dark haired boy.
“What did you do yesterday?”
“Same as usual, I followed Baekhyun around on his schedules until 3pm, then I had a couple of meetings and went home. Nothing special.”
“When was the last time we hung out, before today?”
Kris shifted uncomfortably as he realized he couldn’t actually remember ever meeting the boy before. He had a vague feeling of knowing him, of wanting to be around him. Something had drawn him to this apartment, but he recalled not knowing why he was here until Tao had opened the door. “I don’t know,” he whispered softly as he looked at Tao, hoping he had the answer.
“So, before today you don’t remember me at all, yet you feel like we have known each other for months?”
“Yeah, strange isn’t it. When did we meet?”
Tao just shook his head and got up to make them something quick to eat. “You really shouldn’t come here anymore Kris, it’s too hard for me.”
“Hard? What do you mean?” Kris asked as he helped Tao put together the sandwiches.
Sighing, Tao rubbed his eyes. He could already feel a headache setting in. He had about three hours left, and he didn’t want to spend them with the blonde wishing he could stop it from happening. “Forget it, it’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” Kris said as he grabbed Tao’s wrist and turned him around. “Something is obliviously bothering you, and I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”
“It’s nothing you would understand, so just let it go.”
“Tao-“
“Wu Fan, I don’t want to talk about it.”
Kris’s eyes widened at the anger in his voice. He had never heard him raise his voice, nor did he ever call him by his real name. It hurt knowing Tao was keeping something from him, but he couldn’t think of a way to talk to him about it without getting yelled at. “Alright, if that’s what you want.”
Swallowing his guilt at the hurt in Kris’s eyes, Tao focused on eating his lunch. He took comfort in the knowledge that Kris wouldn’t remember any of this tomorrow, he would still be smiling and happy to see him. Though he dreaded facing tonight, watching Kris die believing that he was angry at him.
“Hey Tao?”
“Yeah?”
“What would be your perfect date?”
“What!” Tao chocked on his sandwich. “W-why do you ask?” Kris shrugged, but it was obvious he was expecting an answer. “Um, I guess just spending the day together, doing whatever.”
Kris blinked at him before giving him one of his smirking half smiles. “Care to be a bit more specific?”
“Not really,” Tao said as he shifted uncomfortably. In fact, he had thought about it, but he wasn’t about to tell Kris his sappy idea of the perfect date.
“Oh come on, I won’t laugh. I promise.”
“No.”
“Please?”
Tao groaned. The blonde was jutting his bottom lip out in a pout that looked entirely too cute and he felt his will crumble. How could he say no to that face? “Fine, if it’ll make you happy. It would start by waking up before dawn and walking through the park as the sun rose. There is a hill there that is perfect for watching the sunrise. Then we would eat breakfast at a local café before window shopping downtown. He would secretly buy me something I had my eye on, but didn’t want to spend the money for and give it to me later. I would do the same. After catching a quick dinner, we would sit in the park again and snuggle as the sun set.”
“A bit of a romantic, aren’t you?”
“Shut up.” Tao grumbled as he playfully hit the older on the arm. He wouldn’t admit it, but he had once imagined going on such a date with Kris. But then he would remember they would never be able to finish it. Kris would be dead before dinner.
About an hour later Kris left, promising to come again tomorrow. Tao cried himself to sleep next to the blonde’s body that night.
Something tickling his nose woke him early the next morning, the sun had yet to rise and his room was cast in darkness. He heard someone chuckle as he swatted the thing annoying him away, only to realize it was a hand. “Who?”
“Guess.” A deep voice he instantly recognized said as fingers ran through his hair.
“Kris, what are you doing here?”
“The perfect date, remember?”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Come on, we don’t want to be late.”
“Kris, aren’t you supposed to ask me out on a date before you show up and cart me away from my warm bed?” So I have time to mentally prepare myself for it.
“Where’s the fun in that? Come on, you have all time in the world to sleep, but only now to go on this date with me.”
“What’s wrong with tomorrow? It would be the same.”
“The sun never rises or sets the same way twice, Tao. The way the colors dance across the sky and dust the clouds is always different, just as no two snowflakes are the same.”
“Now who’s the romantic?” Tao teased as he dragged himself out of bed. He couldn’t ignore the butterflies he felt at the idea of spending the entire day with Kris just how he had dreamed.
