Breathe. Live, Love
2012 SuByung Fanfic Contest entry.
-
Sometimes I wish my life was different. Sometimes I wish I wasn't the esteemed niece of one of the richest mans in Seoul, or the heir to his acclaimed corporation. Or that I didn't have so many expectations to live up to, so many obligations to fulfill, that I didn't have to lie to those most important to me, my family and friends, to keep them happy.
Well…more of to keep them from judging me.
Sounds like I'm rather disappointed in my life but I'm not. I'm happy with what I've been given, but I need a breath of fresh air. I just feel so trapped sometimes.
Right now, I wish I didn't have a hundred and one things to worry about and could just stay here in her arms.
Sunny looked over her shoulder to see Hyomin still deep in slumber, her head nestled by the crook of Sunny's neck. Sunny smiled at the serene face before laying her head back onto her pillow. She lay comfortably in Hyomin's bed, her back snuggled against the other girl who had an arm draped over Sunny's waist. They lay peacefully together, the only source of light in the room radiated from the sun through the curtains.
Right now Hyomin is the only one who is able to keep me sane. She's a tall, beautiful girl with the greatest heart ever. She is so wonderful, full of life and love, I'm lucky to have met her. She has a much simpler lifestyle than I, who's left pressured everyday with million dollar deals, high end business ventures and other things I'd rather leave to others. She is a photographer who lives in a homey place with her roommates and pretty much lived an all around cheery, normal life. I wish I could live like that.
When Hyomin began to shift in her sleep, Sunny peaked over her shoulder again to greet the girl as she fought to open her eyelids.
"Morning," Sunny smiled.
"Mm," Hyomin merely mumbled before nuzzling her face back behind Sunny's head.
"Still sleepy?" Sunny giggled. Hyomin did not speak but simply shook her head, her response followed by her gentle, steady breathing. "I have to get up soon though," Sunny said.
Hyomin then wrapped her arm around Sunny, albeit very limply as she still had not completely awaken from her slumber to enforce enough strength. Sunny did not attempt to push her away though, she merely smiled and relaxed back into Hyomin's embrace.
I just feel so much at peace with her. I wouldn't trade a moment with her for anything. Right now, this tranquility is all I could ask for.
"Unnie!"
The sheet over the two girls was suddenly snatched away, leaving a cool breeze over the two as they curled their legs up.
"Ya! Jiyeon!" Hyomin, now rudely awoken, yelled up to the girl who disturbed their sleep.
"Thank God you guys have your pajamas on this time," Jiyeon commented as she bit on a piece of toast. "Unnie," Jiyeon called to Sunny, holding up a cell phone in her other hand, "you keep getting messages on your phone."
"I didn't hear it ring," Sunny said as she sat up in bed and accepted the phone from Jiyeon.
"That's because you left it outside," Jiyeon said before walking out of the room. Sunny saw she had five new messages on her phone and opened up the latest to read.
Taeyeon
You plan on attending this meeting?
Sunny quirked an eyebrow and looked up to the wall clock. It was close to 8:00, 30 minutes before her meeting would begin.
"Oh my God!" Sunny exclaimed as she jumped out of bed.
"What, what, what?"Hyomin asked as she watched Sunny dash across the room to pick up her clothing.
"I overslept! My meeting is in 30 minutes!" Sunny exclaimed before disappearing into the adjoined bathroom. Not wasting any time, she took a quick shower and hastily got dressed. Once suited in her blouse and skirt, she sped out of the bathroom while still drying her hair with a towel and began to collect her remaining belongings. Hyomin all the while watched her, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, holding a pillow over her lap.
"Ok," she said as she tossed the towel aside and grabbed her bag and jacket, "I have to run. I'll call you later!" she said before sprinting out of the room.
"Sunny!"
At the call of her name, Sunny immediately spun around and returned to the door of the room. "What?!" she asked anxiously. Did she leave something behind perhaps? In a sense, she somewhat did.
Hyomin smiled and pouted her lips. Sunny released a sigh of relief, relieved she had not forgotten anything but giggled at her lover's antic and walked to her bedside. She leaned down and connected her lips with Hyomin's soft ones into a loving kiss. When she pulled back, she smiled sweetly at the girl before her. "Bye!" she suddenly said before rushing out of the room, unaware of the frown that adorned Hyomin's face after she left.
She sped to the door, passing Jiyeon and Hyomin's house mates, Eunjung, but immediately skid to a halt and turned back around. "Wait, wait, where are my papers?"
"Right here," Eunjung mumbled, holding up a binder in her hand while chewing on her breakfast.
"Oh," Sunny rushed up to Eunjung and took her binder from her hand.
"Buttered toast?" Jiyeon offered holding up a slice of toast to Sunny.
"Oh thank you," Sunny said before grabbing the toast in her mouth and speeding off again.
"Sunny!" both Eunjung and Jiyeon called to her.
Sunny immediately stopped and turned back around again. "Mmpf?!" she muffled with the toast in her mouth. Both Eunjung and Jiyeon then pouted their lips at Sunny, mimicking Hyomin's earlier actions. Sunny dropped the toast into her hand and laughed. She blew a kiss to the two before finally making her way out of the house.
-
"You're late," Taeyeon said as Sunny hurriedly jogged up to her from the long corridor.
"I know, I know," Sunny said, "have they already started?" she asked as she kept walking on.
