Whatever...
I wanted to be mad at Ben so much last night...but I couldn't for too long. As you all know he and I have this "understanding", as he puts it, that I can see whoever I want and he can see whoever he wants. Well, the other night he was telling Megan, our mutual friend, that he wants to hook up with her. Megan is such a great friend she was telling him that she wouldn't do that to me because I am her friend and whatnot. He said that I would probably get more upset if it were Shawna...that's when Megan told him I would be upset if it were either of them, which is true because they are both my friends. He just simply said, "But we have an understanding." When she told me that I was pissed because, yeah we have an understanding, but that doesn't mean I would enjoy you hooking up with my friends. I swear man!! Usually I don't think this, but he was seriously thinking with his dick that night. I would never ever imagine hooking up with one of his friends because I think that is just wrong...maybe someone he doesn't know and never will know, but not one of his friends.
Anyway, I am not even really thinking about hooking up with anyone. I have had Rick calling me for the past week, but I don't think I could hook up with him. I mean I know this sounds stupid, but I would feel like I was cheating in a way...you know what I mean?? Plus, I know that he says it doesn't bother him, but I think when I talk to other guys he gets a little pissed. Like the guy from Megan's party. When I talked to him on the phone, with Ben there, Megan said he looked pissed...and he looked pissed at the party when I told her to hook me up. Then I was telling him about Rick, and he was just quiet like he didn't want to hear about it. FUCK!! Why can't he just tell me it bothers him?? I ask him, and he plays it off like it's nothing.
Whatever, whatever, whatever. He needs to just say it...stop pretending.