The day was the very definition of perfect for the couple. The sunrise had been one of the most colorful Tao had ever seen, and Kris had insisted on holding him as they watched. They picked up coffee at their usual café before hitting the stores. It was still early and most of the places were closed, but that didn’t bother them. They walked around chatting until they were finally able to go inside the shops. Kris had gotten him a panda plushy he had been eyeing even before he met the blonde, and he had gotten him a dragon phone charm which the older had immediately attached. Tao giggled as Kris used it as a chance to ask for his phone number, forgetting that it wouldn’t matter tomorrow.
The afternoon was hot, as it always was, and they decided to cool off while watching a movie. They decided on a movie they both had seen, but enjoyed. The theater was mostly empty as they settled into the back row. Once the lights dimmed and the commercials started to play, Kris reached over and took Tao’s hand in his own. He held it softly, playing with his fingers and drawing designs on the skin. Tao didn’t remember much of the movie, but he could recall the way Kris smiled when he looked at him, the way his eyes lit up when he placed a soft kiss onto his hand.
Lifting the armrest between them, Kris gently pulled Tao into his side. They stayed like that, cuddling together, until the movie ended. As Tao reluctantly pulled away, Kris stopped him and tilted the younger’s face back to look at him. Tao’s breath hitched when he felt lips on his own, soft and gentle.
He landed on the ground with a loud thud as the smell of burning rubber hit him. Disoriented from the unexpected fall, it took him a moment to realize where he was. With a jolt, he scrambled to his feet and rushed to Kris’s side. A strangled cry tore from his throat as picked him up and held him close.
Kris’s eyes fluttered open and met the distraught boy’s. “Don’t cry,” he whispered, his voice scratchy and filled with pain. Gathering the last of his strength, he reached up and stroked Tao’s cheek.
Placing his hand over Kris’, Tao gave it a soft squeeze. “Please, don’t leave me again.” He begged, his voice breaking as tears fell freely. “I can’t do this anymore.”
The older smiled softly as hushed the younger man, “Death isn’t the end, Tao. Love doesn’t stop just because one of us leaves, it’ll last long past the end of time.”
The next day Tao woke early and headed towards the park. He watched the sunrise, trying to memorize how it looked. Kris had told him that no two were the same, and he wanted to see if that was true even in the endless loop he had caused. He couldn’t see any differences; it looked the same as it had the day before. He spent the day going to all the same places Kris had taken him. Just as he was walking into the theater, his phone rang. It wasn’t a number he recognized, but somehow he knew who was on the other end. It shouldn’t be possible, but when he answered a deep voice greeted him.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Watching a movie.”
“Alone? Can I join you then? I have nothing else to do and there’s one I have been dying to see.”
“Not today, I just need some time to think.”
“Oh, ok. Maybe tomorrow then?
“Yeah, maybe.” Silence stretched on for a minute and Tao was beginning to think Kris had hung up on him.
“Hey Tao?”
“Yeah?”
“I never got the chance to tell you on our date, but I love you. I really do.”
Not giving Tao a chance to respond, Kris ended the call. For the second time, Tao watched the movie without seeing it. The older’s words echoed in his mind, driving him insane. He felt the same, and the knowledge that they could never really be together brought him to tears. Even if things kept going this way, watching the man he loved die day after day would slowly kill him. It already was. Things kept slipping past the endless cycle, Kris remembering their date was proof of that, but it didn’t change how everything ended.
Kris’s repeated his love for the younger as death claimed him, and once again Tao was left crying himself to sleep.
Over the next week he tried to find a way to stop the loop using his power, but strangely he couldn’t even feel it. It used to be as easy as a thought to stop a leaf from falling, but now when he tried he just ended up with a headache. Kris continued to tell him how much he loved him every day, but he never said it back. He couldn’t. Somehow, saying it out loud would make the pain a hundred times worse.
“Hey Tao?”
Kris’s voice drew him out of his thoughts. They were sitting at their favorite café, people watching and talking about random subjects. “Yeah?”
“Don’t you think it’s time to move on?”
“What do you mean?” Tao shifted nervously as Kris gave him a knowing look. Something in his eyes showed knowledge far beyond what he should have.
“I can see it Tao, your eyes have lost some of their sparkle, and it gets worse every day.”
Tao forced a smile on his face and laughed awkwardly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m fine. Just a bit tired is all. I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately.”
“And if things keep going like this is it going to get better?” Tao didn’t answer; there was nothing he could say. “I hate seeing you like this Tao. I feel like I’m slowly losing you and it kills me knowing I’m the cause.”