"No, they decided to wait," Taeyeon said, walking alongside Sunny to the conference room. "You're lucky they're in a good mood today. Your uncle included."
"Let's just get this over with."
-
After the meeting was over and their guests had taken leave, Sunny along with Taeyeon and now her uncle, Lee Soo Man, walked together through the corridors.
"You were late today Sunny," Sunny's uncle commented.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I overslept," Sunny said.
"You've been working very hard as of late," her uncle stated.
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine," Sunny said, offering a smile to her uncle.
As much as I'd like to get away from work, I often bury myself into it when I'm stressed. It's complicated.
"Nonetheless, you did really well today," her uncle said, offering her a proud smile.
My uncle thinks I'm some sort of a prodigy child. I'm not, honestly. I have to exert so much effort to keep my uncle satisfied, he has no idea.
"Take care of yourself okay? I will see both of you later," Lee So Man smiled at the girls before taking his leave in the other direction. The two girls bowed their heads to the elder man before continuing on to Sunny's office. As soon as they reached, Sunny placed her bag and files onto her coffee table and collapsed onto her sofa.
"So what's up?" Taeyeon asked her long time best friend as she sat by the edge of the sofa, "You seem awfully stressed these days."
"I'm just…tired, really," Sunny tiredly responded.
Taeyeon and I are best friends. I wish I could tell her the truth but I'm just so afraid. That alone is killing me that I can't tell my own best friend about the mess that I've made of my life.
The door to Sunny's office opened and a head of a young man looked in. "Hey there," he said when he noticed the girls on the sofa and walked into the room. Sunny smiled as she and Taeyeon stood up to address the man.
"Hey Sungmin," Sunny greeted him as he walked up to her. Sungmin placed a hand behind Sunny's back and placed a quick peck at the corner of her lips.
Sungmin here is my boyfriend. Yes, that's right. My boyfriend.
Yes, I know…
This would be the 'mess' I was referring to earlier.
"How did the meeting go?" he asked, smiling brightly.
"Oh you know, as usual, killed it and secured a deal for millions more than this company needs," Sunny jested causing the other two to laugh.
"That's great! So listen, I ran into your uncle in the hall, he wanted us to have dinner together tonight," Sungmin said.
"Um, sure, I think I'm free tonight," Sunny accepted.
"Alright then, I gotta get back to the office. I'll see you later," Sungmin said before placing another kiss over Sunny's cheek. "See you later Taeyeon," he said to Taeyeon as well before leaving Sunny's office.
I don't know how it happened. It just did and I don't know how to fix it anymore.
-
Around lunch time, Sunny left to meet with Hyomin at her friend's café. As she entered the café, she made her way up to the counter where a girl shorter than herself worked behind the counter.
"Hello Boram unnie," Sunny greeted her.
"Hello Sunny!" Boram brightly greeted her in return. "Hyomin said you were coming, so," Boram turned around to retrieve a cup from the back, "here's your usual and Hyomin's waiting downstairs," she said handing her the cup and pointing to the stairs to the right.
Sunny chuckled and accepted the drink. "Thank you, unnie!" she said before making her way to the staircase.
Her friends have grown so accustomed to me. Amazing how much support they show Hyomin.
Sunny walked down into the basement lounge which was currently empty excluding Hyomin's presence.
"Sunny!" Hyomin brightly exclaimed once she saw the short haired brunette approach her table. Sunny smiled at her and leant her head to down to share a quick kiss.
"Got to your meeting on time?" Hyomin asked.
"Barely," Sunny said as she sat down in front of Hyomin, placing her hand over the table to intertwine her finger's with Hyomin.
"Did it at least go well?"
"Absolutely."
Hyomin smiled at Sunny. "Oh look," Hyomin lifted up the paper in front of her and handed it to Sunny, "got an internship at an agency."
"Oh wow, that's great!" Sunny beamed as she accepted the piece of paper to look over.
"But I haven't accepted it yet."
"Why not?"
"Well, it's for a year."
"So?"
"In America."
"Oh," Sunny uttered looking back down at the piece of paper. She would've been happy for her had the post been in an agency anywhere in Seoul, but she truly rather not have Hyomin travel so far away from her.
"I'd be away from all my family and friends and I doubt I could manage myself alone," Hyomin pouted.
"It's a good opportunity, but you don't have to take it if you don't want to," Sunny said placing the paper down.
"I don't want to be away from you," Hyomin spoke coyly, smiling at Sunny.
"And your English kinda sucks," Sunny commented.
"It does actually," Hyomin chuckled. "I might not after all but I guess I could at least think it over. Would you miss me?" she asked as she brought up her other hand to intertwine with Sunny's other hand.
"Not really. I have better things to do," Sunny joked.
Like see to a boyfriend that I currently have…
Hyomin pouted and pulled back away from Sunny. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Sunny laughed as she pulled Hyomin back with her hands.
"Will you have dinner with me tonight then?" Hyomin asked. Sunny opened her mouth to answer but immediately stopped when she recalled the dinner she was already meant to have with her uncle and Sungmin.
"Ah, sorry, can't. Working tonight," Sunny told her.
I hate lying to her, especially when she makes that extremely sad face afterwards.
Hyomin drooped in her seat, and frowned like a little child, her eyes even glistening with upset.
That one.
"You're always working! You work too much Sunny!" Hyomin complained.
