Everything is changed...
My family and I were planning on going to Hawaii for 8 days. We were supposed to leave this Thursday. Now we aren't going. Why?? Because my mom broke a bone in her foot...basically right where I had my surgery stuff happen. So, she is going to be in a cast. So, the trip is postponed until probably March. At least this way I don't miss my SCAC even this weekend...and I can go see Best of Broadway...and I can spend more time with my Ben. Oh well...I guess this is just someones way of saying that we shouldn't be going on this trip.
I am upset with Shawna & Megan...not as much as I was the other day, but I am upset. It's like when they hang out together they can't involve me or Ben. For instance, the other day (when I first got upset) Megan had text me from work to ask if we wanted to hang out. Now at first I told her I wasn't sure because I wasn't sure if we were going to go to Downtown Disney to meet my friend and her new boyfriend. So, later while we were at Ben's sisters place I texted her and asked if she wanted to hang out still. She responded with, "well i don't know Shawna is here," making it sound like that because Shawna was there they couldn't hang out with us. So, I said to her, "well it's cool if you don't want to hang out. I mean it's not like its something we aren't used to," because they do that to us all the time. Well she didn't respond, so we just decided to go to Sacreds.
We get there and we run into Rita and Jared. Jared asks where Shawna & Megan are...and then asked to call them. Well, he ended up wanting me to drive him down there...he wanted us all to chill there but I can't because of the cats...so I was nice enough to drop him off. I was already pissed and Megan knew it so I just dropped him off and left. Ben and I headed back to Sacreds and when we got there we went down to the liquor store to get some snacks. We walk back up and who is standing on the corner by Sacreds?? Jared & Megan...you better believe I was heated. Shawna of course was at Jeremy's and dropped them off. Well, Jared and Megan went over to the parking lot and Ben and I stayed by Sacreds...and that's when I heard the shit about Dave.
So, I am sitting there and Megan and I started texting each other because I want to see if she knows why I am mad. Then out of no where she sends me a text saying, "well it seems like whenever we want to hang ot you are with Ben, and we want to hang out just the three of us," making it sound like I can't tell ben that I want to hang with the girls. I was more mad then than I was before because I have told Megan several times that I would gladly tell him that we are having a girls night if they just tell me. So, I told her to come talk to me, and I just went off on her. I was like "I can't believe that you think that I would be like that!! I don't jump at his every need. I am my own person and if I want to spend time with just my friends I will let him know!! Just because Shawna can't tell her boyfriend no doesn't mean I am like that...you guys never even asked me about having a girls night." I was just so upset, and we talked about it some and things were a little better. Then Megan basically told me she would rather hang out with Shawna than me because she doesn't get the opportunity with her as much.
On Saturday, while my mom and dad were at the hospital, Shawna & Megan came over. The first thing they did was get on the computer. They were on the computer the whole time. I felt like that was the only reason they came over...I guess I would have been ok if Ben were here but he didn't want to be here while they were because he is pissed too. It just looked bad...to me at least.
I don't know how to look at my friendships with them anymore, but I guess that will all come in time. We are ok hanging out (Ben & I) when it's just Megan...but when it's both of them it gets out of hand. I just don't know how to feel about it anymore. I am lost.
I am upset with Shawna & Megan...not as much as I was the other day, but I am upset. It's like when they hang out together they can't involve me or Ben. For instance, the other day (when I first got upset) Megan had text me from work to ask if we wanted to hang out. Now at first I told her I wasn't sure because I wasn't sure if we were going to go to Downtown Disney to meet my friend and her new boyfriend. So, later while we were at Ben's sisters place I texted her and asked if she wanted to hang out still. She responded with, "well i don't know Shawna is here," making it sound like that because Shawna was there they couldn't hang out with us. So, I said to her, "well it's cool if you don't want to hang out. I mean it's not like its something we aren't used to," because they do that to us all the time. Well she didn't respond, so we just decided to go to Sacreds.
We get there and we run into Rita and Jared. Jared asks where Shawna & Megan are...and then asked to call them. Well, he ended up wanting me to drive him down there...he wanted us all to chill there but I can't because of the cats...so I was nice enough to drop him off. I was already pissed and Megan knew it so I just dropped him off and left. Ben and I headed back to Sacreds and when we got there we went down to the liquor store to get some snacks. We walk back up and who is standing on the corner by Sacreds?? Jared & Megan...you better believe I was heated. Shawna of course was at Jeremy's and dropped them off. Well, Jared and Megan went over to the parking lot and Ben and I stayed by Sacreds...and that's when I heard the shit about Dave.
So, I am sitting there and Megan and I started texting each other because I want to see if she knows why I am mad. Then out of no where she sends me a text saying, "well it seems like whenever we want to hang ot you are with Ben, and we want to hang out just the three of us," making it sound like I can't tell ben that I want to hang with the girls. I was more mad then than I was before because I have told Megan several times that I would gladly tell him that we are having a girls night if they just tell me. So, I told her to come talk to me, and I just went off on her. I was like "I can't believe that you think that I would be like that!! I don't jump at his every need. I am my own person and if I want to spend time with just my friends I will let him know!! Just because Shawna can't tell her boyfriend no doesn't mean I am like that...you guys never even asked me about having a girls night." I was just so upset, and we talked about it some and things were a little better. Then Megan basically told me she would rather hang out with Shawna than me because she doesn't get the opportunity with her as much.
On Saturday, while my mom and dad were at the hospital, Shawna & Megan came over. The first thing they did was get on the computer. They were on the computer the whole time. I felt like that was the only reason they came over...I guess I would have been ok if Ben were here but he didn't want to be here while they were because he is pissed too. It just looked bad...to me at least.
I don't know how to look at my friendships with them anymore, but I guess that will all come in time. We are ok hanging out (Ben & I) when it's just Megan...but when it's both of them it gets out of hand. I just don't know how to feel about it anymore. I am lost.