Tao froze, his blood chilling as his mind raced. There was no way Kris knew about the time loop, it wasn’t possible. “You’re not-“
“I’m going to die Tao, by now you should know there is nothing you can do to stop it.”
“H-how do you know about that?”
Kris sighed, taking a long drink before shifting his gaze to the street outside. “I didn’t, for a long time. I don’t know how many days went by before I finally realized something wasn’t right. One day I realized I was being pulled toward something, toward you. It got stronger with time until I could tell exactly where you were at any time. I knew when you were sad and when you were happy, I feel it in my heart. Our date is when things really started to change.”
“Changed how?” Tao asked, his voice barely a whisper as he tried to understand the implications of what he was hearing.
“When I woke the next morning, I remembered dying the night before, and the way you looked so lost as you held me. And every day after that, every time I would tell you how much I loved you, I could see something breaking inside your soul. And it’s not going to get any better Tao. I know you well enough by now to know you’ve already tried everything you can think of to stop this, and nothing works. The only thing you have left to do, is to let me go. Accept that I’m going to die, and let yourself move on.”
“No!” Tao shouted as stood up, his chair falling backward from the force. “No, just because I haven’t figured it out yet, doesn’t mean I won’t.” Ignoring Kris’s pleas for him to come back, he ran out of the café and didn’t stop until he heard the squeal of tires.
He didn’t look back, he just stood up and started to run again. When he woke up in his bed the following morning his face was already stained with tears. Trying to avoid Kris, Tao hopped on a bus and headed toward a nearby town. Kris found him trying to forget his sorrows in a bar, empty bottles scattered on the table. Ignoring the look of pity and disappointment in the older’s face, Tao continued to drink himself into oblivion. Kris didn’t say anything, just stayed by his side until the inevitable accident pulled them back to reality.
Tao woke to an unfamiliar room, but he recognized Kris’s scent on the sheets and allowed himself to relax. When Kris came into the room with breakfast, he couldn’t bring himself to look the older in the eyes. “Why am I here?”
“Because I didn’t want to watch you try to drown yourself in alcohol a second time. Are you trying to kill yourself?”
Tao laughed, but it was broken and awkward. “Maybe that will finally put an end to this.”
“No.” Kris’s voice was hard and thick with anger. His eyes flashed dangerously, and Tao knew he had crossed a line. In all the time they had been together, the older had never been angry, especially not at him. “I had better not catch you even thinking about trying something so completely idiotic as killing yourself again, Tao. It will solve nothing.”
“Do you have any idea how much it hurts to watch you die every single day?” Tao shouted, his own temper flaring up. “I love you, and I have to watch you die because I was too stupid to look for cars before I crossed the street. I love you, but no matter what I do I can’t save you.” Tao’s anger faded into despair as he spoke, his voice breaking at the end.
Kris pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back and whispering comforts as Tao cried himself out. “I know it’s not fair, but we can’t change it. Thanks to this, whatever it is, we’ve had the chance to get to know each other, to fall in love, and I’m truly thankful for that. But it’s time to let go, Tao. Embrace the memories we made, and I will never truly leave you.”
“Yes you will.” Tao sobbed as he desperately grabbed onto the older’s shirt.
“Our love has already reached beyond time Tao, that’s not going to end just because this body is gone. I’ll always be with you in spirit, watching over you. I’ll be next to you when you watch the sunrise, when you look up at the stars and marvel at how large the universe is, and when you laugh with your friends. Life has so much more to offer you then this, but you’ll never get to experience it if you keep holding on to me.”
“But I don’t want to lose you. We could make this work, I’ll learn to deal with it somehow if it means I get to spend time with you.”
“No,” Kris whispered at he held Tao closer. “I can already see it, you’re dying Tao. The light in your eyes is fading each time you watch me die, and it kills me. I want to see you happy, and you never will be like this.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Kris.”
“You won’t.”
They spent the day in each other’s arms, cuddling on the couch watching a random drama. Every time Tao started to panic, to think about losing him, Kris would hold him closer and whisper sweet nothings and promises that everything would be ok. It helped, and the younger slowly came to accept that Kris was right, he had to let go so they could move on. He knew how much it hurt to watch the one he loved die, he could only imagine how much it would pain Kris to remember every time he died knowing it was causing him heartbreak.
“Promise me something.” Kris was running his fingers through the younger’s hair, trying to distract him from the approaching time.
“Anything.”