"I know, I'm sorry. If I could get out of it, I would," Sunny said.
Hyomin has no idea about Sungmin. If she did, she would've never gotten into this with me. She's not like that.
She also has no idea that none of my friends or family know about her. I told her that I did tell them, but I of course never did. The only people who know about us are Hyomin's own close friends such as Jiyeon, Eunjung, Boram and a few others.
"We hardly spend any time together now days," Hyomin spoke sullenly.
"I know," Sunny nodded her head. "I promise, I'll try to make more time for you."
I have been seeing Hyomin less often lately. When I first started seeing her, I began to neglect everything. Work, friends, Sungmin; to the point it was close to raising suspicion. I didn't have to worry about Sungmin growing suspicious. He knows how important the work I did was and knew I was often busy. He has such faith in me, as if I didn't feel guilty enough.
But I did eventually stop seeing Hyomin so frequently. There were a couple of time when I had not seen her throughout the week. This only led her to be constantly upset. As if our….this thing we have, wasn't complicated enough.
I never thought I'd be in this sort of situation, especially with another girl. I had never found any attraction in girls before, until I met Hyomin I suppose. I met her in a village near Hongcheon where I was visiting some elders. That was where our faithful meeting was; as faithful as slipping in a puddle and landing on top of me could be. We had gotten to talk, discovered we were both from Seoul and ended up exchanging contact information. We constantly kept in touch. She grew so amazingly fond of me and I…I never pushed her away.
I never stopped her from holding my hand, randomly locking me into an embrace, sneaking a kiss onto my cheek…somehow getting me into her bed…
I cannot explain it at all. How I suddenly started having these…feelings for her. I just couldn't pull myself away from her. Maybe it's because of how much she loves me, how happy she makes me with just that smile of hers, but Sungmin loves me too! Yet I find myself feeling more secure and at peace when I'm with her.
Hyomin sighed but lightly smiled at Sunny, "ok," she said before leaning forward to kiss her lips. Sunny returned her kiss wholeheartedly and rested her forehead against hers. They stayed like that for a moment, taking solace in each other's touch. "I love you," Hyomin whispered to her.
Sunny softly smiled and pecked Hyomin's nose but did not speak in return.
She's still waiting to hear those same words from me. I can't even bring myself to say 'you too', or even send a heart when she texts me. I never rejected her the first time she said it to me, I just kissed her and tried to change the subject. I don't even know if I can call her my girlfriend (can I anyways if I already have a boyfriend?), she doesn't even know if she can but she wants to. She wants for us to have a real relationship but I keep holding back.
I don't know what to do.
-
Sunny continued her usual routine, trying to balance her life and her secret relationship with Hyomin but it only proved to become even more stressful as the days and weeks went on. She was still unable to spend much time with Hyomin, mostly because she was still cautious of being discovered. To make things even more stressful, her demanding workload was not helping at all.
"Hey, you listening?"
Sunny looked up from her cell phone to her friend Jessica. "Oh yeah, she saw you guys and thought you were dating," Sunny recalled the story her friend was telling her.
"Right, so I'm like for the hundredth time we're totally just friends and honestly he is so not my type," Jessica rambled.
"Uh huh," Yuri mumbled, her attention fixated on the magazine in her hands. Jessica looked back to Sunny who once again had diverted her attention to her cell phone.
"Well you guys kinda suck," Jessica commented.
"Sorry Jessica," Yuri laughed and closed her magazine to give Jessica the attention she wanted. Before she was about to speak, she glanced at Sunny and noticed the frown on her face as she looked down at her cell phone. "Everything okay?"
"Hm?" Sunny hummed looking up, "oh, yeah, everything's fine, was just lost in thought."
"You alright?" Jessica asked, "You've been kinda out of it a lot recently."
"Um," Sunny thought for a moment on how to respond, "no?"
"Uh, yeah!" Jessica exclaimed.
"I'm kind of worried for you Sunny, you've been working a lot more than usual lately," Yuri spoke.
"There's…just a lot of work," Sunny said, "but don't worry, it's no big deal."
"Let's all go out tonight then. You need to relax once in a while," Yuri suggested. Sunny thought for a moment then looked back down at her cell phone.
Hyomin
Can we meet up tonight please? I miss you.
"You know what," Sunny said looking up to her friends, "you guys go ahead. I have things I need to take care of."
-
After a long while, Sunny was finally able to spend time with Hyomin that night. After having dinner, the two now walked together hand in hand by the park, laughing and simply enjoying each other's company. Hyomin couldn't have been happier to finally just hold Sunny's hand again.
"That one looks like a bunny," Hyomin said, pointing up to a constellation of stars in the sky. Sunny squinted her eyes but could not see the image Hyomin had pointed out.
"There is no bunny!" Sunny said.
"Yes there is! Look," Hyomin placed her head beside Sunny's and pointed to the stars again, "that's the body and those are its ears," she said as she traced out the image with her finger.
"That looks more like a deformed bunny," Sunny giggled.
"No!" Hyomin whined, bouncing on her feet, "it's cute little bunny just like you!"
Sunny burst into laughter at Hyomin's childlike antics. "You are so silly!" she said through her fit of giggles.
"But you love me, right?" Hyomin asked as she nuzzled her nose over Sunny's head.