“Don’t give up on life. I’ll never leave your side, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find love again. If someone else comes along that loves you the way you deserve, don’t push them aside because of me.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever find someone as perfect as you, Kris.”
Laughing softly, Kris gave Tao’s nose a soft tap. “Promise me, please? The world is vast and you are still young, too young to close yourself off from feeling love again.”
Tao stayed silent for several minutes as he contemplated the older’s request. He honestly didn’t think he would ever feel the same way about another person. In the end he realized it didn’t matter. As long as he found happiness in life, whether it was with another partner or just in the friendships he had, Kris would be at peace. They had been given this time to create memories together, something that would have been lost if he had never tried to reverse time. “I promise.”
The smile that spread over Kris’ face at that moment was filled with both joy and peace, and Tao quickly burned it into his mind. He felt something shift inside him at that moment, a strange sense of acceptance and understanding, and he knew that this would be the last time. “I love you so much,” he said as he buried his face in the older’s shirt, breathing in his scent so nothing would be forgotten.
“I love you too, so very much.”
Tao stumbled onto the ground, his knees scrapping as he hit the hard asphalt. He turned behind him and watched a red sports car race off, leaving a bleeding body behind. A light rain started to fall as he picked Kris up and held him in his arms, his tears mixing with the rain. “Thank you,” he tried to keep is voice from breaking, “for saving me.”
Kris smiled weakly as he looked at the man he loved and would willingly die a thousand times to protect. At that moment he remembered the first time they met in that café, the first time he laid eyes on the one who stole his heart. They had talked for a few hours until Tao’s editor had called and the boy left. Something had called out to him, pestered him into following the younger. You could call it a premonition, and what he had seen was Tao’s crumbled and bloodied body laying on the street without anyone around to help him. Images of the future he could have had, the lives he could have touched and happiness he was supposed to experience, flashed through his mind. It was then that Kris first made the decision to sacrifice his own life so that Tao could live his. And it was a choice he didn’t regret.
“Love is not bound by time, Tao, and ours will never fade.”
That night Tao cried the hardest he ever had, but he knew he wasn’t alone. He could feel Kris standing next to him, giving him strength.
******
Six Months Later
“Love is not something that can be caged or measured; it is not bound by the laws of mortality and time. It does not grow old, it does not die or vanish into the night just because someone has lost their physical body. Love is the strongest emotion, and it is a blessing for those who feel its truest form.”
Tao closed the book, fighting back a tear as the audience applauded. There wasn’t a dry eye amongst those who had come to hear him read the last chapter from his newest book, Timeless Love. He saw his friends standing in the back and made his way toward them.
“That was wonderful Tao,” Luhan said, his voice hoarse.
“I can’t believe my brother helped you write something so touching, I never thought he was much of a romantic.” Baekhyun said as he gave the taller man a hug. “But I’m sure he would have loved it and been proud of you.
Tao felt a hand lightly squeeze his shoulder, and he knew without looking that no one was there, at least not visible. “He taught me a lot about love, Baekhyun, and I count myself lucky I got to know him.”
He had never told anyone about his relationship with Kris, instead he said they were just friends that would meet at the café. As he promised, he introduced Baekhyun to Luhan, and the two had hit it off immediately. The diva was the new face of Premier Exotics and a rising star amongst models. Over the last few months Baekhyun had become like a younger brother to him and Tao had taken over as his manager. Well, one of his managers. Truthfully all he did was watch his photo shoots and take him out to coffee at the end of a long day.
And always, he felt Kris standing beside him, watching over him. Whenever he was sad, he would feel a hand rubbing his back and hear whispered words of comfort and encouragements. When he was happy he could feel Kris smiling next to him, enjoying the moment too. Kris had been right, their love was truly timeless, and he knew that someday they would be together again.
“H-hey,” Kris stammered as he looked at Tao with a mixture of concern and confusion. “This may seem random, but would you like to go watch a movie with me?”
Tao stared at the blonde for a few moments, his mind in a panic. For a reason he could not fathom, Kris was remembering more and more from their talks, and now he was standing outside his apartment asking him out. It was times like these that he could almost believe time was starting to fix itself, but then he would be rudely jerked back to reality when it ended the same way.
“No. Go away!” He slammed the door in Kris’s face, trying to ignore the stricken look the older had when he was rejected. His death that night was especially hard to handle because Kris had looked happy to see him right before he died.
A new routine formed in Tao’s life after that night. Kris would show up at his apartment and invite him to do various things; usually a movie or a visit to a local carnival that Tao didn’t even know was in town. He always said no, when he actually choose to answer the door, but one day it became too much.
“What is it this time?” Tao asked as he pulled the door open.
Kris just smiled and handed him a cup of his favorite coffee from the café and pushed his way into the apartment. It was the first time he had ever managed to get in, and he wasted no time in making himself at home. Too tired to fight with him, Tao plopped down on the couch next to the blonde and turned on the TV.
“Have you been avoiding me?” Kris asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know, I just feel like you have been.”
Curious, Tao asked a question that had been plaguing his mind for a while. “Kris, how did we meet?”
“You don’t remember? It was at… the…” Kris scrunched his nose as he tried to remember exactly where he had met the dark haired boy.
“What did you do yesterday?”
“Same as usual, I followed Baekhyun around on his schedules until 3pm, then I had a couple of meetings and went home. Nothing special.”
“When was the last time we hung out, before today?”
Kris shifted uncomfortably as he realized he couldn’t actually remember ever meeting the boy before. He had a vague feeling of knowing him, of wanting to be around him. Something had drawn him to this apartment, but he recalled not knowing why he was here until Tao had opened the door. “I don’t know,” he whispered softly as he looked at Tao, hoping he had the answer.
“So, before today you don’t remember me at all, yet you feel like we have known each other for months?”
“Yeah, strange isn’t it. When did we meet?”
Tao just shook his head and got up to make them something quick to eat. “You really shouldn’t come here anymore Kris, it’s too hard for me.”
“Hard? What do you mean?” Kris asked as he helped Tao put together the sandwiches.
Sighing, Tao rubbed his eyes. He could already feel a headache setting in. He had about three hours left, and he didn’t want to spend them with the blonde wishing he could stop it from happening. “Forget it, it’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” Kris said as he grabbed Tao’s wrist and turned him around. “Something is obliviously bothering you, and I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”
“It’s nothing you would understand, so just let it go.”
“Tao-“
“Wu Fan, I don’t want to talk about it.”
Kris’s eyes widened at the anger in his voice. He had never heard him raise his voice, nor did he ever call him by his real name. It hurt knowing Tao was keeping something from him, but he couldn’t think of a way to talk to him about it without getting yelled at. “Alright, if that’s what you want.”
Swallowing his guilt at the hurt in Kris’s eyes, Tao focused on eating his lunch. He took comfort in the knowledge that Kris wouldn’t remember any of this tomorrow, he would still be smiling and happy to see him. Though he dreaded facing tonight, watching Kris die believing that he was angry at him.
“Hey Tao?”
“Yeah?”
“What would be your perfect date?”
“What!” Tao chocked on his sandwich. “W-why do you ask?” Kris shrugged, but it was obvious he was expecting an answer. “Um, I guess just spending the day together, doing whatever.”
Kris blinked at him before giving him one of his smirking half smiles. “Care to be a bit more specific?”
“Not really,” Tao said as he shifted uncomfortably. In fact, he had thought about it, but he wasn’t about to tell Kris his sappy idea of the perfect date.
“Oh come on, I won’t laugh. I promise.”
“No.”
“Please?”
Tao groaned. The blonde was jutting his bottom lip out in a pout that looked entirely too cute and he felt his will crumble. How could he say no to that face? “Fine, if it’ll make you happy. It would start by waking up before dawn and walking through the park as the sun rose. There is a hill there that is perfect for watching the sunrise. Then we would eat breakfast at a local café before window shopping downtown. He would secretly buy me something I had my eye on, but didn’t want to spend the money for and give it to me later. I would do the same. After catching a quick dinner, we would sit in the park again and snuggle as the sun set.”
“A bit of a romantic, aren’t you?”
“Shut up.” Tao grumbled as he playfully hit the older on the arm. He wouldn’t admit it, but he had once imagined going on such a date with Kris. But then he would remember they would never be able to finish it. Kris would be dead before dinner.
About an hour later Kris left, promising to come again tomorrow. Tao cried himself to sleep next to the blonde’s body that night.
Something tickling his nose woke him early the next morning, the sun had yet to rise and his room was cast in darkness. He heard someone chuckle as he swatted the thing annoying him away, only to realize it was a hand. “Who?”
“Guess.” A deep voice he instantly recognized said as fingers ran through his hair.
“Kris, what are you doing here?”
“The perfect date, remember?”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Come on, we don’t want to be late.”