There was that word again that would cause Sunny to tense and bring up a forced smile. Hyomin was all too familiar with that expression and the uncomfortable air that would suddenly surround them afterwards. The smile on Hyomin's own face disappeared as the two continued their walk. Once again, Hyomin was greeted with silence and could only remain silent herself, but this time she would not let it pass. Be it yes or no, she finally needed an answer.
"Sunny," Hyomin stopped in her tracks and tugged on Sunny's hand to have her stop as well.
"What is it?" Sunny asked turning to face Hyomin. The taller girl hesitated for a moment, diverting her attention to the ground.
"What…" she began before lifting her head up to look Sunny straight in the eye, "what am I to you?" she asked.
Sunny froze for a moment, having not expected such a question. "What do you mean?"
"We're obviously not just friend…"
"Obviously," Sunny nervously chuckled.
"Then what are we?"
Sunny bit her bottom lip and reflected Hyomin's anxious gaze. She slipped her hand out of Hyomin's and walked on forward. "You know what you are to me, Hyomin."
"No I don't," Hyomin responded firmly. Sunny stopped in her tracks but did not turn around to face her. She had always dreaded a moment like this. "Do you even…feel the same as I do?" Hyomin asked. Sunny tried to open her mouth to speak, to turn around and face her but she just couldn't. When Hyomin was met with nothing but silence again, this only made her heart grow more anxious and frustrated. "Do you even consider me your girlfriend?"
"I…" Sunny stuttered as she looked back to Hyomin. Her mouth remained opened but no words would escape her. She released a sigh and averted Hyomin's gaze again.
"You're not ashamed of me are you?" Hyomin meekly asked.
"No!" Sunny exclaimed, "It's not like that, I just-" Sunny trailed off again. Hyomin waited for her to speak but she was greeted with silence once again. Hyomin did not want to, but she was starting to become too overwhelmed by her emotions.
"You never want to talk about this, Sunny. You never tell me anything!" Hyomin cried out.
"What do you want me to say?" Sunny asked, finally turning around completely to face her. Though she knew she was the one who was at fault, she could not help but feel slightly frustrated. "Do you just want me to say I love you?"
"No I want you to tell me how you really feel about me!" Hyomin exclaimed.
"I don't know! Ok?!" Sunny unexpectedly yelled. "I don't know what this is between us. I don't know anything, okay?" she retorted, suddenly letting out all her month's worth of frustration.
Hyomin was taken aback by Sunny's abrupt response. She had never seen her be so irritated with her. Seeing the almost frightened look on her face, Sunny regretted responding so harshly.
"So…" Hyomin stuttered, suddenly feeling the corner of her eyes become wet, "I've never meant anything to you?"
"No, Hyomin, I…I just don't know what to tell you," Sunny exasperatedly said. "Truth is I never expected any of this and I just…" Sunny trailed off when she saw a single tear run down Hyomin's cheek. She closed her mouth, feeling absolutely crushed to have made Hyomin cry.
"I thought…" Hyomin spoke but lost her voice immediately after. She clenched her teeth, trying so hard to not cry in front Sunny. "In the beginning I thought you felt the same way about me as I do. You never had to tell me you loved me, so as long as I knew you really cared about me, I would've waited forever for you, because I really do love you."
Guilt overcame Sunny and she could longer look Hyomin in her eyes. She wanted to comfort her but she just felt so helpless right now.
"But if this was all meaningless to you, then…then I can't keep doing this," Hyomin sobbed as her tears finally streamed down her face. Sunny felt her heart stop, dreading the implication of Hyomin's word. "You don't know how much it hurts when every time I'm with you, you still seem so distant from me," Hyomin said as the tears continued to stream down her face. She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes to dissipate her tears. Hyomin wanted nothing more than for Sunny to console her and tell her everything would be alright, but this time she would not accept her kisses and let everything pass.
Sunny found herself speechless once again, feeling too ashamed of herself to say anything, but when Hyomin suddenly turned around and began walking away, she panicked and took a few steps forward.
"Hyomin!"
Hyomin stopped in her tracks to look back at Sunny. Sunny opened her mouth to speak, desperate to not let Hyomin leave, but no words left her mouth.
Disappointed, Hyomin let out ragged breath. "You never say anything," those were her last words before Hyomin walked away, leaving Sunny on her own. Sunny wanted Hyomin to turn around and run back to her, she wanted herself to run after Hyomin and not let her leave. However, Hyomin continued to walk away and Sunny remained frozen in her place.
She dropped her head into her palms, she wanted to scream. How could she be so stupid? How could she not say a single thing and just let her leave like that?
Maybe it's wrong for me to think this, but I knew I didn't have to worry for too long, that she'll come around. I don't doubt how much she loves me, and I was right, she did come around.
That was when everything fell apart…
-
Hyomin cautiously walked into the very long corridor. Hyomin had never been to Sunny's place, she had often insisted on being in Hyomin's home instead. Hyomin did not even know where she lived until she discovered her address by chance one day when going through some of her belongings. She found Sunny lived in a penthouse apartment which left her baffled on why she would always insist on hanging out in her small, plain home.
After a short walk, Hyomin eventually came upon the door to Sunny's place. It had been a few days since the night at the park, she had refrained from contacting Sunny but she couldn't take it any longer. She admitted it, she was weak and a fool in love; she terribly missed Sunny. She decided she would finally have a real talk with Sunny and set things straight. Taking a deep breath, she pressed her finger to the doorbell.