“Kris, aren’t you supposed to ask me out on a date before you show up and cart me away from my warm bed?” So I have time to mentally prepare myself for it.
“Where’s the fun in that? Come on, you have all time in the world to sleep, but only now to go on this date with me.”
“What’s wrong with tomorrow? It would be the same.”
“The sun never rises or sets the same way twice, Tao. The way the colors dance across the sky and dust the clouds is always different, just as no two snowflakes are the same.”
“Now who’s the romantic?” Tao teased as he dragged himself out of bed. He couldn’t ignore the butterflies he felt at the idea of spending the entire day with Kris just how he had dreamed.
The day was the very definition of perfect for the couple. The sunrise had been one of the most colorful Tao had ever seen, and Kris had insisted on holding him as they watched. They picked up coffee at their usual café before hitting the stores. It was still early and most of the places were closed, but that didn’t bother them. They walked around chatting until they were finally able to go inside the shops. Kris had gotten him a panda plushy he had been eyeing even before he met the blonde, and he had gotten him a dragon phone charm which the older had immediately attached. Tao giggled as Kris used it as a chance to ask for his phone number, forgetting that it wouldn’t matter tomorrow.
The afternoon was hot, as it always was, and they decided to cool off while watching a movie. They decided on a movie they both had seen, but enjoyed. The theater was mostly empty as they settled into the back row. Once the lights dimmed and the commercials started to play, Kris reached over and took Tao’s hand in his own. He held it softly, playing with his fingers and drawing designs on the skin. Tao didn’t remember much of the movie, but he could recall the way Kris smiled when he looked at him, the way his eyes lit up when he placed a soft kiss onto his hand.
Lifting the armrest between them, Kris gently pulled Tao into his side. They stayed like that, cuddling together, until the movie ended. As Tao reluctantly pulled away, Kris stopped him and tilted the younger’s face back to look at him. Tao’s breath hitched when he felt lips on his own, soft and gentle.
He landed on the ground with a loud thud as the smell of burning rubber hit him. Disoriented from the unexpected fall, it took him a moment to realize where he was. With a jolt, he scrambled to his feet and rushed to Kris’s side. A strangled cry tore from his throat as picked him up and held him close.
Kris’s eyes fluttered open and met the distraught boy’s. “Don’t cry,” he whispered, his voice scratchy and filled with pain. Gathering the last of his strength, he reached up and stroked Tao’s cheek.
Placing his hand over Kris’, Tao gave it a soft squeeze. “Please, don’t leave me again.” He begged, his voice breaking as tears fell freely. “I can’t do this anymore.”
The older smiled softly as hushed the younger man, “Death isn’t the end, Tao. Love doesn’t stop just because one of us leaves, it’ll last long past the end of time.”
The next day Tao woke early and headed towards the park. He watched the sunrise, trying to memorize how it looked. Kris had told him that no two were the same, and he wanted to see if that was true even in the endless loop he had caused. He couldn’t see any differences; it looked the same as it had the day before. He spent the day going to all the same places Kris had taken him. Just as he was walking into the theater, his phone rang. It wasn’t a number he recognized, but somehow he knew who was on the other end. It shouldn’t be possible, but when he answered a deep voice greeted him.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Watching a movie.”
“Alone? Can I join you then? I have nothing else to do and there’s one I have been dying to see.”
“Not today, I just need some time to think.”
“Oh, ok. Maybe tomorrow then?
“Yeah, maybe.” Silence stretched on for a minute and Tao was beginning to think Kris had hung up on him.
“Hey Tao?”
“Yeah?”
“I never got the chance to tell you on our date, but I love you. I really do.”
Not giving Tao a chance to respond, Kris ended the call. For the second time, Tao watched the movie without seeing it. The older’s words echoed in his mind, driving him insane. He felt the same, and the knowledge that they could never really be together brought him to tears. Even if things kept going this way, watching the man he loved die day after day would slowly kill him. It already was. Things kept slipping past the endless cycle, Kris remembering their date was proof of that, but it didn’t change how everything ended.
Kris’s repeated his love for the younger as death claimed him, and once again Tao was left crying himself to sleep.
Over the next week he tried to find a way to stop the loop using his power, but strangely he couldn’t even feel it. It used to be as easy as a thought to stop a leaf from falling, but now when he tried he just ended up with a headache. Kris continued to tell him how much he loved him every day, but he never said it back. He couldn’t. Somehow, saying it out loud would make the pain a hundred times worse.
“Hey Tao?”
Kris’s voice drew him out of his thoughts. They were sitting at their favorite café, people watching and talking about random subjects. “Yeah?”
“Don’t you think it’s time to move on?”
“What do you mean?” Tao shifted nervously as Kris gave him a knowing look. Something in his eyes showed knowledge far beyond what he should have.
“I can see it Tao, your eyes have lost some of their sparkle, and it gets worse every day.”
Tao forced a smile on his face and laughed awkwardly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m fine. Just a bit tired is all. I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately.”
“And if things keep going like this is it going to get better?” Tao didn’t answer; there was nothing he could say. “I hate seeing you like this Tao. I feel like I’m slowly losing you and it kills me knowing I’m the cause.”
Tao froze, his blood chilling as his mind raced. There was no way Kris knew about the time loop, it wasn’t possible. “You’re not-“
“I’m going to die Tao, by now you should know there is nothing you can do to stop it.”
“H-how do you know about that?”
Kris sighed, taking a long drink before shifting his gaze to the street outside. “I didn’t, for a long time. I don’t know how many days went by before I finally realized something wasn’t right. One day I realized I was being pulled toward something, toward you. It got stronger with time until I could tell exactly where you were at any time. I knew when you were sad and when you were happy, I feel it in my heart. Our date is when things really started to change.”
“Changed how?” Tao asked, his voice barely a whisper as he tried to understand the implications of what he was hearing.
“When I woke the next morning, I remembered dying the night before, and the way you looked so lost as you held me. And every day after that, every time I would tell you how much I loved you, I could see something breaking inside your soul. And it’s not going to get any better Tao. I know you well enough by now to know you’ve already tried everything you can think of to stop this, and nothing works. The only thing you have left to do, is to let me go. Accept that I’m going to die, and let yourself move on.”
“No!” Tao shouted as stood up, his chair falling backward from the force. “No, just because I haven’t figured it out yet, doesn’t mean I won’t.” Ignoring Kris’s pleas for him to come back, he ran out of the café and didn’t stop until he heard the squeal of tires.
He didn’t look back, he just stood up and started to run again. When he woke up in his bed the following morning his face was already stained with tears. Trying to avoid Kris, Tao hopped on a bus and headed toward a nearby town. Kris found him trying to forget his sorrows in a bar, empty bottles scattered on the table. Ignoring the look of pity and disappointment in the older’s face, Tao continued to drink himself into oblivion. Kris didn’t say anything, just stayed by his side until the inevitable accident pulled them back to reality.
Tao woke to an unfamiliar room, but he recognized Kris’s scent on the sheets and allowed himself to relax. When Kris came into the room with breakfast, he couldn’t bring himself to look the older in the eyes. “Why am I here?”
“Because I didn’t want to watch you try to drown yourself in alcohol a second time. Are you trying to kill yourself?”
Tao laughed, but it was broken and awkward. “Maybe that will finally put an end to this.”
“No.” Kris’s voice was hard and thick with anger. His eyes flashed dangerously, and Tao knew he had crossed a line. In all the time they had been together, the older had never been angry, especially not at him. “I had better not catch you even thinking about trying something so completely idiotic as killing yourself again, Tao. It will solve nothing.”
“Do you have any idea how much it hurts to watch you die every single day?” Tao shouted, his own temper flaring up. “I love you, and I have to watch you die because I was too stupid to look for cars before I crossed the street. I love you, but no matter what I do I can’t save you.” Tao’s anger faded into despair as he spoke, his voice breaking at the end.
Kris pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back and whispering comforts as Tao cried himself out. “I know it’s not fair, but we can’t change it. Thanks to this, whatever it is, we’ve had the chance to get to know each other, to fall in love, and I’m truly thankful for that. But it’s time to let go, Tao. Embrace the memories we made, and I will never truly leave you.”
“Yes you will.” Tao sobbed as he desperately grabbed onto the older’s shirt.
“Our love has already reached beyond time Tao, that’s not going to end just because this body is gone. I’ll always be with you in spirit, watching over you. I’ll be next to you when you watch the sunrise, when you look up at the stars and marvel at how large the universe is, and when you laugh with your friends. Life has so much more to offer you then this, but you’ll never get to experience it if you keep holding on to me.”
“But I don’t want to lose you. We could make this work, I’ll learn to deal with it somehow if it means I get to spend time with you.”