-
Continue to Part 2.
-
Sometimes I wish my life was different. Sometimes I wish I wasn't the esteemed niece of one of the richest mans in Seoul, or the heir to his acclaimed corporation. Or that I didn't have so many expectations to live up to, so many obligations to fulfill, that I didn't have to lie to those most important to me, my family and friends, to keep them happy.
Well…more of to keep them from judging me.
Sounds like I'm rather disappointed in my life but I'm not. I'm happy with what I've been given, but I need a breath of fresh air. I just feel so trapped sometimes.
Right now, I wish I didn't have a hundred and one things to worry about and could just stay here in her arms.
Sunny looked over her shoulder to see Hyomin still deep in slumber, her head nestled by the crook of Sunny's neck. Sunny smiled at the serene face before laying her head back onto her pillow. She lay comfortably in Hyomin's bed, her back snuggled against the other girl who had an arm draped over Sunny's waist. They lay peacefully together, the only source of light in the room radiated from the sun through the curtains.
Right now Hyomin is the only one who is able to keep me sane. She's a tall, beautiful girl with the greatest heart ever. She is so wonderful, full of life and love, I'm lucky to have met her. She has a much simpler lifestyle than I, who's left pressured everyday with million dollar deals, high end business ventures and other things I'd rather leave to others. She is a photographer who lives in a homey place with her roommates and pretty much lived an all around cheery, normal life. I wish I could live like that.
When Hyomin began to shift in her sleep, Sunny peaked over her shoulder again to greet the girl as she fought to open her eyelids.
"Morning," Sunny smiled.
"Mm," Hyomin merely mumbled before nuzzling her face back behind Sunny's head.
"Still sleepy?" Sunny giggled. Hyomin did not speak but simply shook her head, her response followed by her gentle, steady breathing. "I have to get up soon though," Sunny said.
Hyomin then wrapped her arm around Sunny, albeit very limply as she still had not completely awaken from her slumber to enforce enough strength. Sunny did not attempt to push her away though, she merely smiled and relaxed back into Hyomin's embrace.
I just feel so much at peace with her. I wouldn't trade a moment with her for anything. Right now, this tranquility is all I could ask for.
"Unnie!"
The sheet over the two girls was suddenly snatched away, leaving a cool breeze over the two as they curled their legs up.
"Ya! Jiyeon!" Hyomin, now rudely awoken, yelled up to the girl who disturbed their sleep.
"Thank God you guys have your pajamas on this time," Jiyeon commented as she bit on a piece of toast. "Unnie," Jiyeon called to Sunny, holding up a cell phone in her other hand, "you keep getting messages on your phone."
"I didn't hear it ring," Sunny said as she sat up in bed and accepted the phone from Jiyeon.
"That's because you left it outside," Jiyeon said before walking out of the room. Sunny saw she had five new messages on her phone and opened up the latest to read.
Taeyeon
You plan on attending this meeting?
Sunny quirked an eyebrow and looked up to the wall clock. It was close to 8:00, 30 minutes before her meeting would begin.
"Oh my God!" Sunny exclaimed as she jumped out of bed.
"What, what, what?"Hyomin asked as she watched Sunny dash across the room to pick up her clothing.
"I overslept! My meeting is in 30 minutes!" Sunny exclaimed before disappearing into the adjoined bathroom. Not wasting any time, she took a quick shower and hastily got dressed. Once suited in her blouse and skirt, she sped out of the bathroom while still drying her hair with a towel and began to collect her remaining belongings. Hyomin all the while watched her, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, holding a pillow over her lap.
"Ok," she said as she tossed the towel aside and grabbed her bag and jacket, "I have to run. I'll call you later!" she said before sprinting out of the room.
"Sunny!"
At the call of her name, Sunny immediately spun around and returned to the door of the room. "What?!" she asked anxiously. Did she leave something behind perhaps? In a sense, she somewhat did.
Hyomin smiled and pouted her lips. Sunny released a sigh of relief, relieved she had not forgotten anything but giggled at her lover's antic and walked to her bedside. She leaned down and connected her lips with Hyomin's soft ones into a loving kiss. When she pulled back, she smiled sweetly at the girl before her. "Bye!" she suddenly said before rushing out of the room, unaware of the frown that adorned Hyomin's face after she left.
She sped to the door, passing Jiyeon and Hyomin's house mates, Eunjung, but immediately skid to a halt and turned back around. "Wait, wait, where are my papers?"
"Right here," Eunjung mumbled, holding up a binder in her hand while chewing on her breakfast.
"Oh," Sunny rushed up to Eunjung and took her binder from her hand.
"Buttered toast?" Jiyeon offered holding up a slice of toast to Sunny.
"Oh thank you," Sunny said before grabbing the toast in her mouth and speeding off again.
"Sunny!" both Eunjung and Jiyeon called to her.
Sunny immediately stopped and turned back around again. "Mmpf?!" she muffled with the toast in her mouth. Both Eunjung and Jiyeon then pouted their lips at Sunny, mimicking Hyomin's earlier actions. Sunny dropped the toast into her hand and laughed. She blew a kiss to the two before finally making her way out of the house.
-
"You're late," Taeyeon said as Sunny hurriedly jogged up to her from the long corridor.
"I know, I know," Sunny said, "have they already started?" she asked as she kept walking on.
"No, they decided to wait," Taeyeon said, walking alongside Sunny to the conference room. "You're lucky they're in a good mood today. Your uncle included."
"Let's just get this over with."
-
After the meeting was over and their guests had taken leave, Sunny along with Taeyeon and now her uncle, Lee Soo Man, walked together through the corridors.
"You were late today Sunny," Sunny's uncle commented.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I overslept," Sunny said.
"You've been working very hard as of late," her uncle stated.
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine," Sunny said, offering a smile to her uncle.
As much as I'd like to get away from work, I often bury myself into it when I'm stressed. It's complicated.
"Nonetheless, you did really well today," her uncle said, offering her a proud smile.
My uncle thinks I'm some sort of a prodigy child. I'm not, honestly. I have to exert so much effort to keep my uncle satisfied, he has no idea.
"Take care of yourself okay? I will see both of you later," Lee So Man smiled at the girls before taking his leave in the other direction. The two girls bowed their heads to the elder man before continuing on to Sunny's office. As soon as they reached, Sunny placed her bag and files onto her coffee table and collapsed onto her sofa.
"So what's up?" Taeyeon asked her long time best friend as she sat by the edge of the sofa, "You seem awfully stressed these days."
"I'm just…tired, really," Sunny tiredly responded.
Taeyeon and I are best friends. I wish I could tell her the truth but I'm just so afraid. That alone is killing me that I can't tell my own best friend about the mess that I've made of my life.
The door to Sunny's office opened and a head of a young man looked in. "Hey there," he said when he noticed the girls on the sofa and walked into the room. Sunny smiled as she and Taeyeon stood up to address the man.
"Hey Sungmin," Sunny greeted him as he walked up to her. Sungmin placed a hand behind Sunny's back and placed a quick peck at the corner of her lips.
Sungmin here is my boyfriend. Yes, that's right. My boyfriend.
Yes, I know…
This would be the 'mess' I was referring to earlier.
"How did the meeting go?" he asked, smiling brightly.
"Oh you know, as usual, killed it and secured a deal for millions more than this company needs," Sunny jested causing the other two to laugh.
"That's great! So listen, I ran into your uncle in the hall, he wanted us to have dinner together tonight," Sungmin said.
"Um, sure, I think I'm free tonight," Sunny accepted.
"Alright then, I gotta get back to the office. I'll see you later," Sungmin said before placing another kiss over Sunny's cheek. "See you later Taeyeon," he said to Taeyeon as well before leaving Sunny's office.
I don't know how it happened. It just did and I don't know how to fix it anymore.
-
Around lunch time, Sunny left to meet with Hyomin at her friend's café. As she entered the café, she made her way up to the counter where a girl shorter than herself worked behind the counter.
"Hello Boram unnie," Sunny greeted her.
"Hello Sunny!" Boram brightly greeted her in return. "Hyomin said you were coming, so," Boram turned around to retrieve a cup from the back, "here's your usual and Hyomin's waiting downstairs," she said handing her the cup and pointing to the stairs to the right.
Sunny chuckled and accepted the drink. "Thank you, unnie!" she said before making her way to the staircase.
Her friends have grown so accustomed to me. Amazing how much support they show Hyomin.
Sunny walked down into the basement lounge which was currently empty excluding Hyomin's presence.
"Sunny!" Hyomin brightly exclaimed once she saw the short haired brunette approach her table. Sunny smiled at her and leant her head to down to share a quick kiss.
"Got to your meeting on time?" Hyomin asked.
"Barely," Sunny said as she sat down in front of Hyomin, placing her hand over the table to intertwine her finger's with Hyomin.
"Did it at least go well?"
"Absolutely."
Hyomin smiled at Sunny. "Oh look," Hyomin lifted up the paper in front of her and handed it to Sunny, "got an internship at an agency."
"Oh wow, that's great!" Sunny beamed as she accepted the piece of paper to look over.
"But I haven't accepted it yet."
"Why not?"
"Well, it's for a year."
"So?"
"In America."
"Oh," Sunny uttered looking back down at the piece of paper. She would've been happy for her had the post been in an agency anywhere in Seoul, but she truly rather not have Hyomin travel so far away from her.
"I'd be away from all my family and friends and I doubt I could manage myself alone," Hyomin pouted.
"It's a good opportunity, but you don't have to take it if you don't want to," Sunny said placing the paper down.
"I don't want to be away from you," Hyomin spoke coyly, smiling at Sunny.
"And your English kinda sucks," Sunny commented.
"It does actually," Hyomin chuckled. "I might not after all but I guess I could at least think it over. Would you miss me?" she asked as she brought up her other hand to intertwine with Sunny's other hand.
"Not really. I have better things to do," Sunny joked.
Like see to a boyfriend that I currently have…
Hyomin pouted and pulled back away from Sunny. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Sunny laughed as she pulled Hyomin back with her hands.
"Will you have dinner with me tonight then?" Hyomin asked. Sunny opened her mouth to answer but immediately stopped when she recalled the dinner she was already meant to have with her uncle and Sungmin.
"Ah, sorry, can't. Working tonight," Sunny told her.
I hate lying to her, especially when she makes that extremely sad face afterwards.
Hyomin drooped in her seat, and frowned like a little child, her eyes even glistening with upset.
That one.
"You're always working! You work too much Sunny!" Hyomin complained.
"I know, I'm sorry. If I could get out of it, I would," Sunny said.