“No,” Kris whispered at he held Tao closer. “I can already see it, you’re dying Tao. The light in your eyes is fading each time you watch me die, and it kills me. I want to see you happy, and you never will be like this.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Kris.”
“You won’t.”
They spent the day in each other’s arms, cuddling on the couch watching a random drama. Every time Tao started to panic, to think about losing him, Kris would hold him closer and whisper sweet nothings and promises that everything would be ok. It helped, and the younger slowly came to accept that Kris was right, he had to let go so they could move on. He knew how much it hurt to watch the one he loved die, he could only imagine how much it would pain Kris to remember every time he died knowing it was causing him heartbreak.
“Promise me something.” Kris was running his fingers through the younger’s hair, trying to distract him from the approaching time.
“Anything.”
“Don’t give up on life. I’ll never leave your side, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find love again. If someone else comes along that loves you the way you deserve, don’t push them aside because of me.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever find someone as perfect as you, Kris.”
Laughing softly, Kris gave Tao’s nose a soft tap. “Promise me, please? The world is vast and you are still young, too young to close yourself off from feeling love again.”
Tao stayed silent for several minutes as he contemplated the older’s request. He honestly didn’t think he would ever feel the same way about another person. In the end he realized it didn’t matter. As long as he found happiness in life, whether it was with another partner or just in the friendships he had, Kris would be at peace. They had been given this time to create memories together, something that would have been lost if he had never tried to reverse time. “I promise.”
The smile that spread over Kris’ face at that moment was filled with both joy and peace, and Tao quickly burned it into his mind. He felt something shift inside him at that moment, a strange sense of acceptance and understanding, and he knew that this would be the last time. “I love you so much,” he said as he buried his face in the older’s shirt, breathing in his scent so nothing would be forgotten.
“I love you too, so very much.”
Tao stumbled onto the ground, his knees scrapping as he hit the hard asphalt. He turned behind him and watched a red sports car race off, leaving a bleeding body behind. A light rain started to fall as he picked Kris up and held him in his arms, his tears mixing with the rain. “Thank you,” he tried to keep is voice from breaking, “for saving me.”
Kris smiled weakly as he looked at the man he loved and would willingly die a thousand times to protect. At that moment he remembered the first time they met in that café, the first time he laid eyes on the one who stole his heart. They had talked for a few hours until Tao’s editor had called and the boy left. Something had called out to him, pestered him into following the younger. You could call it a premonition, and what he had seen was Tao’s crumbled and bloodied body laying on the street without anyone around to help him. Images of the future he could have had, the lives he could have touched and happiness he was supposed to experience, flashed through his mind. It was then that Kris first made the decision to sacrifice his own life so that Tao could live his. And it was a choice he didn’t regret.
“Love is not bound by time, Tao, and ours will never fade.”
That night Tao cried the hardest he ever had, but he knew he wasn’t alone. He could feel Kris standing next to him, giving him strength.
******
Six Months Later
“Love is not something that can be caged or measured; it is not bound by the laws of mortality and time. It does not grow old, it does not die or vanish into the night just because someone has lost their physical body. Love is the strongest emotion, and it is a blessing for those who feel its truest form.”
Tao closed the book, fighting back a tear as the audience applauded. There wasn’t a dry eye amongst those who had come to hear him read the last chapter from his newest book, Timeless Love. He saw his friends standing in the back and made his way toward them.
“That was wonderful Tao,” Luhan said, his voice hoarse.
“I can’t believe my brother helped you write something so touching, I never thought he was much of a romantic.” Baekhyun said as he gave the taller man a hug. “But I’m sure he would have loved it and been proud of you.
Tao felt a hand lightly squeeze his shoulder, and he knew without looking that no one was there, at least not visible. “He taught me a lot about love, Baekhyun, and I count myself lucky I got to know him.”
He had never told anyone about his relationship with Kris, instead he said they were just friends that would meet at the café. As he promised, he introduced Baekhyun to Luhan, and the two had hit it off immediately. The diva was the new face of Premier Exotics and a rising star amongst models. Over the last few months Baekhyun had become like a younger brother to him and Tao had taken over as his manager. Well, one of his managers. Truthfully all he did was watch his photo shoots and take him out to coffee at the end of a long day.
And always, he felt Kris standing beside him, watching over him. Whenever he was sad, he would feel a hand rubbing his back and hear whispered words of comfort and encouragements. When he was happy he could feel Kris smiling next to him, enjoying the moment too. Kris had been right, their love was truly timeless, and he knew that someday they would be together again.