Hyomin has no idea about Sungmin. If she did, she would've never gotten into this with me. She's not like that.
She also has no idea that none of my friends or family know about her. I told her that I did tell them, but I of course never did. The only people who know about us are Hyomin's own close friends such as Jiyeon, Eunjung, Boram and a few others.
"We hardly spend any time together now days," Hyomin spoke sullenly.
"I know," Sunny nodded her head. "I promise, I'll try to make more time for you."
I have been seeing Hyomin less often lately. When I first started seeing her, I began to neglect everything. Work, friends, Sungmin; to the point it was close to raising suspicion. I didn't have to worry about Sungmin growing suspicious. He knows how important the work I did was and knew I was often busy. He has such faith in me, as if I didn't feel guilty enough.
But I did eventually stop seeing Hyomin so frequently. There were a couple of time when I had not seen her throughout the week. This only led her to be constantly upset. As if our….this thing we have, wasn't complicated enough.
I never thought I'd be in this sort of situation, especially with another girl. I had never found any attraction in girls before, until I met Hyomin I suppose. I met her in a village near Hongcheon where I was visiting some elders. That was where our faithful meeting was; as faithful as slipping in a puddle and landing on top of me could be. We had gotten to talk, discovered we were both from Seoul and ended up exchanging contact information. We constantly kept in touch. She grew so amazingly fond of me and I…I never pushed her away.
I never stopped her from holding my hand, randomly locking me into an embrace, sneaking a kiss onto my cheek…somehow getting me into her bed…
I cannot explain it at all. How I suddenly started having these…feelings for her. I just couldn't pull myself away from her. Maybe it's because of how much she loves me, how happy she makes me with just that smile of hers, but Sungmin loves me too! Yet I find myself feeling more secure and at peace when I'm with her.
Hyomin sighed but lightly smiled at Sunny, "ok," she said before leaning forward to kiss her lips. Sunny returned her kiss wholeheartedly and rested her forehead against hers. They stayed like that for a moment, taking solace in each other's touch. "I love you," Hyomin whispered to her.
Sunny softly smiled and pecked Hyomin's nose but did not speak in return.
She's still waiting to hear those same words from me. I can't even bring myself to say 'you too', or even send a heart when she texts me. I never rejected her the first time she said it to me, I just kissed her and tried to change the subject. I don't even know if I can call her my girlfriend (can I anyways if I already have a boyfriend?), she doesn't even know if she can but she wants to. She wants for us to have a real relationship but I keep holding back.
I don't know what to do.
-
Sunny continued her usual routine, trying to balance her life and her secret relationship with Hyomin but it only proved to become even more stressful as the days and weeks went on. She was still unable to spend much time with Hyomin, mostly because she was still cautious of being discovered. To make things even more stressful, her demanding workload was not helping at all.
"Hey, you listening?"
Sunny looked up from her cell phone to her friend Jessica. "Oh yeah, she saw you guys and thought you were dating," Sunny recalled the story her friend was telling her.
"Right, so I'm like for the hundredth time we're totally just friends and honestly he is so not my type," Jessica rambled.
"Uh huh," Yuri mumbled, her attention fixated on the magazine in her hands. Jessica looked back to Sunny who once again had diverted her attention to her cell phone.
"Well you guys kinda suck," Jessica commented.
"Sorry Jessica," Yuri laughed and closed her magazine to give Jessica the attention she wanted. Before she was about to speak, she glanced at Sunny and noticed the frown on her face as she looked down at her cell phone. "Everything okay?"
"Hm?" Sunny hummed looking up, "oh, yeah, everything's fine, was just lost in thought."
"You alright?" Jessica asked, "You've been kinda out of it a lot recently."
"Um," Sunny thought for a moment on how to respond, "no?"
"Uh, yeah!" Jessica exclaimed.
"I'm kind of worried for you Sunny, you've been working a lot more than usual lately," Yuri spoke.
"There's…just a lot of work," Sunny said, "but don't worry, it's no big deal."
"Let's all go out tonight then. You need to relax once in a while," Yuri suggested. Sunny thought for a moment then looked back down at her cell phone.
Hyomin
Can we meet up tonight please? I miss you.
"You know what," Sunny said looking up to her friends, "you guys go ahead. I have things I need to take care of."
-
After a long while, Sunny was finally able to spend time with Hyomin that night. After having dinner, the two now walked together hand in hand by the park, laughing and simply enjoying each other's company. Hyomin couldn't have been happier to finally just hold Sunny's hand again.
"That one looks like a bunny," Hyomin said, pointing up to a constellation of stars in the sky. Sunny squinted her eyes but could not see the image Hyomin had pointed out.
"There is no bunny!" Sunny said.
"Yes there is! Look," Hyomin placed her head beside Sunny's and pointed to the stars again, "that's the body and those are its ears," she said as she traced out the image with her finger.
"That looks more like a deformed bunny," Sunny giggled.
"No!" Hyomin whined, bouncing on her feet, "it's cute little bunny just like you!"
Sunny burst into laughter at Hyomin's childlike antics. "You are so silly!" she said through her fit of giggles.
"But you love me, right?" Hyomin asked as she nuzzled her nose over Sunny's head.
There was that word again that would cause Sunny to tense and bring up a forced smile. Hyomin was all too familiar with that expression and the uncomfortable air that would suddenly surround them afterwards. The smile on Hyomin's own face disappeared as the two continued their walk. Once again, Hyomin was greeted with silence and could only remain silent herself, but this time she would not let it pass. Be it yes or no, she finally needed an answer.
"Sunny," Hyomin stopped in her tracks and tugged on Sunny's hand to have her stop as well.
"What is it?" Sunny asked turning to face Hyomin. The taller girl hesitated for a moment, diverting her attention to the ground.
"What…" she began before lifting her head up to look Sunny straight in the eye, "what am I to you?" she asked.
Sunny froze for a moment, having not expected such a question. "What do you mean?"
"We're obviously not just friend…"
"Obviously," Sunny nervously chuckled.
"Then what are we?"
Sunny bit her bottom lip and reflected Hyomin's anxious gaze. She slipped her hand out of Hyomin's and walked on forward. "You know what you are to me, Hyomin."
"No I don't," Hyomin responded firmly. Sunny stopped in her tracks but did not turn around to face her. She had always dreaded a moment like this. "Do you even…feel the same as I do?" Hyomin asked. Sunny tried to open her mouth to speak, to turn around and face her but she just couldn't. When Hyomin was met with nothing but silence again, this only made her heart grow more anxious and frustrated. "Do you even consider me your girlfriend?"
"I…" Sunny stuttered as she looked back to Hyomin. Her mouth remained opened but no words would escape her. She released a sigh and averted Hyomin's gaze again.
"You're not ashamed of me are you?" Hyomin meekly asked.
"No!" Sunny exclaimed, "It's not like that, I just-" Sunny trailed off again. Hyomin waited for her to speak but she was greeted with silence once again. Hyomin did not want to, but she was starting to become too overwhelmed by her emotions.
"You never want to talk about this, Sunny. You never tell me anything!" Hyomin cried out.
"What do you want me to say?" Sunny asked, finally turning around completely to face her. Though she knew she was the one who was at fault, she could not help but feel slightly frustrated. "Do you just want me to say I love you?"
"No I want you to tell me how you really feel about me!" Hyomin exclaimed.
"I don't know! Ok?!" Sunny unexpectedly yelled. "I don't know what this is between us. I don't know anything, okay?" she retorted, suddenly letting out all her month's worth of frustration.
Hyomin was taken aback by Sunny's abrupt response. She had never seen her be so irritated with her. Seeing the almost frightened look on her face, Sunny regretted responding so harshly.
"So…" Hyomin stuttered, suddenly feeling the corner of her eyes become wet, "I've never meant anything to you?"
"No, Hyomin, I…I just don't know what to tell you," Sunny exasperatedly said. "Truth is I never expected any of this and I just…" Sunny trailed off when she saw a single tear run down Hyomin's cheek. She closed her mouth, feeling absolutely crushed to have made Hyomin cry.
"I thought…" Hyomin spoke but lost her voice immediately after. She clenched her teeth, trying so hard to not cry in front Sunny. "In the beginning I thought you felt the same way about me as I do. You never had to tell me you loved me, so as long as I knew you really cared about me, I would've waited forever for you, because I really do love you."
Guilt overcame Sunny and she could longer look Hyomin in her eyes. She wanted to comfort her but she just felt so helpless right now.
"But if this was all meaningless to you, then…then I can't keep doing this," Hyomin sobbed as her tears finally streamed down her face. Sunny felt her heart stop, dreading the implication of Hyomin's word. "You don't know how much it hurts when every time I'm with you, you still seem so distant from me," Hyomin said as the tears continued to stream down her face. She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes to dissipate her tears. Hyomin wanted nothing more than for Sunny to console her and tell her everything would be alright, but this time she would not accept her kisses and let everything pass.
Sunny found herself speechless once again, feeling too ashamed of herself to say anything, but when Hyomin suddenly turned around and began walking away, she panicked and took a few steps forward.
"Hyomin!"
Hyomin stopped in her tracks to look back at Sunny. Sunny opened her mouth to speak, desperate to not let Hyomin leave, but no words left her mouth.
Disappointed, Hyomin let out ragged breath. "You never say anything," those were her last words before Hyomin walked away, leaving Sunny on her own. Sunny wanted Hyomin to turn around and run back to her, she wanted herself to run after Hyomin and not let her leave. However, Hyomin continued to walk away and Sunny remained frozen in her place.
She dropped her head into her palms, she wanted to scream. How could she be so stupid? How could she not say a single thing and just let her leave like that?
Maybe it's wrong for me to think this, but I knew I didn't have to worry for too long, that she'll come around. I don't doubt how much she loves me, and I was right, she did come around.
That was when everything fell apart…
-
Hyomin cautiously walked into the very long corridor. Hyomin had never been to Sunny's place, she had often insisted on being in Hyomin's home instead. Hyomin did not even know where she lived until she discovered her address by chance one day when going through some of her belongings. She found Sunny lived in a penthouse apartment which left her baffled on why she would always insist on hanging out in her small, plain home.
After a short walk, Hyomin eventually came upon the door to Sunny's place. It had been a few days since the night at the park, she had refrained from contacting Sunny but she couldn't take it any longer. She admitted it, she was weak and a fool in love; she terribly missed Sunny. She decided she would finally have a real talk with Sunny and set things straight. Taking a deep breath, she pressed her finger to the doorbell.
-
Continue to Part 2.